Struggling... supermom(+3.5) Due March 7; 3 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 263 posts
Feb 28th '17

Today would have been my due date. I don't think anyone even remembers, not even my husband. I feel so alone. Any time I have tried bringing it up I just get told that I should forget it and focus on the baby we do have coming in June. But they don't realize that while I'm over the moon with excitement for this baby, that doesn't mean I'm not still grieving for the baby I lost. I relive that day over and over. And the feelings are just as real as they were that day. Being excited for this baby makes me feel guilty. I should be giving birth today, or sometime around today, anxiously waiting to see our beautiful baby. But I'll never know what he/she would have been like. It's such a unique pain you just can't get anyone else to understand... 

A week ago was also the anniversary of my grandfather passing away and the weight of both has been dragging me down. I had a dream last night that my grandparents were there and rubbing my tummy... feeling baby kicks. Except my bump was much bigger than it currently is. Like it would have been had I not miscarried in July. I woke up in tears...

i dont know what I'm looking for out of this really... think I just needed to get it off my chest. 

SomeMommy 5 kids; 1 angel baby; Chicago, IL, United States 74008 posts
Feb 28th '17

I wish I could give you a big hug <33 

I always feel like dreams where loved ones who've passed are in it is like a true visit from them. Maybe they came to show you they are still with you, watching over you and knowing your pain. I'm sorry you're being shut down IRL but BG is always here. I'm sorry for your losses. Time really doesn't heal.

Awkward 5 kids; 2 angel babies; St Cloud, MN, United States 4642 posts
Feb 28th '17

I grieve both of my losses on their due dates every year! March 21st, 2013 and January 2nd 2014. I stopped trying to involve others in my grief, I think it is just too uncomfortable for them. 
But, those were my children, that I love and still long for. 
I am so sorry for your loss! You'll be in my thoughts today! *hugs*

supermom(+3.5) Due March 7; 3 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 263 posts
Feb 28th '17

Thank you. At least through everything I know i have support here.  Bg really is a great place 

marmarissa 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Ottawa, ON, Canada 8256 posts
Feb 28th '17

I'm sorry <3

Jenn+5 ❤️ TTC since May 2017; 5 kids; 2 angel babies; Town you've never heard of, OH, United States 13470 posts
Feb 28th '17

I'm so sorry. You are right. No one truly understands unless it has happened to them. It's painful to know there's a baby that should be there, but isn't. So many hugs.

Hi_ImBob Due February 5; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Pennsylvania 2188 posts
Feb 28th '17

I'm so sorry you're so down. I feel your pain. I would have been going into my 3rd trimester around now and I'm still not even pregnant so I have no ray of sunshine to block out the dreariness of my loss as my due date approaches. I know the baby you're pregnant with now will never replace the one you lost but try to keep yourself busy with your upcoming arrival. Congrats on your rainbow!