:)mommyandmore(: 2 kids; Dayton, TX, United States 1943 posts
Nov 11th '14

Quoting CollegeGirl ♡ #9:

What am I jealous of? Batman, seriously. Your childhood was fucked, you have two baby daddies and you're single. You don't have a thing I want. 


Well, except for a brain. You are obviously lacking in that department.

Witch of the Wilds 1 child; Korcari Wilds, FE, United States 5629 posts
Nov 11th '14

Quoting JΔ$:

Sure you can and of course its not easy BUT YOU CAN. My husband emotionally cheated on me, mentally/emotionally/verbally abused me, didn't consider my feelings at all, disrespected me in many ways, etc etc. He's trash but at the end of the day, my ass loved him too. But after 6 years of marriage and two children later, I had enough. Yeah, I cheated. Wah wah. We were separated and the marriage (on my end) was done. It wasn't until after he found out about me and dude that he wanted to get his shit together but I was already fed up and over it. You can move on. I use to think the same way. Sad but I had to have an affair in order to gain the courage to end this shit marriage. Part of me can put myself in your shoes because I use to think that I would never find someone to love me or be in a relationship with me. I really think you feel like this dude is your only hope, he's not.



I thought I loved BD, but looking back I think I just wanted to BE loved. That's not a good reason to be with someone, or stick around trying to be. Sounds cliche, but gotta learn to love yourself. You're a wise lady Jas. <3

user banned Due June 19; TTC since Sep 2014; USA, US, United States 686 posts
Nov 11th '14
Quoting JΔ$:

Sure you can and of course its not easy BUT YOU CAN. My husband emotionally cheated on me, mentally/emotionally/verbally abused me, didn't consider my feelings at all, disrespected me in many ways, etc etc. He's trash but at the end of the day, my ass loved him too. But after 6 years of marriage and two children later, I had enough. Yeah, I cheated. Wah wah. We were separated and the marriage (on my end) was done. It wasn't until after he found out about me and dude that he wanted to get his shit together but I was already fed up and over it. You can move on. I use to think the same way. Sad but I had to have an affair in order to gain the courage to end this shit marriage. Part of me can put myself in your shoes because I use to think that I would never find someone to love me or be in a relationship with me. I really think you feel like this dude is your only hope, he's not.


Okay and I appreciate you telling me this but I have to learn for myself. I have to see for myself that's the only way I'll move on 

Hoof Hearted Due March 27 (boy); 1 child; Pittsburgh, Pa, United States 567 posts
Nov 11th '14

Quoting CollegeGirl ♡ #9:

I'll always be his child's mother


Correction, you will always be his child's mother, who has a vagina like an elephant's trunk. You really think he's going to want that thing?  Add that blown out sweat sock to the fact that you're bar shit crazy and see how long he keeps you as a hole to f**k. 

Witch of the Wilds 1 child; Korcari Wilds, FE, United States 5629 posts
Nov 11th '14

Quoting JΔ$:

Thanks girl and you're right, you really do have to love yourself first and foremost. Being with M DRAINED me. The situation is unfortunate, cheating is never OK but I would not go back and change it. People come into your life when they are suppose to, whether its long or short term, its for a purpose.



My marriage drained me too. I gave up myself and my happiness because I thought it would make him love me. My relationships have always been disasters (not just my marriage!) because I didn't love myself. I was so desperate to be loved. Then, I learned to love myself, wanted to better myself, was fine being single. I was excited for life. That's when I met SO. We have our challenges, but it's the best relationship I've ever had. We need each other in the right ways, not the co dependent ways. It's really refreshing!

ⓖⓡⓘⓝⓒⓗ 2 kids; Azeroth, .., United States Minor Outlying Islands 16415 posts
Nov 11th '14

Quoting CollegeGirl ♡ #9:

He's an engineer.. I'm not giving away too much of his info 


Shy

Witch of the Wilds 1 child; Korcari Wilds, FE, United States 5629 posts
Nov 11th '14

Quoting JΔ$:


EXACTLY THIS. Especially the last part. T and I don't need each other in a co-dependent type of way and that's exactly how my marriage was. He's like a breath of fresh air. My perfect blend of a sensitive, sweet, gentlemen and a flaming a*****e.



First relationship I've been in where he's legit my best friend. And not because it's something people say lol. We balance each other out, too. It's really nice. We've had our fights and our issues, but we work through it. Which is also new, now that's my breath of fresh air. He sucks at communicating, but I just have to be patient with him and we solve everything together. There's no giving up/giving in. There's no molding ourselves to be what each other wants, we just work. With BD, he expected me to change myself to satisfy him. And I'm not talking a 'hey, you need to clean up your laundry' type thing. He didn't love me at all. I did whatever he wanted all the time and got no thanks for it. He didn't have to be a parent. I did everything he wanted. That sucks. With SO, we do things because we want to, not because we're seeking approval.

I'm so glad you've found someone like your SO. You deserve happiness. You deserve appreciation. I don't think I was around when things got shitty with you and M. Or at least not when you were vocal about it. But I'm really, really, REALLY happy for you! I know how good the right relationship feels <3

Double Jeopardy 1 child; 1 angel baby; Seattle, WA, United States 19389 posts
Nov 11th '14

Quoting Morgue:


First relationship I've been in where he's legit my best friend. And not because it's something people say lol. We balance each other out, too. It's really nice. We've had our fights and our issues, but we work through it. Which is also new, now that's my breath of fresh air. He sucks at communicating, but I just have to be patient with him and we solve everything together. There's no giving up/giving in. There's no molding ourselves to be what each other wants, we just work. With BD, he expected me to change myself to satisfy him. And I'm not talking a 'hey, you need to clean up your laundry' type thing. He didn't love me at all. I did whatever he wanted all the time and got no thanks for it. He didn't have to be a parent. I did everything he wanted. That sucks. With SO, we do things because we want to, not because we're seeking approval.

I'm so glad you've found someone like your SO. You deserve happiness. You deserve appreciation. I don't think I was around when things got shitty with you and M. Or at least not when you were vocal about it. But I'm really, really, REALLY happy for you! I know how good the right relationship feels <3


That's how my marriage was too. It was like that even when we were dating. It got to the point where he dictated every aspect of my life, including how I do my make up!

My last boyfriend was on again off again for a year. He was my best friend. I told him everything and trusted him. We were completely different but I felt like we just fit. However, he has a huge communication issue and wouldn't stick around when things got hard. He never wanted to work on things. He split until things boil over and comes back (after he's dated other people). It finally ended when I found out about all the other girls that he was screwing with while he was still "with" me. I think the last straw for me was when I went and got tested and my test results came back positive for chlamydia. I confronted him and he had no idea who he got it from. It completely broke my heart. He broke my heart over and over again but whenever he wanted me back, my doors were wide open because I was so in love with him. I still am but I know deep down that it's never going to work and I don't deserve to be treated as such. I had more respect for myself than that. It doesn't matter how much I love him, but if he didn't feel the same way, it's doomed to begin with. 

Witch of the Wilds 1 child; Korcari Wilds, FE, United States 5629 posts
Nov 11th '14

Quoting CircleK:

That's how my marriage was too. It was like that even when we were dating. It got to the point where he dictated every aspect of my life, including how I do my make up!

My last boyfriend was on again off again for a year. He was my best friend. I told him everything and trusted him. We were completely different but I felt like we just fit. However, he has a huge communication issue and wouldn't stick around when things got hard. He never wanted to work on things. He split until things boil over and comes back (after he's dated other people). It finally ended when I found out about all the other girls that he was screwing with while he was still "with" me. I think the last straw for me was when I went and got tested and my test results came back positive for chlamydia. I confronted him and he had no idea who he got it from. It completely broke my heart. He broke my heart over and over again but whenever he wanted me back, my doors were wide open because I was so in love with him. I still am but I know deep down that it's never going to work and I don't deserve to be treated as such. I had more respect for myself than that. It doesn't matter how much I love him, but if he didn't feel the same way, it's doomed to begin with. 



I commend you for your strength! It's hard to come to that realization, but you chose to love yourself and not many people do that anymore. I'm sorry you went through all of that ):


I met SO years after BD and I split. Our relationship has taught me what true love is. He loves me as I am, and that's an amazing feeling

lauren Due February 19; 4 kids; Virginia 33499 posts
Nov 11th '14

Quoting Bawse:

Why the f**k did you f**king secretly TTC with him?????  


So f**king dumb 


BECAUSE BABIES FIX EVERYTHING! DUH!

lotsamama 3 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 844 posts
Nov 12th '14

Quoting CollegeGirl ♡ #9:

I don't? I know some people that have multiple babies with their baby daddy that was in separate relationships. I know some people that have broken up their baby's dad's relationships by telling the girlfriend she was pregnant again meaning they were still f**king around. It happens.


Damn girl.  You just got it all figured out then.  Happy ever after ending and all.  SMFH

Xavia Bustillos Due December 19; Fredericksburg, Texas 5 posts
Nov 20th '14

Just Let It Go ! Not Worth It! Time to grow up and file for childsupport your nothing to him but when he wants something... thats thetrue honesty of what you got yourself into their relationship is none of your business anyways bc face it .... shes bound to figure out or he will tell her eventually.... Hes just enjoying the fact he gets to f**k two girls at once bc you give him that privleage 

Mrs. Wilkinson Due October 24 (boy); 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Boise, ID, United States 182 posts
Nov 30th '14

I was in a similar situation with my BD. Keep in mind his daughter was being born as me and him were making our son. I had no idea. When our son was 4 weeks old I found out. He expects to have oldeest Childs mom and me stick around while his newest fling is due with a baby boy next month. Do what I did move on. I'm happily married and ttc with a man that truly loves me and my b

☆ The Flash ☆ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Quahog, VA, United States 7288 posts
Nov 30th '14

Quoting devinsmama:
I was in a similar situation with my BD. Keep in mind his daughter was being born as me and him were making our son. I had no idea. When our son was 4 weeks old I found out. He expects to have oldeest Childs mom and me stick around while his newest fling is due with a baby boy next month. Do what I did move on. I'm happily married and ttc with a man that truly loves me and my b


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