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His crib is gone.. Libertarian ♥ 19 kids; San Antonio, Texas 17690 posts
Aug 26th '09

Ha I know this is crazy. Gabriel never got to use his crib, and it was all beat up from moving around with it and putting his brothers in it. We had to buy two new cribs for the boys and I moved Gabriel's out and put a sign on it that said "Free". I thought I was doing a good thing, moving on you know? And someone took it. Now I want it back.



I'm just not ready to let him go, this is all I have of him. I should never have been dumb and put it out side. I just...Well I dunno, I thought I was ready. But then I decided I wasn't and it was too late. Well who ever got my baby's crib I hope they needed it and they will have happy times with it.



Gosh lately it's been so hard. I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!! I want him to come back (God I sound like I did the day he died). Maybe he would have survived if we would have given him more time. Maybe the tests were wrong and he was actually fine. We didn't even get a second opinion!!!



What was I thinking?? Why did I let him go? He could have healed and had a miracle right?? I took that away. God it feels like I gave up on him, but I just didn't want him to suffer...



I miss you Gabriel James, little GJ.....



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Briyanna's madre 1 child; Asheville, North Carolina 1658 posts
Aug 26th '09
Quoting ~Ali~ {PSM}:
TheAirForceEXWife 2 kids; Texas 30826 posts
Aug 26th '09

aw mama don't beat yourself up. I am sorry you regret letting it go, but maybe it will help the healing process ya know? It will get easier! I will be praying for you

Mom and son 33 kids; California 3351 posts
Aug 26th '09

you did the right thing? Trying to let go of the crib that is. You might have put it out just in time for someone that really needs one to have found it. Good luck and sorry for your lose mama, be strong

Jan~mom of 3 hoping for 4 TTC since Jul 2009; 18 kids; Taylor, Michigan 13259 posts
Aug 26th '09

Aww momma I'm so sorry. I am sure you did a very good thing! Especially in this economy everyone is hurting, and his crib probably went to a family that really needed one. I hope you know how strong you are.

~ Julie ~ 36 kids; Minneapolis, Minnesota 9060 posts
Aug 26th '09

Awww Momma, what you are going through must be so difficult. Don't be too hard on yourself for getting rid of his crib, perhaps it went to someone who really needed it and hopefully letting go will help you in the healing process. I wish I had something better to tell you, I am so sorry that you have lost a little one. :(

Libertarian ♥ 19 kids; San Antonio, Texas 17690 posts
Aug 26th '09

Thanks ladies, it's just so hard you know? There are so few things I have of his, and I told myself that I will never give them up. But something just told me to do it and I did.



I really hope that person needs it and didn't just throw it away :(

~Just Me~ 3 kids; Oklahoma 15830 posts
Aug 26th '09
Quoting ~Ali~ {PSM}:
user banned 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 30985 posts
Aug 26th '09

Awe, GJ was such a tiny little cutie. Some baby out there is very lucky to have his crib, and have a nice safe clean place to sleep. Clearly the parents couldnt afford much if they picked out of the trash. You a really nice person. Dont think of it as "letting go" of your son, you still love him the same with the crib gone right? of course you do. you're just sharing the job of your son (the crib) with others.

countrymummy Due December 2; 5 kids; Minden, Australia 141 posts
Aug 26th '09

sorry to hear about your little GJ. like everyone has said you have done the right thing someone who really needed it has probably stumbled across it an it has made their day knowing they can have someplace safe for their baby to sleep...



hold on to things that u have of him that you said you would...big things are just going to get in the way...perhaps keep a teddy or something u first brought him with u on ur beside table. I couldn't imagine what your going threw but take the time to look after yourself and the other littlies x*x

Mya&Liam's Mom 2 kids; Minnesota 43453 posts
Aug 26th '09

Ali hun, i wish that Gabriel could be here with you right now as well. I am sure i have said it before but know he is watching down being a big brother angel to your 2 lil boys and protecting them. I am always thinking about you guys and i as well hope that crib went to someone who really really really needed it! Hugs mama!

*J* 50 kids; 14412 posts
Aug 26th '09

aww honey. I wish he was with you. You could have kept that crib forever and had no use out of it... at least now someone is probably getting some much needed use out of it. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this.. i really wish there was something I could do. We all love you and are here for you... *hugs*

Libertarian ♥ 19 kids; San Antonio, Texas 17690 posts
Aug 26th '09

You ladies always know how to make me feel better! *hugs*

CountryRose25 18 kids; Indiana 1207 posts
Aug 26th '09
Quoting ~Ali~ {PSM}:
Jen 182 2 kids; Tool, TX, United States 34174 posts
Aug 26th '09

i have something to say. im going to say it later because i just typed out a huge ass long f**king story and then jett deleted it and im so angry at him right now. i need to get offline and go cool off and try to calm the f**k down. GRRR.