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Baby's father talking to another female 3 Kids 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Florence, SC, United States 310 posts
Apr 20th '14

I just found out tonight. I suspected it since last weekend. But it was just confirmed tonight. I couldn't stand the guessing game anymore. I went thru his phone and checked his call log. I saved the girls number in my phone and texted her. Nothing nasty. I'm not that type of person. Not off the gate. I simply said "Idk you. You probably dk me either. Since clearly Phil is a habitual liar. So apparently y'all have been communicating since the Saturday before the Tuesday we found out we're expecting our baby. Not that that makes any difference to the situation. I'm just letting you know what you're walking into. Relationship wise we are not together. But in a physical sense we are. I'm in the bed with him right now as a matter of fact. And I'm usually with him every other day. Idk how involved y'all are. That's not my concern. Long as you don't interfere with my child being taken care of you and I will have no issues. Long as you're not attempting to tear my family apart before the glue even dries you and I have will have no issues. So think about what you tryna do first before you involve yourself in this...I'm Newly pregnant. And we've been involved with each other for a while. So I'm not going anywhere. That was established before our child came into the picture. And it's only been reiterated since we've found out we're expecting. I'm just letting you know. So idk wha your intentions are. But you Enjoy your Easter sweetheart."

..Adele.. 18 kids; your moms ass, HI, United States 22698 posts
Apr 20th '14

If you aren't together then it's none of your concern who he's with and you shouldn't have sent anything to her. You should confirm your relationship with him before you go around doing things like that....yeah, you're having a child together, and yeah, you should've made sure where you stood with him because he can easily throw it in your face that you guys aren't set in stone no matter how long you've been together.

Squid Kid Unavailable, NA, United States 32450 posts
Apr 20th '14

You aren't together. You're not a family. You and your children are family, he is not part of your family.

You have no business caring about what he's doing if you're not together and why are you sleeping with him if you're not together? He is a grown man with no obligations to you, just because you're the mother of his child does not mean he has to spend his life with you. 

You have no business going through his phone ESPECIALLY because you aren't together. She's of course going to tell him, what do you think that is going to do other than make more issues for you?

[Mika] ♥ + 2 2 kids; Australia 2116 posts
Apr 20th '14

I think your totally in the wrong here. And the message you sent sounded really snide and bitchy. If your not in a committed relationship with him, then its none of your business who he talks to, and i think your totally out of line snooping through his phone. 

Squid Kid Unavailable, NA, United States 32450 posts
Apr 20th '14

Quoting Legendary:

Um the baby is the glue drying them together as a family. 


Can't tell if sarcastic....

She said they aren't together in a relationship. Unless that is going to change by "fixing" things with a baby,

Oswin Oswald Due August 5 (girl); 4 kids; 1 angel baby; adelaide, sa, Australia 937 posts
Apr 20th '14

i thought he doesnt even want the baby.. he probably just sees it as a meh

..Adele.. 18 kids; your moms ass, HI, United States 22698 posts
Apr 20th '14

Quoting Legendary:
Either way it made no sense to send that. Either you aren't together and him and her are or you are together and he's a lying, cheater you shouldn't want around your already born daughter.

I don't understand girls who act like that, you can't chase people off or safety patrol him into being loyal. You should want more for yourself, for your life.


Exactly. If a man can't man up and either be honest with you, especially with a child being involved, then he's not worth the time. If you've spent this whole time messing around and not doing it with serious intent on being together and you guys were irresponsible enough to get pregnant, maybe you should reconsider your opinion on what a relationship should be....and seriously, if your child who you have now isn't not his, then you guys have not been together for that long..

bia. 4 kids; ., ., Portugal 102643 posts
Apr 20th '14

Good lord, lol.

Soon 2 Be Momma of 2 2 kids; 1 angel baby; United States 307 posts
Apr 20th '14

You sounded bitchy in what you said to her. You shouldn't have ever went through his phone, never should have texted her. Now all this is going to do is cause drama that you brought apon yourself. Your not together so he can be with who he wants to be with as hard as it can be on you, that is life. You know she's gonna tell him so just brace your self for him to be mad

♥ Angel Due May 20 (boy); 1 angel baby; Fort Myers, FL, United States 9 posts
Apr 20th '14

As much as you want people to agree with you and see qhat you did as being the "correct" thing to do, most (if any won't). The truth is, you were out of line. It's none of HER concern that you (or anyone for that matter) is pregnant by this guy. The truth is, the baby doesn't glue you together as a family (who are you kidding with that nonsense anyway?) If the two of you can't work on a relationship together and mold it into a family BEFORE the baby then you're not going to be able to do it WITH a baby! I never understood why people like to cause drama for themselves. This baby has nothing to do with anyone other than you and whomever fathered it you can try and scare and try to run off whoever you want with "I'm pregnant with his baby" statements but amall your going to do is make things that much worse for yourself. Its not going to make him WANT to be with you. Its HIS decision on who HE chooses to "be a family" with, not anyone elses. Stop forcing your choice or poor judgement on someone else! Its not wise to try and start drama early on with your pregnancy anyway, I can assure you it'll only make things worse as you get further along. Instead of declaring to other women that you're "lying next to him" or "he's a liar" focus on YOUR choices. Have more respect for yourself than that, you're going to be a mother for goodness sakes.. if he's choosing to be with someone else, then its not going to work between the two of you. Instead of looking for drama, why don't you get yourself together and learn how to "co-parent" with one another? Stop making the pregnancy about you, and start making it about the baby. The fact that you're not in a relationship together and felt the need to snoop, find a girls number that he IS talking to, text her and explain that "you're a family" because you're pregnant may be one of the reasons he's choosing not to be with you to begin with.. I'm not sure who's all guilty of lying here, but by your own admission, you lied to her! 

Gotta learn how to grow up when things aren't going your way. Im hoping you're fairly young and will grow out of this mentality soon. Your child really is going to need both parents to be adults for him/her.. just because you're having a child with someone does NOT mean you lay claim to thwm, are a family, or that you're in a relationship with him. I'm not trying to be rude, but I just don't know what you're looking for any of us to tell you.. I won't and cannot agree with what you did. This baby has nothing to do with who he may be talking to or in a relationship with. No one needs to know "what they are getting themselves into" just because he is EXPECTING a child by a woman. Mothers and fathers make it work every day. Stop worrying about who he is with and worry more about who you SHOULD be with. If you choose to continue a hopeless fling with the father of your child, thats your own doing, and no one to blame but yourself for getting further involved in a meaningless sexual release knowing that there is no definite relationship title. If you were together then I could understand resentment.. but you're not, by your own admission..

mumof2boys85 3 kids; australia, vi, Asia/Pacific Region 817 posts
Apr 20th '14

I have to agree, Texting her and going through his phone is going to continue to push him further away. You need to talk to him if you are worried about the relationship you have with him and be honest about your feelings and if he doesn't feel the same, you need to move on.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5419 posts
Apr 20th '14

Congtratulations on making yourself appear delusional and desperate.  There is nothing for this woman to come between, you two aren't together.

Nicola. 2 kids; Manton, MI, United States 13426 posts
Apr 20th '14

Bottom line you were being catty, passive aggressive and trying to get between him and this girl. When you do not even know what they are to each other.
I'm not going to say that it wouldn't bother me because of course it would hurt. But it wasn't your place to send that. You aren't doing yourself any favors, either. You've probably just pissed him off more and annoyed her. If they are going to be together, which we still do not know, then later on down the road its going to make co parenting harder. Her first impression was of you trying to piss her off when you were the one out of line.


Heartbreaking to know that the father to your unborn baby could be with someone else but that is life sometimes. You're going to have to grow up dear.

spartanmama101 2 kids; Birmingham, MI, United States 41 posts
Apr 20th '14

I think that is a great text. To bad I wouldn't handle it that way:'(  I would be mad. I could never imagine going thru that. Hope all turns well!

user banned Due September 14 (boy); 1 child; Rhode Island 6726 posts
Apr 20th '14

Quoting spartanmama101:
I think that is a great text. To bad I wouldn't handle it that way:'(  I would be mad. I could never imagine going thru that. Hope all turns well!


Seriously? Her and this guy aren't together... She has no rights to him just because she is pregnant with his kid. He is free to text/speak/see whoever he pleases. This just makes her look crazy ans desperate.