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in laws are telling me to have an abortion - and im keeping ToriJane92 Due January 27; 3 kids; Australia 180 posts
Jun 28th '15

Wasn't sure putting this in abortion survivors was the right place... so i put it here...

I am 6 weeks pregnant with #4. Baby was NOT planned and abortion was something I considered for like maybe 2 days. My partner and i have agreed though that we can do this and we will keep the baby. (hes booked in for the snip in september so no more surprise babies after this one!!!)

Problem is, my mother in law and her partner are chewing me and my partners ass about abortion. She said "I don't believe much in abortion but you guys have too many kids... i really think you need to terminate" and her partner (not my boyfriend's real dad) said "i dont even know why you both are contemplating keeping it - you MUST terminate the pregnancy there's no doubt about it"

A bit of background info - my partner works full time and earns 140k > per year. We have our own place, have cars, i am studying we do have a great tribe of kids already though (5 all up including step kids) and our youngest is just 4 months old. We are both in our 20s though and have our heads screwed on (no drugs or addictions) and I don't really know how to react when my in laws are being like this. My MIL's partner went so far as to say he was gonna invent some knee pads that made a ripping noise when ur legs open so u know to keep them shut...... he said he would make a lot of money.. i thought this was a horrible thing to say.

What can i say to them or how do we explain to them to f**k off out of our business? (but in a nice way )

Mummy-2-3-Monsters 3 kids; Seven Hills, Australia 15734 posts
Jun 28th '15

There is no nice way.. they are being f**king rude and childish towards you two. Tell them point blank....

"f**k off"

Mommie2be_ Due January 17 (boy); United States 106 posts
Jun 28th '15

Quoting Mummy-2-2-Monsters:
There is no nice way.. they are being f**king rude and childish towards you two. Tell them point blank....

"f**k off"


I AGREEE TELL THEM TO f**k OFF ITS YOUR DECISION NOT THERES!!

ToriJane92 Due January 27; 3 kids; Australia 180 posts
Jun 28th '15

I told his mother that abortion is just something I couldn't live with and that I refuse to do something I will live to regret. That it is ME that has to deal with this and that my partner had my back so "why not". I told her it was like nature saying "he's getting the snip soon, why not one more?!" I do feel that we could look after the baby fine, financially will be a stretch but we will work around that. I just told his Mother that I was keeping it and she kinda sighed and muttered some crap under her breath. Her partner was being a total prick about it though - telling me "oh it'll be just like a curette... there's only a few cells in there at the moment... just get rid of it or you'll ruin his (partners) life." and Im thinking f**k you c**t we already have a family... and f**k you its not just a few cells (even if it is f**k YOU) lol.... it really upset me. But i always avoid confrontation and I just walked away and had a bit of a cry about it. Now the whole family is talking and judging us because our last baby is just 4 months old. This is not an ideal situation - but i have my partners support... and we want this... so why cant everyone just f**k OFFFFFF??????????????? :( Sorry really needed a good vent

My Boys In Blue.<3 Due February 29 (boy); 1 child; United Kingdom 2357 posts
Jun 28th '15

If it was me id clearly say to them "if you don't agree with us keeping the baby stay the hell out of our lives and DO ONE & f**k OFF!!"...They clearly don't want another grand child so I wouldn't want them to be a part of that even of they did change there mind,they have made there thoughts pretty clear.!

.Housewife Due December 17; 1 child; 2 angel babies; Roma, La, United States 49163 posts
Jun 28th '15

Say I got one word for you "letitgo!"
-Reba.

They need to mind their own damn business. 

tinana+3 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Orlando, FL, Virgin Islands 48329 posts
Jun 28th '15

They're both rude and need to find hobbies.  In fact, I'd probably avoid them from now on since they have nothing nice to say.

J&L<3 2 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 556 posts
Jun 28th '15

Sometimes you gotta weed bad people out of your life, family or not. It sounds like they're a bunch of a*****es I wouldn't want to be around. Tell them to f**k off, however you want to phrase it for them, have a good cry and move on. I get that it's his family and it may not be easy. He may not want to cut them out of his life though. DH hates my mom (she's a bit of a c**t on occasion) and just avoids talking to her at family events. He doesn't go out of his way to involve himself with her but he's also not an a*****e...he found a balance that works. Maybe it's time you do the same with his family? I'm sorry though, that just sucks.

Drew90 Due December 28; 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Hodgdon, ME, United States 7424 posts
Jun 28th '15

Quoting Mummy-2-2-Monsters:
There is no nice way.. they are being f**king rude and childish towards you two. Tell them point blank....

"f**k off"



Exclamation If you're paying your own bills and supporting your children without assistance I would definitely just tell them to shove it

ToriJane92 Due January 27; 3 kids; Australia 180 posts
Jun 28th '15

All our bills are paid, our rent is up to date - we're actually planning on BUYING the house & adding on 2 more bedrooms. Our kids are fed, looked after and happy. I am coping fine and although we don't have a lot of support we have each other. His mum told me that his brothers ex "ruined his life" cos he had a basketball career going and she went and got pregnant nd didn't get rid of the kid... :/ somehow it was HER fault she got pregnant.... and his mother doesn't have anything to do with that kid and the kid is 11 years old. 

Mummy-2-3-Monsters 3 kids; Seven Hills, Australia 15734 posts
Jun 28th '15

Quoting ToriJane92:
All our bills are paid, our rent is up to date - we're actually planning on BUYING the house & adding on 2 more bedrooms. Our kids are fed, looked after and happy. I am coping fine and although we don't have a lot of support we have each other. His mum told me that his brothers ex "ruined his life" cos he had a basketball career going and she went and got pregnant nd didn't get rid of the kid... :/ somehow it was HER fault she got pregnant.... and his mother doesn't have anything to do with that kid and the kid is 11 years old. 


She sounds very immature .. she has issues. I honestly wouldn't want someone like that around my kids .. whether family or just an aquantance. That's toxic.

I've just recently cut my MIL out of our lives because she is favouring my daughter over my son.. she has always done this and I've had enough.

It sucks .. but it has/had to happen.

αͷtͷmnαƪ Hogwarts, .., United Kingdom 77417 posts
Jun 28th '15

I'd say it's time to cut them out of your family's life.

Masonsmami26 United States 33 posts
Jun 28th '15

Quoting ToriJane92:
Wasn't sure putting this in abortion survivors was the right place... so i put it here...

I am 6 weeks pregnant with #4. Baby was NOT planned and abortion was something I considered for like maybe 2 days. My partner and i have agreed though that we can do this and we will keep the baby. (hes booked in for the snip in september so no more surprise babies after this one!!!)

Problem is, my mother in law and her partner are chewing me and my partners ass about abortion. She said "I don't believe much in abortion but you guys have too many kids... i really think you need to terminate" and her partner (not my boyfriend's real dad) said "i dont even know why you both are contemplating keeping it - you MUST terminate the pregnancy there's no doubt about it"

A bit of background info - my partner works full time and earns 140k > per year. We have our own place, have cars, i am studying we do have a great tribe of kids already though (5 all up including step kids) and our youngest is just 4 months old. We are both in our 20s though and have our heads screwed on (no drugs or addictions) and I don't really know how to react when my in laws are being like this. My MIL's partner went so far as to say he was gonna invent some knee pads that made a ripping noise when ur legs open so u know to keep them shut...... he said he would make a lot of money.. i thought this was a horrible thing to say.

What can i say to them or how do we explain to them to f**k off out of our business? (but in a nice way )


You don't need to say it in a nice way. The fact that they are putting their two cents in means they deserve to be told to f**k off. Its your life, body, baby. Do what's best for you guys. Best wishes.

lotsamama 3 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 844 posts
Jun 28th '15

Quoting Masonsmami26:

You don't need to say it in a nice way. The fact that they are putting their two cents in means they deserve to be told to f**k off. Its your life, body, baby. Do what's best for you guys. Best wishes.


Yes definitely this........Sometimes in life you find that diplomacy isn't possible.  That's when you show them the same courtesy and consideration they've shown you and tell them to mind their own f**king business or don't let the door hit them in the ass on the way out the door.