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Funeral for a toddler (possible trigger) [M&N]'s Mommy 2 kids; United States 229 posts
Nov 29th '16

How can I mentally prepare for this? I'm so anxious I feel my chest get heavy thinking about it. I already decided I'm not going to view the body as you typically do. I may even just stand at the back of the church. Am I being irrational? I've never been to a funeral service for a child period, but the person is a very good friend who has been great to my children and I. I just want to be there for her as much as possible during this time...

OldSoulBeauty Due June 3 (boy); 2 kids; DipityDooBittyBopBop, WA, United States 4684 posts
Nov 29th '16

It is tough! My best friends daughter died at 3 and a neighbor i befriended passed early on too. I just would always try to go in to it remembering that the child is at peace and however you're feeling is very valid. Hugs to you all. 

fluffyruffruff 5 kids; United States 4727 posts
Nov 29th '16

Ive never been to a funeral for a child. I imaginr it would be very difficult. You're also a great friend for being there for support for her.

MrsKnowling 4 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 682 posts
Nov 29th '16

It's the absolute worse thing ever. my best friends little sister who was a baby at the time died of sids and it was the hardest funeral you'll ever go to. Just try to comfort your friend but don't do anything you're not comfortable with...

The Original Bob 4 kids; 4 angel babies; <3, CA, United States 38477 posts
Nov 29th '16

I would just be there for her. It is really difficult I don't think it's something you can mentally prepare for. My SO's 1 year old cousin passed away and it was hard to understand. 

browncrayon07 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Dixon, Il, United States 2329 posts
Nov 29th '16

I've never been to a funneral for a child. I can't imagine you can prepare yourself for it. I honestly don't know if I would be able to go. You are a fantastic friend for going. Just be there for her in any way she may need and you are comfortable with.

Double Jeopardy 1 child; 1 angel baby; Seattle, WA, United States 19389 posts
Nov 29th '16

I think the hardest part isn't so much the fact that the child has died, but the fact that the heartbreak the mother experiences is unbearable to the point where you empathize so much that you can feel her pain because as a mother yourself, you put yourself in her shoes. I went to a funeral almost a year ago. It wasn't a toddler. He was 21 (died on his 21st birthday). I didn't know him but I knew some of the family so I went to show my condolences. It was heartbreaking listening to his mom break down in tears throughout the funeral. But she held on pretty well.

[M&N]'s Mommy 2 kids; United States 229 posts
Dec 1st '16

Quoting Double Jeopardy:
I think the hardest part isn't so much the fact that the child has died, but the fact that the heartbreak the mother experiences is unbearable to the point where you empathize so much that you can feel her pain because as a mother yourself, you put yourself in her shoes. I went to a funeral almost a year ago. It wasn't a toddler. He was 21 (died on his 21st birthday). I didn't know him but I knew some of the family so I went to show my condolences. It was heartbreaking listening to his mom break down in tears throughout the funeral. But she held on pretty well.


This is exactly what it is. Im scared to see her face, Im scared I wont be "the strong friend" I usually am. We talked about our daughters and their similarities everyday. I dont want to make things about me but shit I know Im going to fall apart...I wont be any good for her. She loved that baby more than life, her only biological child.