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Court tomorrow- advice please ♡angel mommy♡ Due October 21; 1 child; 2 angel babies; somewhere, LA, United States 1032 posts
Jan 5th '17
I know this is a long shot but do any of you ladies have any experience with child custody and child support court and the other party refusing service by Long Arm Statute?
 We are scheduled for court tomorrow and I need some help. My Lawyer is looking thru books but if anyone has any personal  advice it would help so much!
 I need actual cases to get the judge to uphold the ruling without the other  party being there. We have been trying to serve him since July 3rd, 2013 and he  has avoided service every time.
 We have proof of his residency (florida voter registration is public  record) they tried to serve him papers on November 8th by certified mail, the  very day he voted in Polk County Florida using that address, So that in itself should prove  his address, or else he committed voter fraud. Right?

So my question is if your other party did not accept certified mail service did the judge proceed and was the ruling ever questioned?
Or do any of you know any case studies that would help us?
Grasping for straws here. Just sinve November 2015)  we have tried serving him 6 times, each time having to pay $400 for court cost, plus $75 for service fee, we just want to be done with this.


The Original Bob 4 kids; 4 angel babies; <3, CA, United States 38477 posts
Jan 5th '17

Quoting ♡angel mommy♡:
I know this is a long shot but do any of you ladies have any experience with child custody and child support court and the other party refusing service by Long Arm Statute?
 We are scheduled for court tomorrow and I need some help. My Lawyer is looking thru books but if anyone has any personal  advice it would help so much!
 I need actual cases to get the judge to uphold the ruling without the other  party being there. We have been trying to serve him since July 3rd, 2013 and he  has avoided service every time.
 We have proof of his residency (florida voter registration is public  record) they tried to serve him papers on November 8th by certified mail, the  very day he voted in Polk County Florida using that address, So that in itself should prove  his address, or else he committed voter fraud. Right?

So my question is if your other party did not accept certified mail service did the judge proceed and was the ruling ever questioned?
Or do any of you know any case studies that would help us?
Grasping for straws here. Just sinve November 2015)  we have tried serving him 6 times, each time having to pay $400 for court cost, plus $75 for service fee, we just want to be done with this.



He is clearly avoiding being served. Does your state have another way to serve him? I know in my state, if he is purposely avoiding it, you can publish it in the newspaper, or leave it at a relatives house and that would count as him being served. I would ask the judge if he could grant you another way to serve him, because he's clearly avoiding it.

♡angel mommy♡ Due October 21; 1 child; 2 angel babies; somewhere, LA, United States 1032 posts
Jan 5th '17

Quoting Bob Wehadababyitsaboy:

He is clearly avoiding being served. Does your state have another way to serve him? I know in my state, if he is purposely avoiding it, you can publish it in the newspaper, or leave it at a relatives house and that would count as him being served. I would ask the judge if he could grant you another way to serve him, because he's clearly avoiding it.



We tried having him served via family member (his aunt who he lived with at the time) She refused service on his behalf. She said she did not know him first then said he was in Florida  (this was before he moved to Florida)- his car was in the driveway, the car that was still registered in my name 2 years after the judge told him to get it out of my name. So when he didn't pay his insurance the flag went on me not on him- took me 4 months to get that straightened out!
This past year we tried having him served at work, he quit his job to avoid service.

♡angel mommy♡ Due October 21; 1 child; 2 angel babies; somewhere, LA, United States 1032 posts
Jan 5th '17

Btw we live in Louisiana, he lives in Florida now.

The Original Bob 4 kids; 4 angel babies; <3, CA, United States 38477 posts
Jan 5th '17

Quoting ♡angel mommy♡:


We tried having him served via family member (his aunt who he lived with at the time) She refused service on his behalf. She said she did not know him first then said he was in Florida  (this was before he moved to Florida)- his car was in the driveway, the car that was still registered in my name 2 years after the judge told him to get it out of my name. So when he didn't pay his insurance the flag went on me not on him- took me 4 months to get that straightened out!
This past year we tried having him served at work, he quit his job to avoid service.


Wow I would just ask to serve him through publication. Which is putting an ad in the newspaper. You have proof he's in Florida so I would just go with that. That should be enough and then when he doesn't show, it will default to you and no matter where he runs he won't be able to avoid paying child support. 

♡angel mommy♡ Due October 21; 1 child; 2 angel babies; somewhere, LA, United States 1032 posts
Jan 5th '17

Quoting Bob Wehadababyitsaboy:

Wow I would just ask to serve him through publication. Which is putting an ad in the newspaper. You have proof he's in Florida so I would just go with that. That should be enough and then when he doesn't show, it will default to you and no matter where he runs he won't be able to avoid paying child support. 



I wish that were the case, we have an established child support order, we are just trying to establish the arrears.
And Custody, as it is now, we don't have a permanent custody agreement (he doesn't ever see her- his choice, but honestly that  is a good thing)
I just need something in writing so that we can travel and live our lives, as it is now, I have to get permission before we can even leave the state to travel. It sucks, we had an opportunity to go to Thailand and all we had to pay was the flight, but we couldn't go because I can't get her a passport.

The Original Bob 4 kids; 4 angel babies; <3, CA, United States 38477 posts
Jan 5th '17

Quoting ♡angel mommy♡:


I wish that were the case, we have an established child support order, we are just trying to establish the arrears.
And Custody, as it is now, we don't have a permanent custody agreement (he doesn't ever see her- his choice, but honestly that  is a good thing)
I just need something in writing so that we can travel and live our lives, as it is now, I have to get permission before we can even leave the state to travel. It sucks, we had an opportunity to go to Thailand and all we had to pay was the flight, but we couldn't go because I can't get her a passport.


If he doesn't ever see her or call her can you claim abandonment?

♡angel mommy♡ Due October 21; 1 child; 2 angel babies; somewhere, LA, United States 1032 posts
Jan 5th '17

Quoting Bob Wehadababyitsaboy:

If he doesn't ever see her or call her can you claim abandonment?



we tried, and they said that we didn't have sufficient proof that he abandoned her.
IDK what the heck that means. We had his facebook profile showing he was in Canada on vacation, going to concerts in New Orleans (only a few hours from us, but he never came see her), Houston, his moms house in Galveston, he was traveling all over, but claimed he couldn't afford to come see her...
How is that not proof of abandonment, that he could afford to go to Canada for 5 weeks, but couldn't come see his child while he was already in the state?

My husband wants to adopt her, let the dead beat live his life, and we live ours. We just need the judge to sign off :(

♡angel mommy♡ Due October 21; 1 child; 2 angel babies; somewhere, LA, United States 1032 posts
Jan 5th '17

Since May 2014 he may have seen her 10 times, all were supervised but one, and that one he left her alone in a hotel room.
He is supposed to have scheduled phone calls every night, in the last year he has made 6. Only around a holiday or his birthday when he was with a group of people and wanted to show off.
Its sad, he didn't even know what grade she was in, he had to ask...

The Original Bob 4 kids; 4 angel babies; <3, CA, United States 38477 posts
Jan 5th '17

Quoting ♡angel mommy♡:


we tried, and they said that we didn't have sufficient proof that he abandoned her.
IDK what the heck that means. We had his facebook profile showing he was in Canada on vacation, going to concerts in New Orleans (only a few hours from us, but he never came see her), Houston, his moms house in Galveston, he was traveling all over, but claimed he couldn't afford to come see her...
How is that not proof of abandonment, that he could afford to go to Canada for 5 weeks, but couldn't come see his child while he was already in the state?

My husband wants to adopt her, let the dead beat live his life, and we live ours. We just need the judge to sign off :(


Oh wow, the case that I know about involved my cousin. The father had the kids and claimed CS on her, so they went to court and because there was domestic violence going on on her part, the judge granted all custody to the father. He could even move out of state or country and my cousin had to have supervised visits. She's now trying to go back to court, cause the father moved like 1200 miles away and it's hard for her to see her kids. But she's getting no where with the court system. It's so sad. 

♡angel mommy♡ Due October 21; 1 child; 2 angel babies; somewhere, LA, United States 1032 posts
Jan 5th '17

Quoting Bob Wehadababyitsaboy:

Oh wow, the case that I know about involved my cousin. The father had the kids and claimed CS on her, so they went to court and because there was domestic violence going on on her part, the judge granted all custody to the father. He could even move out of state or country and my cousin had to have supervised visits. She's now trying to go back to court, cause the father moved like 1200 miles away and it's hard for her to see her kids. But she's getting no where with the court system. It's so sad. 



I wish her dad would at least try, he moved 12 hours away, and hasn't seen her since last april, and that's when the hotel situation happened.

I just talked to the legal assistance at my attorney's office and I think with the amount of paperwork we have that we should be able to proceed.
Wish us luck! I have facebook post where him and his gf bought the house, and used pictures from the realtors site, tracked down the realtor and printed off the listing which has the address on it.
Also have the Florida voters registration info showing that is his address.
Google street view with his car parked in the driveway in front of the house (this is awesome BTW!!)
Plus I have other papers with his address.

Hoping that's enough, plus I found some cases with the ruling being upheld because they did serve to the correct address, the other party just failed to pick up the papers.
PRAY this works!

The Original Bob 4 kids; 4 angel babies; <3, CA, United States 38477 posts
Jan 5th '17

Quoting ♡angel mommy♡:


I wish her dad would at least try, he moved 12 hours away, and hasn't seen her since last april, and that's when the hotel situation happened.

I just talked to the legal assistance at my attorney's office and I think with the amount of paperwork we have that we should be able to proceed.
Wish us luck! I have facebook post where him and his gf bought the house, and used pictures from the realtors site, tracked down the realtor and printed off the listing which has the address on it.
Also have the Florida voters registration info showing that is his address.
Google street view with his car parked in the driveway in front of the house (this is awesome BTW!!)
Plus I have other papers with his address.

Hoping that's enough, plus I found some cases with the ruling being upheld because they did serve to the correct address, the other party just failed to pick up the papers.
PRAY this works!


I'm crossing my fingers for you! Good luck!

Peter Pan 2 kids; Florida 3114 posts
Jan 5th '17

What about an affidavit of diligent search? I think it's typically used when you can't find someone but maybe look into seeing if it can be used if they are refusing service. Using this the judge can allow you to notify him by publication 

Mom2Kids United States 897 posts
Jan 5th '17

Trust me my ex has been avoiding service too and I know what you're going through. It sucks. Although idc because the longer he waits the longer she is with me and that's where she needs to be. I am just doing what I need to do as a mother and he can live his horrid life the way he pleases and I have hope that one day the judge will see and I'll get to keep her permently. This order we have now is temporary and he has to be served for it to proceed to see if it needs to stay in place or something else. my lawyer said they will either leave it at his moms house or newspaper ad and then after that if he doesn't show they'll go on with the custody hearing him there or not. if the judge scheduled a hearing for tomorrow then it'll be heared and the judge will decided. If it's not then it'll probably be laid over again and the judge could keep saying keep trying to serve or he could say come back on this day for the hearing. I'm not a lawyer so idc, I'm only going by based on what I have went through. 
Goodluck tomorrow!

trifecta perfecta 3 kids; Somewhere in the Stix, MA, United States 557 posts
Jan 11th '17

Any update?