A little over a week ago I woke up went to the bathroom and noticed i was bleeding. I panicked and went to the store to buy a HPT to confirm i was indeed pregnant and my first was not a false positive. Test came out pregnant. At that point I had not told anyone I was pregnant. I had planned a dinner and special night for my husband for friday. I had to tell my husband to take me to the hospital and that is how he found out. Nothing how i planned. I spent the entire day in the hospital getting blood work, U/S, vagnial exam. I was finally diagnosed with a threatend miscarriage 6 weeks. I had horrible pain for 2 days. I went back for blood work after 2 days and my levels went from 649 to 244. My baby went to heaven. I passed tissue the second day, that I am sure was the baby. As sad as this sounds, I kept it and plan to bury it.
The first 2 days of my miscarriage, the hardest and most painful, I was home alone with my son most of the day. My husband had to be a conference. The day after that and for the next 7 days my husband had to go 4 hours out of town for work. He didnt want to leave me, but with my new hospital bills he had no choice. I was alone for my entire miscarriage, taking care of my 2 year old.
Being a mom gave me no time to mourn. I had no time to cry. I wanted to break down everyday but couldn't. I had to force myself into denial in order to make it through the day.
My mom came over one day to pick me so I wouldnt be lonely. We ended up arguing because I hurt her feelings apparently because i had a bad attitude and didnt seem grateful. I havent heard from her in a week. My sister came by on friday and took me to lunch. The entire conversation was about her relationship problems, not once about how I feel. to. I got only one phone call. My MIL checking on me since i was alone, not one mention of the miscarriage. I finally was interested in checking my email today. I got not one email from any one. I haven't had anyone really tell me anything.
I have never felt soo alone.
I found out the other day that my friend is having a baby. Her brother knows I miscarried, he is best friends with my husband. She calls me today all happy about her pregnancy wanting advice and to go shopping. We have the same due date. Her pregnancy has made my loss harder to bare.
My husband finally came home late sunday night. Monday was our first real day together to bond over everything, and a friend with relationship problems needs our help moving his things and then he spends the night with us and today talking about his shity problems. My husband told him last night about what happened. T his friend said nothing to me. He left finally after having to get an attitude.
I am so tired of people, and their selfish needs!
I have yet had a single moment to myself to just think and have a good cry. I have only been able to cry when i am lying in bed to sleep. And to think that no one seems to care only about them selves hurts even more. My husband cares but he hasnt been around. I love my son, but I cant cry around him, he doesnt understand and i cant make him worry about mommy. I have had to be so numb
I just want to scream. Is it so selfish of me to want to hear a few kind words from my family, my friends?
My baby is in heaven, this is my only comfort.
I know it's not much help but a lot of people don't know what to say. "I'm sorry" seems too generic and if someone's never experience that sort of pain, then everything else just seems stupid. It's so sad to hear about your loss. It's perfectly normal to grieve.
im sorry about ur loss mama. Talk to God. he is ALWAYS there when people fail u.
People will ALWAYS fail u but God never will
I'm sorry for your loss. Us BG mamas are always here, and you can feel free to PM me if you ever wanna talk o someone random.
Honey...go ahead and talk about it. Cry about it.I'mlistening. I'm here.
ur story saddens me big time and brings me back to my 1st m/c with my twins, i dont tell anyone much about it besides i was about 17wks ........and i was beaten
anyways i would have had a son and daughter they would have been 7yrs this month ..........i was alone the father bailed on me when i told him i was pregnant i asked him to go to the dr with me he said wtfe and left...........
so i dealt with it alone no one called no one came...my parents tried but they couldnt make it
if u need some1 to talk to im here for u!! pm me pt me yahoo me email me myspace anyway u want idc
Im so sorry for ur loss darling, *hugs*
i think that maybe when ppl find out they r shocked and dont know what to say or do and act wrongly....
and if they find out after they have been acting up they feel stupid for acting so while ur in so much pain.
i think some of them might be trying to take ur mind off it? i know it probably doesnt help but i would think u wouldnt want to talka bout it...