Reply
Trying again after stillborn Supermommy08 1 child; 2 angel babies; United States 606 posts
Apr 21st '17

Has anyone gone through this process? I'm not trying now as I need to heal from birth and heal emotionally. What scares me is ever having to do this again. My daughter was sent for autopsy and lots of blood Work done on me to check for reasons this happened. They said 40percent of the time they find the cause. I just know the next time I'll be terrified. My doctor says she expects that and it's normal and she would treat me as high risk. I can't imagine not having more kids but this has deeply scarred me. I just need to hear some success stories

SomeMommy 5 kids; 1 angel baby; Chicago, IL, United States 74008 posts
Apr 21st '17

I haven't been through any of that but I think what you feel is 100% normal. I pray you get your rainbow baby and that Hailey hand picks the perfect one <33

Just on BG, over the years, I've seen a few mama's go through this. Most are gone now but I know at least one is still around and I hope she has some advice for you.

Mother-of-four 4 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 1617 posts
Apr 21st '17

I had a 16 week loss and got pregnant with my rainbow baby 4 months later and have had 4 healthy children since. It is terrifying and I never did get any real answers, but I hope your doctors are able to give you some reassurance.
I wish you the best momma!

Bunni♥+4 4 kids; 5 angel babies; ., IL, United States 4196 posts
Apr 21st '17

I'm sorry for your loss❤ My daughter was born sleeping at 18 weeks. Not stillborn but the latest miscarriage I ever had. I started tracking my cycle after the pp bleeding stopped. Didn't think I could conceive bc of a short luteal phase. To my surprise got a bfp on my 4th cycle. I was treated as high risk bc of recurrent loss. I had more blood work done in early pregnancy, more ultrasounds and seen a high risk Dr as well my OB. My rainbow was born this January perfectly healthy! Not going to lie I was terrified the whole pregnancy. Didn't even set up the nursery until he was 6 weeks old. Pregnancy after loss is hard and scary but was so worth it to have him. He isn't a replacement for my daughter but a huge blessing. I still miss her dearly. She should be one this May. My best advice is to take it day by day. Seek counseling and have plenty of support during this time and when you get pregnant again. I am here if you'd like to talk! *hugs*

Mom life +3♥ 3 kids; 2 angel babies; Virginia 3265 posts
Apr 21st '17

I haven't been through this personally, but my friend had her daughter stillborn at 34 weeks and since she has had 2 healthy daughters. She got pregnant pretty soon after her stillborn, that was her way of healing. I'm sorry for your loss. 

Have Heart 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Western, NY, United States 9013 posts
Apr 21st '17

Best advice is to take the time you need to grieve your loss. There's no hand book, or special way how and when to do things. Best wishes momma, and lots and lots of hugs <3

bia. 4 kids; ., ., Portugal 102656 posts
Apr 21st '17

I know an older member on here, she had 2 stillborns, her son was 35+ weeks and her daughter was 20+ weeks, she went on to have 2 healthy baby boys! 

Ladiitt621 1 child; 1 angel baby; The Hamptons, NY, United States 1027 posts
Apr 26th '17

My heart breaks for you. I am trying not to cry reading your posts cause I am at work, but I can tell you there is nothing that is going to take away your pain. That hurt, that empty feeling. Questioning WHY this happened to you. I lost my little girl at 20+ weeks. I went into pre-term labor and my water broke and I had no choice but to have her. She was still active, heart beating, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to save her. They also did an autopsy and found nothing. There was absolutely no reason, no cause, no infections, nothing. My doctor basically told me it was bad luck. 
I wanted to have another child - but I am petrified. I could not imagine having to go thru this again. I do not think I have dealt with it well. I really did not have much support and everybody I think tried to act like nothing happened because they didnt want to hurt me, but really it hurts no matter what. I cannot pretend I didnt have a beautiful baby girl. I cannot pretend that I am her mother and I wanted her, I loved her, and I couldn't save her. I do not know why my body rejected her. I will never understand, but I know that I don't think I could ever want to get pregnant again because I would not even be able to enjoy it. I would be so scared every moment right up until she was born. 
My heart goes out to you. and I wish that you are able to heal and process everything. There is no greater pain in the world than losing a child. 

SomeMommy 5 kids; 1 angel baby; Chicago, IL, United States 74008 posts
Apr 26th '17

Quoting Ladiitt621:
My heart breaks for you. I am trying not to cry reading your posts cause I am at work, but I can tell you there is nothing that is going to take away your pain. That hurt, that empty feeling. Questioning WHY this happened to you. I lost my little girl at 20+ weeks. I went into pre-term labor and my water broke and I had no choice but to have her. She was still active, heart beating, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to save her. They also did an autopsy and found nothing. There was absolutely no reason, no cause, no infections, nothing. My doctor basically told me it was bad luck. 
I wanted to have another child - but I am petrified. I could not imagine having to go thru this again. I do not think I have dealt with it well. I really did not have much support and everybody I think tried to act like nothing happened because they didnt want to hurt me, but really it hurts no matter what. I cannot pretend I didnt have a beautiful baby girl. I cannot pretend that I am her mother and I wanted her, I loved her, and I couldn't save her. I do not know why my body rejected her. I will never understand, but I know that I don't think I could ever want to get pregnant again because I would not even be able to enjoy it. I would be so scared every moment right up until she was born. 
My heart goes out to you. and I wish that you are able to heal and process everything. There is no greater pain in the world than losing a child. 



Very Sad ❤

Mother-of-four 4 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 1617 posts
Apr 26th '17

Quoting Ladiitt621:
My heart breaks for you. I am trying not to cry reading your posts cause I am at work, but I can tell you there is nothing that is going to take away your pain. That hurt, that empty feeling. Questioning WHY this happened to you. I lost my little girl at 20+ weeks. I went into pre-term labor and my water broke and I had no choice but to have her. She was still active, heart beating, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to save her. They also did an autopsy and found nothing. There was absolutely no reason, no cause, no infections, nothing. My doctor basically told me it was bad luck. 
I wanted to have another child - but I am petrified. I could not imagine having to go thru this again. I do not think I have dealt with it well. I really did not have much support and everybody I think tried to act like nothing happened because they didnt want to hurt me, but really it hurts no matter what. I cannot pretend I didnt have a beautiful baby girl. I cannot pretend that I am her mother and I wanted her, I loved her, and I couldn't save her. I do not know why my body rejected her. I will never understand, but I know that I don't think I could ever want to get pregnant again because I would not even be able to enjoy it. I would be so scared every moment right up until she was born. 
My heart goes out to you. and I wish that you are able to heal and process everything. There is no greater pain in the world than losing a child. 


I'm sorry momma! I had the same happen with my daughter, water had broken and we watched her little heart beating on the screen but no amniotic fluid= no hope. I also never got any answers which made future pregnancies scary as f**k but I did go on to have 4 healthy children. 
Such a devastating thing to go through and you're right even after having future children the pain doesn't go away, my loss happened 10 years ago tomorrow and some days it still hurts as if it happened yesterday.

Ladiitt621 1 child; 1 angel baby; The Hamptons, NY, United States 1027 posts
Apr 27th '17

Quoting Mother-of-four:

I'm sorry momma! I had the same happen with my daughter, water had broken and we watched her little heart beating on the screen but no amniotic fluid= no hope. I also never got any answers which made future pregnancies scary as f**k but I did go on to have 4 healthy children. 
Such a devastating thing to go through and you're right even after having future children the pain doesn't go away, my loss happened 10 years ago tomorrow and some days it still hurts as if it happened yesterday.


Idk, I just cannot bring myself to be able to try for a pregnancy. The fear is so strong and I just know I couldn't handle another loss. I could never imagine a miscarriage and then to lose a baby that far along - after feeling her and seeing her - I do not think I will ever recover. 
Prayers for you on this day of losing your little girl. xoxo