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torn FiasMomma Due March 28; 1 child; United States 7 posts
Aug 14th '16

so im currently 7 weeks pregnant. the babys father wants nothing to do with it. he ended up leaving me and getting back with his toxic ex, even marrying her. totally fucked situation. anyway hes told me if i have this baby he wants nothing to do with it and will deny its his even though he knows it is, to make it harder for me to get CS, plus hes moving back to AZ from NC to be with his wife. everyone is pushing me to abort. i know itsb in my best interest because i cant afford another baby by myself. i dont have family support at this point either. adoption is not an option for me. i couldnt go through 7 more months of having a baby in me, feel it, see it, then give it up. i have ungil the 22 to do the pill and sept 12 for in clinic. for those who have done it which is "better" how is the emotional aftermath

ILS♡ERS♡ZDS♡ 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Small town, PA, United States 2422 posts
Aug 14th '16

I have never had one. But your situation sounds like how I was with my son. But I was determined to do anything for him. I met my now husband when I was 8 weeks pregnant and he took him on as his own. Good luck with you decision but if your worried about the aftermath maybe abortion isn't right for you.

user banned 1 child; United States 82 posts
Aug 14th '16

You can only do what YOU feel is right. If you don't think you can deal with adoption and feel you can't provide then maybe abortion is the right option but it is no one decision but yours. Don't let anyone bully you into anything you're not comfortable with. 

user banned United States 185 posts
Aug 14th '16

You need to do what you feel is best for you. I haven't had to make a decision like this before but if I were in your situation I would try for the pill. That seems to be the less hurtful(?) Option imo. I'm sorry you are faced with this and hope you find the answer you need. 

~*~Cassi~*~ 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Bar Harbor, ME, United States 1560 posts
Aug 14th '16

If you have ANY doubt's, don't do it.
I was pressured into an abortion at 17 and I have days, almost ten years later now where I think about it and get upset. I let people tell me it was for the best, and in hindsight it was what best, I guess. I went to therapy for a while to deal with my feelings. 

I'm sorry your ex is a scum hole. I'm not sure how it works in your state but in mine if you apply for state assistance and tell them that the father is refusing to acknowledge his parentage they typically will have the court serve him with paper work to submit to a DNA test and work out child support. They will even withdraw it from his paycheck so he can't skip out. They don't take kindly to parents trying to skip out of parental responsibilities, especially when that means they have to pick up the tab. 

MrsKW 3 kids; United States 4579 posts
Aug 14th '16

You know you can get the court to order a DNA test and he will have to pay child support anyway. Dont do it, dont let anyone push you to do it. you sound like you want the baby. Something always works out and you and your baby will get through anything together 

Emma and Chloe's Momma Due February 24 (boy); 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Plainfield, IN, United States 12896 posts
Aug 14th '16

I was in a similar situation and I knew it would of been best but in my heart I couldn't do it. I asked the same thing about emotional aftermath and someone told me if you know you've made the right choice. In my heart I knew I couldn't handle it. I know it's hard but you will know whats right for you.

bia. 4 kids; ., ., Portugal 102656 posts
Aug 15th '16

Quoting ~*~Cassi~*~:
If you have ANY doubt's, don't do it.
I was pressured into an abortion at 17 and I have days, almost ten years later now where I think about it and get upset. I let people tell me it was for the best, and in hindsight it was what best, I guess. I went to therapy for a while to deal with my feelings. 

I'm sorry your ex is a scum hole. I'm not sure how it works in your state but in mine if you apply for state assistance and tell them that the father is refusing to acknowledge his parentage they typically will have the court serve him with paper work to submit to a DNA test and work out child support. They will even withdraw it from his paycheck so he can't skip out. They don't take kindly to parents trying to skip out of parental responsibilities, especially when that means they have to pick up the tab. 


Basically.