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need to let it out supermom(+3.5) Due March 7; 3 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 263 posts
Aug 26th '16

I was going to post this on 4th. But I think I'm chickening out.. Maybe too personal. But I felt like letting it out somewhere so here it is..

Its been a month and I still can't let go. I should be feeling flutters, not feeling empty. Every time someone would tell me about a loss they've had I would always say "I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how hard that must be" even if I would try to imagine it. Anything I ever imagined was nothing compared to actually feeling it. Its not something you can fully understand until you go through it yourself. The guilt, the pain, the emptiness, the grief. Wanting to be strong, or at least look strong. But feeling so weak and defeated you don't know if you will ever feel strong again. Feeling like a failure. Let down by your own body, the one thing you thought you never had to question. We were so excited. So ready for another little joy to add to our family. People will say we can try again. That one day we will welcome another baby into our hearts and home if that's what we want. But it wouldn't change what happened. It will never stop me from wondering what might have been. Wondering who you would have been. Wondering if there was something I could have done. Wondering if this was my fault. I've been trying to be strong. Or at least look strong. Trying to pretend it didn't happen. That it was all just a really bad dream. Some days I'm okay. Most days I at least make it look like I'm okay. Hopefully one day I will actually feel okay. Though part of me feels like I don't deserve that. 

Jenn+5 ❤️ TTC since May 2017; 5 kids; 2 angel babies; Town you've never heard of, OH, United States 13470 posts
Aug 26th '16

Hugs. You are right, unless you've been there, you just don't know how lonely the loss of your child truly is. No amount of words in the world can help you feel better. Many hugs.

supermom(+3.5) Due March 7; 3 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 263 posts
Aug 26th '16

Quoting Jenn+4❤️:
Hugs. You are right, unless you've been there, you just don't know how lonely the loss of your child truly is. No amount of words in the world can help you feel better. Many hugs.


Hugs to you as well.. Saw your post this morning :(

Jenn+5 ❤️ TTC since May 2017; 5 kids; 2 angel babies; Town you've never heard of, OH, United States 13470 posts
Aug 26th '16

Quoting supermom(+2.5):

Hugs to you as well.. Saw your post this morning :(



Thanks sweetie. 

rrv071809 Due April 18; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 186 posts
Aug 26th '16

Hugs to you momma there are no words that can be said to make it better. The pain never goes away but time makes it not hurt as much stay strong sending prayers your way ♡

supermom(+3.5) Due March 7; 3 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 263 posts
Aug 26th '16

Quoting rrv071809:
Hugs to you momma there are no words that can be said to make it better. The pain never goes away but time makes it not hurt as much stay strong sending prayers your way ♡


Thank you