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Mother-in-Law says C-Section is easy way out... s.daud Due April 3; 3 kids; Hamburg, Germany 2049 posts
Sep 14th

So I'm having my 4th child, due April 3, 2020, but I will be having a c-section at 39 weeks the latest.  My previous children have all been born via emergency c-section, so it's not something I chose.  My mother-in-law was asking me when I'm due, and I told her what I just said above.  She had a audacity to say, "Oh you have the easy way out.  You dont even know the pain of childbirth.  Plus children born via c-section dont have the same connection as those born naturally."  I felt so sad.  How can a woman say that?  How can a woman who's also a mother say these kind of things?  I just needed to vent somewhere...so I thought I'd post here.

SomeMommy Due June 18; 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Chicago, IL, United States 73990 posts
Sep 14th

Quoting s.daud:
So I'm having my 4th child, due April 3, 2020, but I will be having a c-section at 39 weeks the latest.  My previous children have all been born via emergency c-section, so it's not something I chose.  My mother-in-law was asking me when I'm due, and I told her what I just said above.  She had a audacity to say, "Oh you have the easy way out.  You dont even know the pain of childbirth.  Plus children born via c-section dont have the same connection as those born naturally."  I felt so sad.  How can a woman say that?  How can a woman who's also a mother say these kind of things?  I just needed to vent somewhere...so I thought I'd post here.


Congrats on your baby! I just had my 4th c-section (5th baby-I had twins in 2009) and it's the only way I've given birth. She's lost her mind. Honestly, I would have gone off on her because that would have pissed me off enough to do so but at the same time, you just have to let it go sometimes. You know you go through plenty of pain and your kids have great connection with you still. There's just some people in this world who shit stupid out their mouths. Don't let it bother you anymore from here.
Have you looked into a gentle c-section? This is a scheduled c-section so it should be a much better experience than an emergency c-section anyways but if you can get your OB on board with some of the things they do for a "gentle" c-section, you'll be happy. I did this with my son in 2017, minus the clear drape, and it was a wonderful birth experience...I was set to do the same thing with my last baby in June but things went a little wrong and I had to be put under so I couldn't hold her right away. Still, as soon as I was alert and able to hold her, I did and when I came to, husband was sitting right next to me with baby girl in his arms. 

C-section moms are bad ass. If anyone has it easy, it's laboring moms because while it's a hard process to birth a child, the pain doesn't last. C-section moms feel pain for weeks, months or longer. We deal with lingering issues and have a higher risk of dealing with problems. I suffered a pulmonary embolism with this last c-section. Not sure if it's 100% related to the surgery but it makes sense that it was due to having a c-section. Birthing babies, naturally or by c-section, isn't easy so I hate that we have mothers out there separating us, saying one way is tougher than the other or better than the other. We all just brought LIFE into this world by sacrificing our bodies!! That's amazing and we should support each other and the ways we manage to get our babies here.

tinana+3 3 kids; Orlando, FL, Virgin Islands 48276 posts
Sep 14th

Quoting s.daud:
So I'm having my 4th child, due April 3, 2020, but I will be having a c-section at 39 weeks the latest.  My previous children have all been born via emergency c-section, so it's not something I chose.  My mother-in-law was asking me when I'm due, and I told her what I just said above.  She had a audacity to say, "Oh you have the easy way out.  You dont even know the pain of childbirth.  Plus children born via c-section dont have the same connection as those born naturally."  I felt so sad.  How can a woman say that?  How can a woman who's also a mother say these kind of things?  I just needed to vent somewhere...so I thought I'd post here.


Your mother in law is an a*****e. 

So is mine, which is why I don’t talk to her LOL.

3 c sections here and I’m forever in hopes of a vbac but I had tons of pain and my children had no problem connecting and bonding with me. She’s wrong. 

s.daud Due April 3; 3 kids; Hamburg, Germany 2049 posts
Sep 14th

Quoting SomeMommy:

Congrats on your baby! I just had my 4th c-section (5th baby-I had twins in 2009) and it's the only way I've given birth. She's lost her mind. Honestly, I would have gone off on her because that would have pissed me off enough to do so but at the same time, you just have to let it go sometimes. You know you go through plenty of pain and your kids have great connection with you still. There's just some people in this world who shit stupid out their mouths. Don't let it bother you anymore from here.
Have you looked into a gentle c-section? This is a scheduled c-section so it should be a much better experience than an emergency c-section anyways but if you can get your OB on board with some of the things they do for a "gentle" c-section, you'll be happy. I did this with my son in 2017, minus the clear drape, and it was a wonderful birth experience...I was set to do the same thing with my last baby in June but things went a little wrong and I had to be put under so I couldn't hold her right away. Still, as soon as I was alert and able to hold her, I did and when I came to, husband was sitting right next to me with baby girl in his arms. 

C-section moms are bad ass. If anyone has it easy, it's laboring moms because while it's a hard process to birth a child, the pain doesn't last. C-section moms feel pain for weeks, months or longer. We deal with lingering issues and have a higher risk of dealing with problems. I suffered a pulmonary embolism with this last c-section. Not sure if it's 100% related to the surgery but it makes sense that it was due to having a c-section. Birthing babies, naturally or by c-section, isn't easy so I hate that we have mothers out there separating us, saying one way is tougher than the other or better than the other. We all just brought LIFE into this world by sacrificing our bodies!! That's amazing and we should support each other and the ways we manage to get our babies here.


Thank you so much for your kind words!  ❤ u brought tears to my eyes!  I dont understand this divide either!  I also dont understand the divide between breastfeeding and bottle feeding.  It just doesnt work for some people.  Why else were there wet nurses in the olden days?  My first was an emergency because of fetal distress.  My second and third were supposed to be "gentle" sections, I was given a date to come in.  But both times I had pain in my scar and uterine rupture was a risk, so that's why both my boys are born 4 and 5 weeks earlier.  I hope I can keep this one in as long as possible!  Again thank you so much for your kind words!


s.daud Due April 3; 3 kids; Hamburg, Germany 2049 posts
Sep 14th

Quoting tinana+3:

Your mother in law is an a*****e. 

So is mine, which is why I don’t talk to her LOL.

3 c sections here and I’m forever in hopes of a vbac but I had tons of pain and my children had no problem connecting and bonding with me. She’s wrong. 


Thank you so much for your kind words!  I know what u mean with mils, but I really am the kind of person who tries to keep blood relations alive.  I dont want my husband to not see his mom or my children to not see their grandmother, because I dont want to be the reason that they dont see her.  I will always try to be the better person.  Just needed a place to vent! 

bia. Due December 26 (boy); 3 kids; ., ., Portugal 102616 posts
Sep 14th

I’m having my 4th csection in December, and have heard the same shit 3838 ignore that silly old bat, congratulations!