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So very upset.... Mommy to munchkin 2 kids; 1 angel baby; somewhere, TX, United States 1635 posts
Apr 29th '17

So yesterday my mil picked up my daughter from the house when she got off work. Well I wasn't here my dh was. We had taken her carseat out of my car and left it here for the mil to use. I just went into our garage to get something and saw her carseat sitting there. My mil has a carseat but it doesn't stay in her truck which is why we had ours here. I asked my dh if the mil had her car seat he said no just a booster and refused to take the car seat. Well I was pissed my daughter is still in a 5 point harness because I know that's the safest for her and she will stay in it til she's too big. The law here is a booster is ok at 4+ yrs and 40+ lbs which my daughter is as she's 5 but she barely hit the 40lb mark a few months ago. I told my husband next time she decided she wants to take my daughter somewhere she needs to use the seat and if she refuses then my daughter isn't going. My dh can't stand up to his mother and it infuriates me. She does a lot I dislike but I won't allow it when it comes to the safety of my kids. Dh thinks I'm over reacting but I feel I'm very well with in my rights as her mother. Would you feel the same? Its not like I called her up and chewed her out I haven't even said anything to her. Or am I over reacting? Sorry this was long.

Mom2Kids United States 899 posts
Apr 29th '17

I'd be mad if she refused to take the car seat I specifically left for my daughter to use. She's going against your wishes as a mother, which I feel is wrong. Besides if it's safer for your daughter why wouldn't she want to use the car seat? 

...B... 5 kids; 3 angel babies; .., .., Christmas Island 1313 posts
Apr 29th '17

Honestly i would call her and talk to her about it, civilly. Especially if your dh wont say anything. 

fluffyruffruff 5 kids; United States 4722 posts
Apr 29th '17

Unknown id be angry... With both mil and dh. 

Mommy to munchkin 2 kids; 1 angel baby; somewhere, TX, United States 1635 posts
Apr 29th '17

Quoting ...B...:
Honestly i would call her and talk to her about it, civilly. Especially if your dh wont say anything. 


I'm going to today we are going to their house. I have no issue telling my mom how I want things done when it comes to the kids and she respects that and she's my best friend. He can't tell his mom anything I just don't understand it.

MommyBearTo4 Fenton, MO, United States 344 posts
Apr 29th '17

I have had this exact issue with my MIL. My husband reacted the same way. He simply didn't  react. He would respond with crap like, I survived as a child with her along with my brother. It made me so pissed. I refuse to intervene so I pressed my husband until he finally did something. He didn't want to say anything directly so he just began to walk out DS outside when mil came to pick up. He would bring our car seat with him and do it all himself. But it took another incident to get him to stand up enough to do even that. Our mil came to pick him up and had him strapped in, I went to kiss him goodbye and the buckle was so ungodly tight!! Like scary tight. DS was almost struggling to take a breath!  My husband seen it and decided to take over. 

.casper. 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Neverland, NJ, Christmas Island 2012 posts
Apr 29th '17

I'd say something to her, but I wouldn't be upset. She wasn't breaking the law and had her sat in a seat that she Meets the requirements for. She probably knew that and didn't see any problem with it seen as your DH didn't say anything. If you want her sat in a different seat, maybe make sure you're there next time she picks her up

bia. Due December 26 (boy); 3 kids; ., ., Portugal 102621 posts
status Apr 29th '17

Car seat safety is so important to me, I wouldn't let my kid go If she wants to be ignorant. Your husband also! Unknown

bia. Due December 26 (boy); 3 kids; ., ., Portugal 102621 posts
status Apr 29th '17

Quoting .casper.:
I'd say something to her, but I wouldn't be upset. She wasn't breaking the law and had her sat in a seat that she Meets the requirements for. She probably knew that and didn't see any problem with it seen as your DH didn't say anything. If you want her sat in a different seat, maybe make sure you're there next time she picks her up


A 5yr old should still be in a 5pt harness..

.casper. 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Neverland, NJ, Christmas Island 2012 posts
Apr 29th '17

Quoting bia.:

A 5yr old should still be in a 5pt harness..


Not here. Harnesses only go up to 18kg here.

eta, of course it's safer. Which is why I said she should have a word with her. But what she didn't wasn't illegal 

fluffyruffruff 5 kids; United States 4722 posts
Apr 29th '17

Quoting .casper.:

Not here. Harnesses only go up to 18kg here.

eta, of course it's safer. Which is why I said she should have a word with her. But what she didn't wasn't illegal 


Smoking inside with a minor isnt illegal here. Should i not care if my dad smokes in his house if my son is over? Its not about whats legal. Its about safety... And respect.

bia. Due December 26 (boy); 3 kids; ., ., Portugal 102621 posts
status Apr 29th '17

Quoting fluffyruffruff:

Smoking inside with a minor isnt illegal here. Should i not care if my dad smokes in his house if my son is over? Its not about whats legal. Its about safety... And respect.


Yep absolutely. 

If someone can't respect my wishes then you ain't taking my kid. Family or not. 

Mommy to munchkin 2 kids; 1 angel baby; somewhere, TX, United States 1635 posts
Apr 29th '17

Quoting .casper.:
I'd say something to her, but I wouldn't be upset. She wasn't breaking the law and had her sat in a seat that she Meets the requirements for. She probably knew that and didn't see any problem with it seen as your DH didn't say anything. If you want her sat in a different seat, maybe make sure you're there next time she picks her up


I couldn't be there I was still at work. I know what she did wasn't illegal and her 5pt harness goes up to 50lbs. I did talk to her and she said next time she will take the seat didn't know it was a big deal.