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Due April 16; 3 kids; 2 angel babies; Toronto, Ontario 24 posts
Jan 11th '08

Hello my name is Daniela
i had a miscarrige at 8 weeks of my pregnancy but didnt notice until i was 12 weeks i started bleeding and went to the hospital rite away. They told me the baby didnt develop a heart beat i was really sad because i wasnt taking care of myself I wasnt taking no prenatal pill(not sure what they are called) it was the first time i was pregnant and wasnt sure that i had to take them. I planned with my boyfriend to have another baby around december and became pregnant right away as soon as i found out i was pregnant took the prenatal pills started to take care of myself i was 20 so i was still attending school (high school) so those pill would make me very nausous and dizzy I was really excited because the due date was on September 21st and my b-day was around september 9th . When i saw my baby's first ultrasound it was beautiful but they detected a problem in my blood then i had to a specialist and found out there was nothing wrong. We found out it was a boy after that i found out couple of weeks later that my grandfather had cancer so i started stressing out and other problems i started to stress out (im a type of person who doesnt show their feeling i keep them to myself ) We already desided to name our baby Juan-Angel (after my grandfather his name Juan ) And my grandfather was very emotional that i was going to name the baby after him. As the months passed i became very annoyed and stress out with people my boyfriend couldnt keep a job. When i was 30 weeks i had my appointment with the gynecologist they found my bloodpressute a little high but didnt worry about it .
I was about 31 weeks going to 32 i woke up early to go to the washroom (I lived with my parents and my partner with his) I was trying to go to do #2 i couldnt then i started to get alot of pain it went away i called my partner told him but we didnt pay attention (i was really constipated) He then had to do something with his parents then the pain started to come stronger i couldnt even get my stuff from my room i tried to call my young sister but she's a hard sleeper i went to my parents bedroom and woke up my little sister to call my other sister since it hurted me even to sit down my dad said i was prolly having contractions i called my partner again practically screaming he came to get me with his dad's car they took me to the closest hospital (and not to my gynecologist)they made me do the protein test and it look like a tea colour the nurse told me to drink more water it was bad for the baby then she was trying to find the heart beat they called down to do an ultra sound they didnt tell me nothing then the doctor came she told me there's bad news your baby is dead (she was so harsh) i was so shocked she gave me something so i could have the baby after she left i started crying the nurses were there holding my hand then they put me on a seperate room and me and my partner were crying ... after that i had my blood pressure really high i gave birth to my son the next day on july 27th 5 mins b4 12 they didnt show me the baby at first because they were more worried(I was hoping they were wrong and he was alive) I delived a stillborn baby then i was able to see him all i could do was touch his hands look at him gave him a kiss touch his nose he looked like his dad he was the most gorgeus little boy... We didnt want to have no autopsy because he was a baby and i didnt want noone to open him up and play around with his little body and it turns out that the placenta abrupted i was in the hospital 3-4 days because my blood pressure was high It was truly the hardest time i ever lived i kept on hearing babies crying they put me in the maternity side outside the window i could see on the other side a couple with a baby and mine was dead..... i went to the doctors after this happened they send me to a specialist and also another specialist to deal with my highblood pressure and they thought maybe i had blood clot or lupus this week on wednesday i finally got the results im perfectly fine and i could have a baby...
Everyday you miss them you see urself in the mirror with your stomach empty and with stretch marks that will always remind you he was there even if i cry my heart out he wont be alive i just got to visit him in the cementary and wonder everyday how big he would be and just miss him until i join him ....
I'm glad for those ones who had tried again make me feel with hope that i should try again even tho probably i'll be extremely paranoid

Sock Lady 6 kids; 4 angel babies; Hell, ON, Canada 11758 posts
Jan 13th '08

Hi, my name is Kelteyona, and I am 21 years old. I had my first son, when I was 18, he is 3 now. With my second pregnancy I miscarried at 15 weeks on November 18th, 2005 and not a day goes by where I don't think of my baby. My fiance and I namedour baby November. I recently just had another baby boy on October 16th, 2007, he is 3 months old. My fiance and I miss our baby so much, but at least we know that our sons have a gaurdian angel to watch over them.
I miss my baby so much.
R.I.P baby November,
We love you, always & forever!

Steph .V. 19 kids; Rhode Island 69 posts
Jan 13th '08
Quoting Mama Melis:
Top Shotta 17 kids; Punta Gorda, Belize 44735 posts
Jan 14th '08

Hi my name is Kelei
Im 23 yrs old.On Saturaday Dec.22, 07 I woke up and began to have really bad back pains. I assumed that it may have been gas which I usually had since I was pregnant.But this felt a little different. My boyfriend had just left with my little brother to the barbershop,so I was alone.I finally just got up and went to the bathroom. After I wiped myself I noticed blood in the tissue.I immediately called my mom and told her the situation and she told me to go to the hospital quick. I knew in my heart that something was wrong.I tried calling my boyfriend but he didn't answer.Luckily my moms boyfriend was able to rush me to the hospital.When I got there I told the doctor that I was 20 wks and 5 days pregnant.She advised me that bleeding may sometimes be normal and that she would take and ultrasound to see what may have been causing the bleeding. My boyfriend then arrived and she began checking me first with her fingers.As soon as she did she took it back out and just looked at me.She told me that she could see my waterbag.My heart literally dropped and I began to cry.She told me that what I felt were contractions.It was just so unrealistic to me and everyone just seemed like it was so normal.She told me very harsh that since I was only 20wks pregnant they would not save the baby after I delivered because there would be no chance of survival.Later that night I had another doctor come in and tell me that I had an incompotent cervix which caused the waterbag to slip through.They advised me that If it would have been caught a little sooner they could have tried to stitch my cervix but would not be able to now because the needle would cause the waterbag to break. They tried laying me on the bed slanted hoping my waterbag would go back in.I told them I was willing to do anything to save my baby so I laid that way for 3 days.They finally did an ultrasoud and told me the sex of my baby,which was a boy.They could also see that his umbilical cord was wraped in the waterbag.I just prayed and prayedfor God to save my babyboy. I had been sick the entire 5 months with really bad morning sickness which contributed to my cervix wall being weak.On Christmas Eve Dec. 24 I got a really bad fever of 104 and began to throw up.I could literally feel the waterbag bulge everytime I threw up.The doctors rushed in and told me the baby caught an infection and it was life threating for me and could cause me to die if I kept the baby in.I just cried and cried because Lord only knew how much I wanted my son.I made the choice to deliver.They gave me medicine to speed up the contractions and as soon as my boyfriend arrived my water broke and I could feel my baby coming out.That was the scariest thing I have ever experienced.The only thing that is keeping me sane is knowing that my son is in heaven watching over us.So ladies just keep praying through the storm, because this will only makes us stronger.My son is my inspiration and I pray for him everyday.



R.I.P to my beautiful son Kaleim D. Whitaker
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MY BABY BOY IS HERE 1 child; Lockport, Illinois 65 posts
Jan 15th '08

kelei my story is almost the same i was about 23 weeks though i went to the hospital for bleeding and my cervix had opened the dr looked at me and said well ur baby wont make it and walked away i was devastated the next day they broke my water and i deliverd my son he lived for 12 min before he passed i am now almost 12 weeks and i went to the er last night and i already have sighns of a weak cervix so i have to go in and get the surgury i am so sorry for ur loss and over time things will get better i promise if u ever need someone im here

JeanN 1 child; 3 posts
Jan 15th '08

Hello, my name is Jean. My husband to be and I have been together for 15 years........... I am 38, almost 39. Leo would have been 47 this past Nov. We conceived and had a very uneventful very joyous pregnancy with our daughter. We were thrilled to pieces to no end really. It had taken us so very long to conceive. And when we found out at 16wks 5days that we had a baby girl, we were so tickled pink. We planned we shopped we started to paint her room in a princess decor. i started buying and ordering girly girl outfits and hanging them in her closet and Leo got the crib and furniture put togeter and the weeks just flew by. my appmnts and u/s's werre great except about week 37 there was a start of some higher amniotic fluic levels but was told it was not an issue and i stupidly thought nothing of it. so at 39wks i was in early laror at home having cx and i was just feeling something not right i was barely feeling her move ay all and call and OB said i am full term and am in labor there is very little room for her to move really at this point and i am stressed and i just need to breathe and try to take a warm tub and relax and come in when cx were like 3-4 mins apart. well later in ther nite i said to Leo no this is not right right honey, something is terribly wrong. so when we got there they hook the monitors to baby anf could not find a heartbeat or movements. My Ob got ther and did an u/s and no heartbeart nothing. She was gone. our babygirl was gone. how? why? no.my cx continued with the aide of some pitocin and April 18, 2005 Abigail Grace was delivered and laid in my arms still and silent so beautiful. rosey cheeks. big round cheeks. perfect headto toe. she was alive 12c hours before. my precious Angel. The cause of death was cord strangulation mostly due to high amniotic fluid. We were beyond devastated. I remember very little of the folowing months. But Leo and I conceived again and I am now 22wks. But this past Oct 12, he passed away very suddenly i was about 6-7 wks along. But This is OUR baby. A boy. Rylan Leo Nikkolas. Daddy would be so beyond thrilled to be having a son.
I ts all so bittersweet and difficult. I am now suffering very early pre-eclampsia and am confined to full bedrest.
So that is my story. I miss our Angelgirl Abigail. I miss my love of my life. And i pray yo god this miracle boy will be born to my arms alive and healthy.

MAMOF2 2 kids; United Kingdom 54 posts
Jan 17th '08

Hi jean,im so sorry what has happened, life can be so cruel.ill be thinking of you through these months of pregnancy and wishing you well.Im new to this and just clicked on the page im not expecting but got two boy 6 and 2.thissite have got my heart and i signed up straight awayhope you dont mind me replying.Thinking of all 3 of you loveTracey.

latina_08 Indiana 3 posts
Jan 28th '08

MY NAME IS VICKIE I HAD TWO MISCARRIAGES. I JUST HAD ONE IN DECEMBER. AND NOW THE GUY I WAS PREGNANT BUT HAD A BABY ON THE WAY AND SHE IS 6 MONTHS PREGNANT. AND IAM HOPIN MY LIL ANGEL IS DOIN FINE IN HEAVEN AND WATCHING OVER ME WHILE I GET MY LIFE TOGATHER.. I LOVE YOU LIL ONE.. MOMMY AINT GOIN NO WHERE IAM HERE WITH YOU..

R.I.P.LIL ONE
OCTOBER 21,2008 TO DECEMBER 23,2008
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU BABY

CakeBakin'Mama 34 kids; Indiana 678 posts
Jan 28th '08

Quoting Rina-o1-o9-2oo8:
Tommie Tran Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 3 posts
Jan 30th '08

Hi my name is Tommie, I was on Babygaga before in 2006 when I first became pregnant, then I didn't log on anymore after I miscarried. My first miscarriage was at 10 weeks but the count wasn't as high as this pregnancy. My due date was March 01, 2007 . I started spotting on July 10th and went to the emergency room, big mistake! They started poking and prodding, then they told me to go home and put my feet up for the next 3 days. July 17, 2006 I completely miscarried.
That was the worst feeling I have ever felt in my life, I immediately knew what had happened and I took it out of the toilet and put it in a sterile container for my husband to take to work (we both work in the lab) and called the doctor the next morning. It has taken my this long to get pregnant again, we went through AI and it didn't take so when I tested positive this past month I was so excited but scared at the same time. I'm sure you ladies understand. Last Tuesday I started spotting again only this time it wasn't bright red. I called the doctor and he didn't seem very concerned, this past weekend I had discharge Saturday morning and again yesterday morning. I went to the hospital yesterday to have my HCG checked and the count is 66502, the doctor is still positive that everything is okay. Today I started my period and he just told me to take a double dose of Progesterone and go lay down and relax and call him tomorrow morning to see what time I need to go get my ultrasound. My count wasn't even this high when I miscarried last time, so I'm really scared. I don't want to stress about it though. I have to have faith in God and my Doctor. Hopefully this will work and all I have to do is keep up the double dose of Progesterone and keep up the bedrest. This is my second marriage and I have never had a child before, my husband and I really want this I will be 45 this year and he is 44. If God sees it in his plans for us to be parents I will accept what ever he sees fit for us.

Speck TTC since Oct 2007; 2 kids; United Kingdom 69 posts
Jan 31st '08

Hi all, my name's Becki but everyone calls me Speck. I joined Babygaga a couple of days ago after finding this forum and thought maybe I'd found somewhere I can get the support I need.
I'm 22, my partner Tom is 21 and he's the love of my life after a long stream of total losers.



I first got pregnant at 13 after being raped by my then-boyfriend (he was gone after that - I pinned him against a wall by his throat in the middle of school and said if he ever looked at me again I'd have his balls. I should've gone to the police really but I was young and naieve). My sister took me to the hospital and they gave me a chemical abortion. It was horrible but it was for the best. I'm pro-choice because of that experience.



When I was 14 I got pregnant again but lost the baby after a couple of weeks. I didn't know what I felt, being so young, but I knew my heart was broken. Me and that boyfriend split up soon after. I blamed myself for a long time and thought that the abortion had robbed me of any chance to ever have children.



Thankfully I was wrong and I had my daughter when I was 16. Very young I know but the only thing I ever wanted in life was to be a mommy. The pregnany was straight forward except for a miscarridge scare at about 6 weeks. When I went back for a second scan a couple of weeks later and saw her heart beating away was the happiest moment of my life after holding her and her littlebrother for the first time.
Me and her dad split up when she was 9 months old after he became violent towards me in front of the baby. He smashed a convex mirror (like a shop security mirror) less than a foot away from me andI was holding the baby. It was a miricle neither of us was cut.



When my daughter was 18 months old I got pregnant again but this time I didn't find out until I lost the baby 6 weeks later. I was on the hormone implant since my daughter was a couple of months old but it failed. My heart broke again with that miscarrige and a few months later we started TTC.



I got pregnant with my son in Feb 04 and he was born on Nov 27th. From his point of view the pregnancy was a breeze but I got constant nausea the whole time and sciatica to boot. However he was born healthy and happy and that's what counts.
However once again it showed my choice in men sucks and Bill's father left, taking the kids with him. Since he had a 4 bedroom house, both his parents and his brother on hand and a steady income while I was on welfare, living with my father again and myphysical healthon the declineI didn't stand a chance in court and he got full custody. This was amost3 years ago.Now I see my kids when he says so and live in fear of him saying I can't see them anymore. I can't afford a good enough lawyer to give me a chance in court so, for want of a better word, I'm fucked. I hope my kids know I love them no matter what their dad says.



Last year my life got a little bit easier when I met Tom.I know it sounds corny but it was love at first sight. Within a couple of weeks of us being together I was pregnant. He was anxious about it but still genuinely happy.
Only it was not to be, September 3rd 2007I started bleeding and cramping and miscarried. On the saturday I passedBaby Dee. I'd never been far along enough to find anything recogniseable before and it shocked me. I didn't know what to do so I wrapped her up and threw her away, something I will regret forever. I know I was in terrible shock but it doesn't ease the guilt. She should've been buried with her great Nanna, my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago.



Almost 5 months later and I still cry most days. I can't bare to see pregnant women or women with prams. A couple of myoldest friends are having babies at the moment and it kills me. I haven't told themabout baby Dee because I don't want to taint theirjoy.Our baby would've been due around Tom's birthday and it breaks my heart. I'll plaster a smile on for him on his birthday but I know my heart won't be in it. Every smile or laugh is tainted by the guilt that I'll never see Dee laugh or smile. I look at my partner and imagine what our child would've looked like - hazel eyes, light brown curls and the most perfect little cupid lips.
I really don't know how to get over this, everyone expects me to be over it except Tom. Although he can't understand what I'm feeling he lets me feel it rather than telling me to pull myself together, which I will be eternally grateful to him for.
We haven't used contraception since we lost Dee but we're still not pregnant again. I don't know if this is my system recovering (my cycle is back to normal give or take a couple days) or because Tom works away during the week (but we make up for it). Every month my heart breaks a little when my period shows up but I know I have to keep on trying and maybe I'll get my happy ending - a littleBaby Beth or Baby Bob =)
edit in - after reading all the stories in this thread I can't help thanking God that I live in the UK. I've been studying obstetrics for a very long time and have been pregnant 6 times myself and I can't help thinking that alot of you ladies would have recieved better care here than you did in the states.
I can't imagine having to drive to the next town for an ultrasound -here almost every midwife has one in the building they're based in unless it's a very, very rural town (like the middle of scotland or something).
And our medical services are paid for by tax, not the patient, so they obviously have alotLESS money than american clinics.Here we only pay for prescriptions (fixed price of less than $15),dental work and the opticions and if you're pregnant, have a child under one year old or are disabled or out of work it's all free!
People here are always complaing about waiting lists on the National Health Service but after hearing what healthcare is like in the states I think god it exists at all.
I know many of you ladies had wonderful doctors/midwives/nurses but I can't help thinking that is in spite of the american medicalsystem, not because of it.
anyway, sorry, I just had to vent myanger that people are still having to pay for healthcare (surely a basic human right)and express my gratitude that I live in a country where there is an NHS.

Mrs. Blount 18 kids; California 558 posts
Jan 31st '08

I never thought I would be posting here but here it gose.....



My name is Shannon (27) married to my wonderful Hubby of 5yrs Jerry (29) and after TTC for 2 yrs and under going moderate infertility treament we finally succeeded on Dec14th. Needless to say we were on cloud nine! And despite a rocky start we were optimistic that all was going to be ok.



Well we found out today at our 9week U/S that our Christmas miracle stopped thriving at 6weeks 1day - actually just about moments after our last U/S (6Weeks 1 Day two weeks ago) and seeing the heartbeat flicker God took it away. I'm angry that he gave our baby a heartbeat and took it away within a blink. What was the point?



Right now I am devistated, heartbroken and lost. I find myself forgetting to breath. It is so hard to have our baby dead inside me. I just want to go in there and tear it out so I can grieve. How am I supposed to move on if my body doesn't want to let go? My doctor told me I should wait another week until I seek medical intervention. I do not know if I can handle this. This wasn't supposed to happen. I just want to keep crying. I have nothing but loving ppl around me, but I cannot help but feel completely alone........



VeronicaH 5 kids; Sweden 1 posts
Feb 1st '08

Hello, My name is Veronica living in Sweden so be patient with my spelling :oops: 2 weeks ago I had my 9th ma but I have had 5 children that I have carried through the pregnansy but one of my twinns died after birth 4 years ago. And between al the children I ma frpn week 7 - 12 and it hurts so much every time.

Next week I

Miiiillll AAAA Texas 2 posts
Feb 1st '08

Hi! I am 22 years old and last December 23 i lost my baby. The doctor says it happens often in the first pregnancy, and that it could'f been that the babies genetics was not perfect and my body rejected it. Some people say that it was little time and that it was not that bad. But it was my first pregnacy and i was very sad. My due date was July 11 and I was looking foward to have my baby. Today I live a life completly diferent. I am single again, I have more willing to finish my career and I hope one day I am ready and my baby is ready for me too. I love my baby even thoght I never saw it somehow I felt it physcaly and most important in spirit. Today I want to become the best person I could be so if one day god sends me an angel to be with me I could be the best person and mommy ever. Hope all of you have a positive attitude towards this and look to the future as I am doing. Also I want to let u know that I feel your pain and that you are all wonderfull persons. Hopefully I could talk to some of you girls. Best wishes.
Millie

Miiiillll AAAA Texas 2 posts
Feb 1st '08
Quoting Juanangelito: