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How do you tell a new baby about your angel? Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 1 child; 2 angel babies; Las Vegas, Nevada 8884 posts
Nov 6th '14

The closer I get to delivering the new baby the more I've been thinking about how we can make our daughter a part of this baby's life. It has been 5 years since we lost Caydence and she is still very much a part of our family's life which I love but I don't know how to tell this child about the sister he/she will never get to meet. I know for sure that I want it to be SO and me who tells our child about Caydence but I am not sure when to do this and how to go about it. If anyone has any advice about how to do this I would love to hear it. TIA

Nicola. 2 kids; Manton, MI, United States 13426 posts
Nov 6th '14

I have not been in your situation but my cousin has. She lost her first baby, she was a stillborn. So when her son was born she just talked about Sarah being his older sister and that she is watching over him from heaven. They blow her kisses to heaven every night.

She just started from when he was a newborn talking about her and referencing her. He is 6 now and he talks about his older sister Sarah watching over him. It has always been normal for him to know of her. Though, I don't think he understands more than she is with him yet.

SpidermansMommy 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Ohio 6866 posts
Nov 6th '14

I have a friend whose son died at age 5 from complications due to Trisomy 18. 18 months later, she gave birth to a baby girl, who is now 3. They have always told Ryleigh about her brother Evan, they show her pictures and videos of him, and they visit his grave regularly, too. She knows she has an older brother in heaven. One thing they do is give her a Christmas gift every year from her big brother, which I think is sweet. (It's usually one of the presents she wants the most, too.) 

MrsKW 3 kids; United States 4579 posts
Nov 6th '14

my mom lost my older brother at 30 weeks. he only lived 8 hours. i guess my parents must have always talked about him because i remember it from a very young age 

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 1 child; 2 angel babies; Las Vegas, Nevada 8884 posts
Nov 6th '14

Quoting Nicola.:
I have not been in your situation but my cousin has. She lost her first baby, she was a stillborn. So when her son was born she just talked about Sarah being his older sister and that she is watching over him from heaven. They blow her kisses to heaven every night.

She just started from when he was a newborn talking about her and referencing her. He is 6 now and he talks about his older sister Sarah watching over him. It has always been normal for him to know of her. Though, I don't think he understands more than she is with him yet.



SO's younger sister lost her first child as well and has since had three children. They all know about their older brother but she wasn't the one who told her children about him SO's mother was. SO's mother did so against her wishes at a time when she felt that her children where not old enough to understand and this worries me since we currently live with SO's mother. As much as I want to tell this baby about it's older sister from day one my concern is that he/she won't be able to understand because of it's age. I have pictures of Caydence and I plan on putting them up so that the baby can see them and answering questions as they come but I'm worried about keeping things age approperate so as not to confuse him/her if that makes any sense.

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 1 child; 2 angel babies; Las Vegas, Nevada 8884 posts
Nov 6th '14

Quoting Spidermans Mommy:
I have a friend whose son died at age 5 from complications due to Trisomy 18. 18 months later, she gave birth to a baby girl, who is now 3. They have always told Ryleigh about her brother Evan, they show her pictures and videos of him, and they visit his grave regularly, too. She knows she has an older brother in heaven. One thing they do is give her a Christmas gift every year from her big brother, which I think is sweet. (It's usually one of the presents she wants the most, too.) 



That is a sweet thing to do and I would have never thought to do something like that. As of now I get together with my mom and other family members every year to celebrate Caydence's birthday and that is something I plan to continue to do while including the new baby into the celebration.

user banned f**k off, fl, United States 5174 posts
Nov 6th '14

I had a stillborn sister born when I was 2 years old. I've known for as long as I can remember. Even how she died (cord was around her neck and they caught it too late). We have a photo of her in the house.



I still visit her grave in another state over 900 miles away ever year. Her birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year too =[ 


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Rest in Peace, Little Sis

αͷtͷmnαƪ Hogwarts, .., United Kingdom 77417 posts
Nov 6th '14

I can't remember how I found out, but I knew about my twin brothers by the time I was five. My mom took my sister and I to their grave at least once a year and we'd leave flowers. Anytime I'm visiting family I visit their grave. I was there this summer and left flowers and a toy. I don't know when or how my little brother found out about them.

αͷtͷmnαƪ Hogwarts, .., United Kingdom 77417 posts
Nov 6th '14

Quoting HowtoCareforYourCermet:
I had a stillborn sister born when I was 2 years old. I've known for as long as I can remember. Even how she died (cord was around her neck and they caught it too late). We have a photo of her in the house.

I still visit her grave in another state over 900 miles away ever year. Her birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year too =[ 




Rest in Peace, Little Sis




That's the year my twin brothers were born. They were born in October. They were born prematurely.

user banned 1 child; Golden, Colorado 28482 posts
Nov 6th '14

Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:
The closer I get to delivering the new baby the more I've been thinking about how we can make our daughter a part of this baby's life. It has been 5 years since we lost Caydence and she is still very much a part of our family's life which I love but I don't know how to tell this child about the sister he/she will never get to meet. I know for sure that I want it to be SO and me who tells our child about Caydence but I am not sure when to do this and how to go about it. If anyone has any advice about how to do this I would love to hear it. TIA



I don't remember how my family really introduced the fact that my sister was a twin that died at birth and my Mom had many miscarriages between my sister and me. I know that when I was a small kid I did the "I dont fit in, my family hates me!" shit and my Mom said "You were the most wanted child, we lost 7 children to have you and you almsot died you were so sick!" I mean, it just kind of was always "there" about knowing my sister and I had siblings. We sometimes bring up about my sister being a twin, like asking if she ever feels like half of her is gone or feels odd, ya know? I think if you always bring it up in a way where its not like a bad thing... just something that happened and open for discussion then it wont be something your kids have to worry about, and have an open dialogue, ya know?