So, as many of you know, I had an "intuition" last night that something was off...something was not quite right. Well, that's to put it mildly.
I called my doc, and she referred me to the local hospital...she, too, said that it wouldn't hurt to get checked out if I feel like something is wrong. Worst case scenario, I'd be sent home with the peace of mind that I have an over-active brain. Too bad that wasn't the case.
I tried unsuccessfully to tell the on-call nurses and docs what I was feeling ... to no avail. However, I must have said something that struck a cord, as I had an ultrasound ordered last night.
It turns out that the babies haven't developed passed 8.5 weeks ... as you know, I should be 12.5 weeks along. What a crushing blow to my everything: my mind, body, heart, and soul.
I got a shot of methotrexate to "induce" the miscarriage of my angels around 11:30 PM. I was told that because I'm so far along, or supposed to be, that it may not dissolve everything completely, and I'll most likely need a d & c. I have to get my betas checked every other day ... and the wait began.
I went to work today, and obviously my mind was everywhere but on work. However, I am not someone to sit around to wait for the inevitable. By the time I left work, I was feeling this sharp pain in my back, and it worsened every time I inhaled. I called the doc, and they told me that it is a form of "contraction" that I'm feeling, and the miscarriage will begin within a few hours. It's been a couple hours since then, and I'm starting to get some God-awful cramps, and I've started spotting.
My worst nightmare has come true. I never, ever, in a million years thought I would ever "bury" another of my beautiful children, let alone two ... at one time. My heart aches, my mind is running.
Needless to say, I am emotionally and physically drained. Mike is holding up quite well ... although he is crushed, he is being my rock right now. In addition, I have a friend [she knows who she is] who has been unbelievably supportive. I haven't had a "girlfriend" as good as she is to me in many, many years.
i am so sorry for your loss mama!!!!!!
Keep your head up!!!
I am so sorry you are going though this. (((Hugs)))
so sorry for your lost
Im so sorry be strong (*Hugs*)
Thank you ladies. I can't believe how supportive EVERYONE has been.
Sorry for your loss... :(
so sorry for your loss!!!!
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You'll be in my thoughts, hun.
I am so sorry to hear that hun...im here if you need to talk and im keeping you in my thoughts...
My heart feels soo sad for you :(