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Jen 182 2 kids; Tool, TX, United States 34174 posts
Aug 26th '09

Alright... starting over....


Oh Ali I want to hug you but my arms just can't quite reach from here! That's what I get for being short i guess...

You should not feel bacd about giving away the crib. You have so many memories of Gabriel and will never ever forget any of them. Constant reminders pop up in your thoughts daily I'm sure and that crib was not needed for you to just hang on to. Giving it up is not giving up your memories of him. It's just passing on to someone else who needed it. I am positive it wasn't just thrown away and that another family is greatful for the gift.

As for the guilt and thoughts of how Gabriel passed... you have got to stop thinking you did anything wrong. Any mother in your situation would want what was best for their child. I could never imagine having to see my son suffer through so much and not doing something about it. He's in a happier place now. I have a story that might help even though its completely different. A couple years ago a friend of mine was drinking very heavily and got in his truck and killed himself and harmed another friend moments later. I was there with them that night and was the last person he ever spoke to. I knew he was too drunk to drive. I suggested he stay there but I didn't push it. There are a billion and one things I could have done differently that entire night to have stopped that from ever happening. But ultimately, I didn't and I cannot change the past. You have got to quit beating yoruself up over what you could have, should have, would have done, or all the what ifs. Because those things you cannot change. You did what you did. I did what I did and it hurts so much to think I could have changed theoutcome but thinknig about it doesnt help. It only makes me depressed and sad and I've come to realize that everything happens for a reason. No matter what it is. I can not change it, I can only move forward in life and hold onto the memories i have of him.

I hope this helped.

LOVE YOU!

Mya&Liam's Mom 2 kids; Minnesota 43453 posts
Aug 26th '09
Quoting Jen [PSM~OG]:
Jen 182 2 kids; Tool, TX, United States 34174 posts
Aug 26th '09
Quoting ♥MyasMama♥:
Mya&Liam's Mom 2 kids; Minnesota 43453 posts
Aug 26th '09
Quoting Jen [PSM~OG]:
Jess&Lee+3 3 kids; 10 angel babies; New London, CT, United States 20456 posts
Aug 26th '09

Oh Ali, I'm so sorry you're having a hard time.
I remember when I found out I was pregnant I went out and bought this little hat, well a few short weeks I found out I miscarried and I gave the hat to a friend. To this day I hoard hats... just trying to make sure I never have that feeling again. I know it sounds so stupid because it was just a hat but it was my babies hat. I was 18 weeks along when I miscarried, it was the hardest day of my life. Just remember the crib is not what is important, the memory is. Never let the memory of your sweet angel go and never blame yourself for him growing his wings.
Gabriel is watching over you and your sons, but now he will watch over the baby that is using his crib. Just think of it that way. He will always be there listening and watching.

Jen 182 2 kids; Tool, TX, United States 34174 posts
Aug 26th '09
Quoting ♥MyasMama♥:
Libertarian ♥ 19 kids; San Antonio, Texas 17690 posts
Aug 26th '09

thanks everyone.



I cried, but it made me feel better to think that Gabriel would be watching over who ever is using his crib right now.



:D



And Jen thank you for re-writing and posting that even after your little monster deleted it!

Jen 182 2 kids; Tool, TX, United States 34174 posts
Aug 26th '09
Quoting ~Ali~ {PSM}:
Audi +3.5 Due November 22 (girl); 3 kids; Pinellas Park, Florida 2322 posts
Aug 27th '09

Oh,This made me cry...
And honey,Please don't beat yourself up over it.You didn't want your baby to suffer and keeping him here to hope for a miracle would just prolong the pain.
God it taking good care of Gabriel.
Letting the crib go was probably for the best because hanging onto it would just prolong the healing process as well.
Take your time and keep in mind that he is in a better place now and that he loves his mommy and is watching over you!
Best of lick sweetie!

Joseph & Ben's Mommy!! 4 kids; Emory, Texas 2537 posts
Aug 28th '09

He's not gone sweetie, he will always be with you and your boys. They have a big brother watching over them and now a new little baby is using his crib just like it was intended, I am sure that made him smile.
I have not lost a child, but I did lose my mother a few years ago and it was hard to let go of her stuff, but you know I realized it was just stuff, it wasn't her and I wasn't being disrespectful by doing it either. It took me about a year to even think about it, I basically closed off the room and forgot about it, then when I went back thru the stuff I was wondering why I kept some of the things I did, like her curling iron, bathroom stuff, used makeup and things.
Do it in your own time is my point, there are no rules, and I know right now you feel that loss again, but in a few days you will be glad you did it and a precious little one is sleeping good tonight.
God Bless you and your beautiful family, your boys are just precious, all of them.