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Do you tell them? Awkward 5 kids; 2 angel babies; St Cloud, MN, United States 4642 posts
Apr 3rd '16

Brief recap of my last topic: My oldest has been referred to an Autism Specialist to be evaluated to see if he is on the spectrum. 

My question is at 8 years old if it turns out he is indeed on the spectrum so I tell him? And obviously explain what that means or do I wait until he is older?
I see bennifits and flaws to both telling him and not telling him. 
I was just a little older than he was when I was told I was clinically depressed and I remember it being a huge relief. I had always known something was "wrong" with me and I thought since someone else knew it now, too, I could get some help. (It took 20 years but I did get help).
On the flip side of that.... what if it makes him feel even less human than he already feels? What if knowing something is a little diffrent about him sends him into a deeper despression?
I don't feel like not telling him is really an option either though, he deserves to know why he struggles with some things more than other people do. And at some point he'll need to know anyway. If I don't tell him right away I imagine he'd be furious when he does find out. 
I am way ahead of myself in over thinking this. We know nothing yet besides he should be evaluated.  
I just always feel as though I should be prepared for what's ahead.

Me+ (3) 3 kids; Lima, OH, United States 2355 posts
Apr 3rd '16

I have a special needs child. We told him. He always knew he was different from others and asked why. He knows and is okay with it. When other kids tell him he's weird his response is always its my adhd (he has other special needs as well but that's the one he understands the most) and goes about hus business. 
We felt telling him would help him understand what was going on, why he was treated the way he was.. and so forth. It seems to help a lot.

Awkward 5 kids; 2 angel babies; St Cloud, MN, United States 4642 posts
Apr 3rd '16

Quoting Me+ (3):
I have a special needs child. We told him. He always knew he was different from others and asked why. He knows and is okay with it. When other kids tell him he's weird his response is always its my adhd (he has other special needs as well but that's the one he understands the most) and goes about hus business. 
We felt telling him would help him understand what was going on, why he was treated the way he was.. and so forth. It seems to help a lot.


Thank you for your response.  I think if that is the case he needs to know. He does well socially, usually, but has tremendous trouble with emotion regulation 

❤️E 3 kids; Somewhere, Tx, United States 366 posts
Apr 3rd '16

DS is only 4 but we haven't told him, he won't understand at this age but we do plan to tell him when he's older 

♥Jessie♥ Due June 14; 5 kids; 2 angel babies; Idaho 14910 posts
Apr 3rd '16

My daughter has ADD. We kinda told her. She is 6. She is medicated so we talked to her about how she has a hard time focusing, sitting still, listening, etc. and how the 'brain' medicine was going to help her with those things. She was so relieved and happy once she started talking the meds because she feels more relaxed and is happy she is able to do things and focus.