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She's been lying the whole time Givenagiftoflove85 Ithaca, New York 174 posts
Mar 30th '09

So my boyfriend and I have been given the chance to adopt. It's more like my chance since the babies are his soon to be kids.



I have PCOS and have never been able to conceive my own. The only thing I've ever wanted was to be a mother. The only thing I've been 100% sure of anyway. I was married young and tried to conceive for 3 years, with no luck. After our divorce I found out I had Policystic Ovarian Syndrome. The doctor said the only way I would have my own children is probably through hormone treatments (very expensive). So I'm in a new relationship and just been hoping that someday I get my miracle.



Well my boyfriend and I get in a huge fight about 5 months ago and he goes to an old friends house and ends up sleeping with her. A couple months later I get an E-mail from some guy telling me how 'Ricky' has cheated on me and that the baby is due in August.



My boyfriend had no knowledge of this at the time and quickly tries to call this woman. We finally get a hold of her and she tells him that she didn't want him to know because she wasn't keeping the children. Adoption is her choice, but he can have a say on what couple gets the child if he wants.



We want the baby. We tell her this. She thinks about it, asks some questions, and then tells us she is willing to go through this with us.



Is this my miracle? Yeah I think maybe it is, we get to have our own children and even though it didn't start out the best way this could start something wonderful and give us something we've been wanting so much.



So a few months go by and I'm trying to have somewhat of a relationship with the woman that is carrying my child... my child :). We talk online a lot and ask when doctors appointments are and if she wouldn't mind us attending (she says she wouldn't mind) and ask her to tell me everything that is going on with her that I want to bond with the babies as much as possible in our situation.



Well time goes by and she doesn't ever make an attempt to get ahold of us first, we always have to initiate. When I do I'll ask if she knows when the next doctors visits are and she'll tell me "oh, I already had one" and tell me a little about it.



But I thought you were gonna tell us when it is so we can attend?



Time goes by and I ask if we can see the ultrasound pictures she says she'll send them online...



We get two pictures that doesn't look right at all the wording is wrong and everything doesn't add up. But it says that we're having fraternal twins!



Now remember we want this more than anything... to think that this woman is playing games with us on 2 little wonders is absurd....... right???



So she has another appointment without telling us about it and I'm starting to get very frustrated. Aren't these babies suppose to be ours?? And we're missing everything! I go back to the pictures... because it's all I have online. She told me she would send us the originals but it's been 2 weeks now and nothing has surfaced.



I call the hospital and there is no "dr. Martin" that works there.



What?!?!? Wait! there has to be! why would she lie to us??



We set up a date to "bond" with her and the babies (now there is 2 remember) and we ask her to give us a pregancy test. I want it for my scrapbook and I want it for peice of mind. She says sure I can do that for you.... I'll let you know when I have to pee. Well bathroom time never comes.... but a migraine does. A migraine so bad she cannot get off the couch. She tells us she's been having these since she was 10 years old. One reason why she doesn't think she can have the babies and why she couldn't keep her first 2 children.



So here we are devasted... does she understand what this is doing to us and our relationship?



She still swears she's pregnant but now she wants to raise the babies with her husband that she married while he was in prison and is still in prison. He told her he was getting an appeal and would help her.



I need some advice on what to do. We went to the courts and filed a paternity order but the clerk said it would probably be thrown out since she hasn't had the child(ren) yet. But what else can we do?? What if she is pregnant and tries to give them up since we haven't been haveing contact with her?



We have been hurt so badly over this I've been thinking that if she isn't pregnant I'm going to sue her for emotional damage. But is that even a case?? No one should ever be allowed to hurt someone else like this.



Thanks for the read and any advice.....

Fierce Mama 1 child; Houston, Texas 74725 posts
Mar 30th '09

so is she lying or....not?

. , Richmond, VA, United States 75120 posts
Mar 30th '09

The only thing you can do is wait for the children to be born, if she is actually pregnant? (I got a little confused lol). And your SO can file for custody. There's nothing else you can do if she changed her mind.

CP +2 TTC since Aug 2013; 2 kids; Texas 2015 posts
Mar 30th '09

Wow. I really hope she isn't lying to you. Was she showing when you went to her house?

♥Amanda♥ 17 kids; Toronto, Ontario 18467 posts
Mar 30th '09

How far along is she suppose to be?

lilg'smomma 1 child; Florida 109 posts
Mar 30th '09

Man-get rid of this boyfriend that cheated on you and all the losers that come along in that package!! I'm sure you can do way better!

Nicole Mclovin 3 kids; Colorado 2784 posts
Mar 30th '09

i didnt read the whole thing.


but theres is no way in hell i would adopt a baby with that man!

Rette Mich 1 child; Texas 27612 posts
Mar 30th '09

Ok wait. You said at the start that she said that she was expecting a baby in August and then you just pop in there and say that its twins. I got pretty confused. Maybe you should say that they found out that it was twins. And just for that thought how did she know if she never provided proof that she had a sono?

Beauty and Grace 2 kids; Chicago, Illinois 259 posts
Mar 30th '09

wow!...thats sick and sad. I hope and pray that she is not playing games with being pregnant. I think she is just playing stupid :evil: mind games!!! Some people are just so loserific!!!!!:roll::evil::(

BazingaMama 3 kids; Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 1732 posts
Mar 30th '09

if she is due the start of august, she shall be around 22 weeks pregnant ( as im 20 weeks just now and im due middle of august) and im showing, and if she pregnant with twins, she should be showing a bump of some sort.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55996 posts
Mar 30th '09
Quoting Givenagiftoflove85:
♥Briea♥ 2 kids; San Antonio, Texas 4524 posts
Mar 30th '09
Quoting ♥KAM's Mommy♥:
Rette Mich 1 child; Texas 27612 posts
Mar 30th '09
Quoting no longer empty arms:
Givenagiftoflove85 Ithaca, New York 174 posts
Mar 30th '09

When we got the sonogram in an E-mail it said it was twins... that's how we found out...



I know my boyfriend made a mistake... he thought some things that weren't true... he's not like that and is normally a wonderful boyfriend.



We don't know anymore about anything. We fought with her and we aren't really trying to get hurt anymore than we already have.



But if my boyfriend is gonna be a dad we need to know!

Nicole Mclovin 3 kids; Colorado 2784 posts
Mar 30th '09
Quoting lil g's momma: