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I need help! .Jezebel. TTC since Dec 2015; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 10053 posts
Jul 28th '14

Tomorrow is my sweet DS's birthday, he will be two. I have a distant relative that delivered her son on the same day just hours before I did. She tragically lost her son in an accident. So, I would like to do something nice for her for tomorrow as I know that it's going to be a hard day. She's out of state so the normal hanging out or doing something together is out of the question. I was thinking about trying to find a poem for mothers who have lost children but I haven't really been able to find anything that's fitting. Any ideas? I just know that on Mother's Day no one recognized her as a mother. It was probably because they didn't want to bring up bad memories or whatever but I want her to know that just because she lost her son it doesn't mean she stopped being his mother or a parent. 

RJD5 Due December 30 (girl); 1 child; United States 2984 posts
Jul 28th '14

I'm so sorry for her loss! Can you maybe send flowers since she's out of state? And dictate a message on the card?

AshleyC Due October 16; 1 child; Baytown, Tx, United States 1270 posts
Jul 28th '14

Maybe you could write her a personal poem yourself? And include a little "happy birthday" thing in there to him. 

.Jezebel. TTC since Dec 2015; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 10053 posts
Jul 28th '14

Quoting RJD5:
I'm so sorry for her loss! Can you maybe send flowers since she's out of state? And dictate a message on the card?


I wish, with my DS's birthday I don't have the cash to send her anything. 

.Jezebel. TTC since Dec 2015; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 10053 posts
Jul 28th '14

Quoting AshleyC:
Maybe you could write her a personal poem yourself? And include a little "happy birthday" thing in there to him. 


I'm pretty creative but poetry isn't my thing at all. I did just find this one. What do you think? 

I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother,
And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother,
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied,
With confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish that I could show you,
What your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile,
With other children who say:
We go to earth and learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much,
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are Ok.
Your babies are here in My home,
They'll be at heaven’s gate for you.
So now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.
~Author Unknown~

RJD5 Due December 30 (girl); 1 child; United States 2984 posts
Jul 28th '14

Do you maybe have some pics of her LO that you could use to put together a card? Has the PP said, you could write your own poem. Or just speak from the heart

AshleyC Due October 16; 1 child; Baytown, Tx, United States 1270 posts
Jul 28th '14

Quoting Sara❥:

I'm pretty creative but poetry isn't my thing at all. I did just find this one. What do you think? 

I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother,
And I know I heard him say:
A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But, God, can you be a mother,
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can he replied,
With confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat,
And then I saw a tear.
I wish that I could show you,
What your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile,
With other children who say:
We go to earth and learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much,
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are Ok.
Your babies are here in My home,
They'll be at heaven’s gate for you.
So now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.
~Author Unknown~


Oh, that is a tear jerker! I think that would be perfect.

Maybe at the bottom, you could add a little "Happy Birthday Baby ______ "

.Jezebel. TTC since Dec 2015; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 10053 posts
Jul 28th '14

Quoting AshleyC:

Oh, that is a tear jerker! I think that would be perfect.

Maybe at the bottom, you could add a little "Happy Birthday Baby ______ "


That's what I was thinking too! I just want her to know that while I'm celebrating on this day that I'm thinking of her and her son as well. I just didn't want to seem insensitive or anything or make her sad. 

AshleyC Due October 16; 1 child; Baytown, Tx, United States 1270 posts
Jul 28th '14

Quoting Sara❥:

That's what I was thinking too! I just want her to know that while I'm celebrating on this day that I'm thinking of her and her son as well. I just didn't want to seem insensitive or anything or make her sad. 


That's sweet of you and I think that would be enough. You don't want to overdo it either.
And also, don't feel bad about celebrating your son! What happened to her son is terrible, and it sucks that his birthday was the same, but you can't feel bad for celebrating your sons birthday for the rest of your life, sad that her son isn't here to be celebrated. (Trying to word that so it doesn't sound rude or insensitive!) I can't imagine what she goes through, having lost her son, but I'm sure she has, somehow, learned to cope... so it probably wouldn't help her to bring it up a lot, either. Maybe that's why people just don't mention it much.

I think it'll make her feel appreciated, though. That's very thoughtful of you.

.Jezebel. TTC since Dec 2015; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 10053 posts
Jul 28th '14

Quoting AshleyC:

That's sweet of you and I think that would be enough. You don't want to overdo it either.
And also, don't feel bad about celebrating your son! What happened to her son is terrible, and it sucks that his birthday was the same, but you can't feel bad for celebrating your sons birthday for the rest of your life, sad that her son isn't here to be celebrated. (Trying to word that so it doesn't sound rude or insensitive!) I can't imagine what she goes through, having lost her son, but I'm sure she has, somehow, learned to cope... so it probably wouldn't help her to bring it up a lot, either. Maybe that's why people just don't mention it much.

I think it'll make her feel appreciated, though. That's very thoughtful of you.


Thank you! I hope she feels that way as well. :)