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Really hoping for insight from parents with 3 children! Abigail_M Due March 22; 1 child; Massachusetts 129 posts
Jan 17th '17



Hello,

My husband and I have two wonderful toddler boys (ages 3.5 and 2) and we are constantly going back and forth on whether or not to have one more child. I feel like I'm going crazy with indecision and I am basically obsessed and thinking about it constantly. I am so terrified to take the plunge, but I can't let it go either. I know that no one has a crystal ball - but are there any parents out there who might have experience or insights to help someone in my shoes make an informed decision?! I am pretty overwhelmed with just the two boys, so three seems pretty insane to the logical side of my brain....but I still can't help but want one more. Especially for a few years down the road when our kids are older and we aren't in the "trenches" of baby and toddler years anymore. That is when I think I would really regret not having had a third, despite how challenging it would be. I also desperately want to experience having a daughter...but I really feel in my gut that we would have a third boy. I am a bit afraid of being sad/disappointed because of this - it wouldn't be fair to the baby.

Positives? Negatives? Anything I may not think to consider?!

Thank you so much for any insight you have to offer!

.Bubbles. 3 kids; United States 1718 posts
Jan 17th '17

Honestly, having 3 is pretty overwhelming, at least for me. Mine are 7, 3 and 1.5 and they want all of my attention all of the time. I can't do anything alone. I can't pee alone or eat without at least one of them hovering. I'm potty training one and the youngest is still in diapers, so I spend about 75% of my day dealing with bodily fluids (or so it seems). And taking them out by myself is quite a task. I try to be attentive and give them all equal attention, but I just feel like it's not enough, ya know? I'm stretched pretty thin. Some days I just want to run away. I don't know how mothers of 4+ do it. I wouldn't be able to. It's been wonderful, though. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Hi_ImBob Due February 5; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Pennsylvania 2188 posts
Jan 17th '17

Maybe if you waited a few years you might not be so torn? I only have 2 and we've been ttc for just under a year now. I'm not overwhelmed though but my kids are 9 and 5 so they're pretty self sufficient. In the event that I miraculously get pregnant the older kids week be 10 and 6 (or older). Maybe give it some time and enjoy your boys being babies for now and try in a year or 2. (One nice thing about my kids age gap was enjoying babyhood for each of them one at a time).

bia. 4 kids; ., ., Portugal 102639 posts
Jan 17th '17

Quoting .Bubbles.:
Honestly, having 3 is pretty overwhelming, at least for me. Mine are 7, 3 and 1.5 and they want all of my attention all of the time. I can't do anything alone. I can't pee alone or eat without at least one of them hovering. I'm potty training one and the youngest is still in diapers, so I spend about 75% of my day dealing with bodily fluids (or so it seems). And taking them out by myself is quite a task. I try to be attentive and give them all equal attention, but I just feel like it's not enough, ya know? I'm stretched pretty thin. Some days I just want to run away. I don't know how mothers of 4+ do it. I wouldn't be able to. It's been wonderful, though. I wouldn't trade it for anything.


Yep thank you, it's over whelming for me some days as well, my kids are 9 (well, in a few weeks lol) 4 and 17 months! The older ones are fine, they don't require me that much. But the baby...oh my! Lol. It was much more over whelming when DD2 and DD3 were younger! I dunno how women do smaller age gaps than what DD2 and DD3 are! 38