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Emergency advice please!! Jess081316 3 kids; Spokane Valley, WA, United States 871 posts
Jun 5th

Hi there. Sooooo I really need some advice. So my sister in law has been sent back to jail for the next year due to violating her probation. Her husband (the kids step dad) is also going back to prison in July for as little as a year maybe as long as 4 years not sure yet. For some crimes commited a few years back. My mother in law has asked my bf and I to take in my niece and nephew. They are 12 and 9. She said she would help as much as she could but she cannot take them in due to her living situation and just overall health. We have no idea what to do. I understand they are family and I love them. I feel bad they are basically losing their parents, home, school just everything. But I am already stressed to the max with our 3 kiddos (10, 5, and 3) and our dogs and its already a zoo here lol. My bf works hard to support us and works 6 days a week. So 90% of everything from taking care of the kids, house, dogs, grocery shopping, appts just everything falls on me. I keep thinking about all the extra cost that it will be for two extra kids. Food, clothes, things that come up during the next year. Christmas, birthdays etc. We do have a basement with the room BUT its loaded (and I mean loaded) with storage shit. You cant even walk down there. It will take weeks and weeks to clear everything out not to mention cost to make dump runs, get a storage unit etc. I feel like we are not going to have a choice. I wont let them go into the system. I am just so damn stressed out.

The Original Bob 4 kids; 4 angel babies; <3, CA, United States 38468 posts
Jun 5th

Thats difficult. I'm not sure what you should do. But I think the state gives you money to care for the kids every month, Not 100% though. When I was in foster care I lived with my aunt and I'm not sure if she was getting money but I know my other foster parents did. 

bia. Due December 26; 3 kids; ., ., Portugal 102552 posts
Jun 5th

I 100% would take them, I wouldn’t even think about it....! They’re your boyfriends niece and nephew, I’m sure the state pay you.

tinana+3 TTC since Jan 2019; 3 kids; Orlando, FL, Virgin Islands 48099 posts
Jun 5th

This is really tough for me. 

You cannot save everyone and you have to consider how it would effect your home life and most importantly your children. 

Its unfortunate that those kids suffer for what their parents did and even worse that they didn’t think of arrangements before their actions caught up to them. 

The grandmother can change her living situation and take them at least half the time before guilting you into it in my opinion. If she has health issues then she should worry about herself and not what she thinks you’re capable of. 

I would also be very surprised if you received money for caring for them. Unless you sue the parents once they’re released. Or if they already are receiving benefits then you might be able to transfer them.