Were any of you not ready to have a baby? Eva Marie's Mama 1 child; Albany, New York 728 posts
Dec 22nd '12

Or did you feel like you didn't want to have a baby when you found out you were expecting? But still kept your baby and are now a mom?

Before I was pregnant I always wanted a baby of my own, but still was happy knowing I didn't have to be responsible and that I just had to care about myself. When I did find out I immediately wanted an abortion because I did not want to be a mom already at 22. I felt like I still have so much living to do and a baby would make everything difficult. I didn't end up having the abortion because in my mind I felt that if this baby wasn't meant to have a life then I would miscarry it. Now I feel stressed because I don't deal we'll with change in my life and this is huge, I have tons of support from my family and friends but every once in a while I just still get that feeling like I don't want a baby now. Sometimes I'm excited though its like up and down. The baby's father is very excited but I don't think he really understands how big of a deal this is. So I was just wondering if anyone else feels or felt this way. And bc I'm hormonal I do not want any negativity. I'm already stressed and emotional.

*~AngelEyes~* 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 11214 posts
Dec 22nd '12

I wasn't ready to have a baby. Most definitely. But when I got further along, I got more excited about it, even though I was far from ready to have a baby. That's perfectly normal for you to feel that. Trust me, no parent is ever really ready for a baby.

MomNextDoor 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8351 posts
Dec 22nd '12

I got pregnant with my son at 18. I almost had an abortion, but changed my mind at the last minute. For me, it was the best decision I've ever made. My life would be nothing without my son, and had it not been for my son, I would not be married to my amazing husband. So, yes, I have been there. I didn't connect with him emotionally when I was pregnant, but the minute he was born, my entire life changed for the better.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44076 posts
Dec 22nd '12

It's normal to be scared. It's very scary to have your life changed forever. Being a mother no matter how old or how ready u feel is scary and hard. I adjusted well to being a mom but some don't. Just try to be positive and bond with your baby :)

Danu ♥ 3 Due December 17 (girl); 2 kids; Arlington, WA, United States 6622 posts
Dec 22nd '12

I was like this when I was pregnant with my daughter, and DH and I had been talking about having a baby. I thought that I would feel better after I told everyone but even after I had that "i wish i wasn't pregnant feeling". I don't think it was a bad feeling, it's mostly nerves, scared, and change. I had turned 20 a couple months before I found out I was pregnant and thought there was no way I could be a mom at that age. It went on through out my pregnancy. I'd get excited, then scared, then wasn't sure what I wanted. Even after I had her I had a hard time adjusting.

Now I couldn't imagine life with out her.

Amanda Contento Florida 2302 posts
Dec 22nd '12

I felt like this when I first found out I was pregnant at 20 with my daughter. I wasn't married but in a relationship for 2 1/2 years and he proposed. I was still nervous. A baby is a big change but we adjusted very well and added a son in 2011

Chuck Norris Due March 6; TTC since Jan 2013; 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Fairbanks, AK, United States 19489 posts
Dec 22nd '12

I definitely wasnt ready. I sometimes still feel overwhelmed, but I wouldnt trade it for anything. I love being a mom and love all three of my daughters.

LumpySpacePrincess 2 kids; New Zealand 17060 posts
Dec 22nd '12

I was 17 when I got pregnant I was not ready for a baby.

It's that whole, I would never change a thing because I love my children but if I could have my exact same children I have now but 5 years later in life ... Yeah I probably would.

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 23103 posts
Dec 22nd '12

Here's my story. I was raped on March 30, 08 by my only exboyfriend. I was 17, two months away from graduating. I found out on Mother's Day I was expecting my daughter. I had never had consensual sex so I knew that I got pregnant from that rape. I contemplated and contemplated for weeks. However I was 9 weeks when I found out and 13 weeks when I told my mom. Abortion was pretty much out of the question anyway. Since we don't have much of a place here in my state to get one. I spent many weeks on bedrest. I was 18 when my daughter was born. She passed shortly after birth.

I was not ready for being a mother. At all. I wasnt stable mentally or physically. I just wasnt ready. I was still a mother even though she passed.

Then when I was 20 I got pregnant yet again with my third pregnancy. I had a miscarriage that I was not ready for at all and it was a relief for a miscarriage. I was not ready for my daughter at all. To be a mother or anything. Well I decided to keep her. And I'm a mother today and very happy with my choice. Even though I'm a single mom

=^•^= NO, OD, France 36617 posts
Dec 22nd '12

You sound exactly like I was when I got pregnant with my oldest. I won't explain my situation because I don't like putting my personal situation out there and risk getting my ass chewed out for it.

I think if you are excited at times then things will probably get better for you.

TrollMama Due December 19; Beaumont, Texas 352 posts
Dec 22nd '12

I wasn't ready. I was paying 50 bucks a month to not get pregnant :D I had never, ever, ever wanted a baby -- just a career in medicine. I had no interest at all, and I was so scared that if I ever had one, I'd be just as uninterested in the real baby as I was in the idea of having one and I thought that would be the most cruel thing in the world, to have a baby just to see if I would like it (because everyone else was pressuring me that it was "time").

DH was excited but also not really sure what we were in for (he wouldn't admit it, but I definitely see it now as he cares for LO). My family has all been really supportive because they wanted that grandchild or whatever relation. I am happy to report that it didn't take me, personally, any time to become really attached to her. I sometimes look at her and think WTF is this for real? I am afraid of how this will alter my future, including career goals and my relationships with DH and friends etc. It certainly complicates things. I wasn't ready to have a baby at all.

Dr. Angelface 2 kids; California 8236 posts
Dec 22nd '12

i was not ready for this baby (my 2nd) nor was i sure i even wanted a second.

the timing couldn't have been worse. but i know my daughter will benefit from having a sibling so of course i'm happy about it now.

Gemmas mommy! 1 child; Deposit, New York 1893 posts
Dec 22nd '12

I wasnt ready. I was living out my partying days. All i wanted to do was have fun. I never wanted kids. I didn't even think i could have any thanks to a quack of a doctor... but as soon as i saw the pregnancy test that all changed. Im currently 34 weeks and i couldnt imagine not having my baby girl growing and moving inside me everyday.

Christina Tejada Due January 22 (boy); 16 kids; Fayetteville, North Carolina 158 posts
Dec 22nd '12

My husband & I got pregnant around Oct 2011 & had a terrible miscarriage Dec 2011, before we were married. I had such a hard time mourning the loss of that child that I was against getting pregnant again for a long while. Well, we were married May 4, 2012 & sure enough, a month later, I found out I was 6-7 weeks pregnant. I cried because I was horrified & didn't want to be pregnant at the time for fear I'd lose the baby again. But as my due date comes closer, I find myself loving my lil boy & dreaming of taking care of him. Though my first 2 trimesters were very emotionally difficult because I was still very ambivalent about being a mom & still had a hard time believing in the validity of the pregnancy. It's completely normal to be feeling what you're feeling & you'd be amazed how many mom-to-bes are exactly like you but once your lil 1 comes, all that will change & you'll be so glad you kept your baby. The rewards outweigh the cons.

Meli ❤ 1 child; Don't worry about it, CA, United States 31152 posts
Dec 22nd '12

I got pregnant at 21 (I am 22 now) and I was NOT ready for a child, I was barely with the dude & I was on birth control...I wanted to finish college & then think about kids, so yea it was a shock & I cried when I found out...I thought about abortion but I couldn't do it. My BD left me when I was 6 weeks pregnant & most women would of aborted with that circumstance alone but I dealt with the sadness of that too, I never saw myself being a single mom at such a young age, and raising a baby alone. It is hard but I love my daughter soooo much & I wouldn't trade her for anything. I do miss being able to do as I please when I want and it is hard to even go to school now because I need a baby sitter & have no money for one which sucks, I am slowly working things out day by day. It isn't easy but she is worth it. :) She makes my life worth living.