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WWYD? Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 1 child; 2 angel babies; Las Vegas, Nevada 8884 posts
Jun 20th '12

Currently my SIL and I are both in agreement that my brother is a jack ass. Last week we where having a discussion about her sister's oldest son who is severely mentally handicapped due to the fact that he fell (or was dropped) off of a railing onto his head when he was 4 or 5 months old. As of right now the boy along with his younger brother are in foster care and their foster parents are both doctors who specialize in dealing with handicapped children. My SIL really wants to fight for custody but my brother is dead set against it solely because the older boy is mentally handicapped. Both my SIL and I agree that his disability shouldnt matter family is family and thats all there is to it. My brother made the statement that he wouldnt raise a handicapped child because it wouldnt be fair to him. His thinking is that when you decided to be a parent your going into it knowing that you will be giving the next 18 years of your life to the child but with a disabled child you have to give the rest of your life to the child which isnt fair to you or any other children you might already have or might have in the future. So I asked my brother what he would do if god forbid something happen to one of his 4 girls and they whined up with some kind of disability. Without hesitation he said that if something like that where to happen he would either find a family equipped to handle the disability or put the child in some kind of institution. What I want to know is what would you do in a situation like this? Would you raise your child or would you find someone else better equipped to deal with your child?

That girl Amber +2 2 kids; California 6981 posts
Jun 20th '12

I wouldnt be having babies with that jackass, thats for sure.

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 1 child; 2 angel babies; Las Vegas, Nevada 8884 posts
Jun 20th '12
Quoting Amberchik78:" I wouldnt be having babies with that jackass, thats for sure."


I keep telling my SIL to leave his sorry ass but she cant because she loves him. :roll:

Cheesehead. Due April 11 (girl); 2 kids; Illinois 1672 posts
Jun 20th '12

I would raise my child disability or not, because that's what a parent does. They treat disabled people like shit in those homes. You can't just give up when the going gets tough. That's pathetic, he's an idiot IMO.

Chamorrita momma 2 kids; California 5675 posts
Jun 20th '12

I get where he is coming from. It wouldn't be fair to the child to be part of the family if he is not capable of caring for them. But if I were in that situation, and my child was disabled, I would raise them no matter what. That is my baby, my heart and everything. But I would have to invest in help, to be able to get a break. To have help taking care of him/her. I know I wouldn't be able to do it on my own, but I would do everything I could to make it work. But that is just me. I wouldn't judge someone who couldn't do it and chose to find a better home for that child. They're doing what's best for the child. It's sort of like having a "normal" child and giving it up for adoption. You gave it life, but you just aren't able to raise it, so you allow someone who WANTS to raise them, raise them. KWIM?

Shawna ♡ 1 child; Illinois 3306 posts
Jun 20th '12

If it was my child, handicapped or not, He/she is my child and I would try to give them the best life possible.



My cousin has Cerebral Palsy and has seizures almost everyday. She is 24 and her mother still takes care of her.

Addi&Aria'smama 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Florissant, Missouri 8261 posts
Jun 20th '12

No offense but your brother is an a*****e. I would tell him to go f**k himself and get my babies back. The fact that they are with doctors who specialize in this sort of thing makes me think that they should just leave them there. The kids are well taken care of and they are away from that discriminatory jackass.

user banned 1 child; Golden, Colorado 28482 posts
Jun 20th '12

I'd raise my child... I'd do EVERYTHING to help him/her out. My friend has a child that is a handful... almost completely blind and deaf, he has a form of Autism, but he's her son and she goes through hell for him without the fathers help. If a guy said that about any future kids or raising a handicapped kid I'd go and adopt the kid myself and LEAVE his ass. I don't care what kind of "love" there is for him... if he can't really "love" any future children that might be handicapped I'd leave his ass in the dust.

BelleDiabolique 17 kids; Texas 421 posts
Jun 20th '12

That's not what I would do in a similar situation. I'd want my kid, unless I really and truly knew I could not care for it. Sometimes, depending on the disability, there's no way (most often due to financial constraints) to provide adequate care for a disabled child. It sounds like he just doesn't want to deal with a disabled child, though. And if that's the case and he just doesn't want them, the kids are in a better environment than they would be at home with a dad like that. Maybe your SIL can work out something along the lines of joint custody and visitation?



I'm in agreement that he's an ass... that's just cold.

Madi's*Mama Due November 2; 1 child; Holland, Michigan 7391 posts
Jun 20th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Amberchik78:</b>" I wouldnt be having babies with that jackass, thats for sure."</blockquote>



!!!!

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 1 child; 2 angel babies; Las Vegas, Nevada 8884 posts
Jun 20th '12
Quoting Paging Dr. Google.:" I would raise my child disability or not, because that's what a parent does. They treat disabled people ... [snip!] ... disabled people like shit in those homes. You can't just give up when the going gets tough. That's pathetic, he's an idiot IMO."


Thats what I tried to explain to him and he responded that he knows he couldnt handle a disabled child so it wouldnt be fair to him or the child. I told him that by his logic since he cant handle is 4 perfectly normal children then clearly he shouldnt have them either. He didnt have shit to say to that one though.

Chamorrita momma 2 kids; California 5675 posts
Jun 20th '12
Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:" Thats what I tried to explain to him and he responded that he knows he couldnt handle a disabled child ... [snip!] ... handle is 4 perfectly normal children then clearly he shouldnt have them either. He didnt have shit to say to that one though."


:!:
Good one!

That girl Amber +2 2 kids; California 6981 posts
Jun 20th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:</b>" Thats what I tried to explain to him and he responded that he knows he couldnt handle a disabled child ... [snip!] ... handle is 4 perfectly normal children then clearly he shouldnt have them either. He didnt have shit to say to that one though."</blockquote>




Wait, so he has 6 kids???

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 1 child; 2 angel babies; Las Vegas, Nevada 8884 posts
Jun 20th '12
Quoting Chamorrita momma:" I get where he is coming from. It wouldn't be fair to the child to be part of the family if he is not ... [snip!] ... You gave it life, but you just aren't able to raise it, so you allow someone who WANTS to raise them, raise them. KWIM?"

See when you come at it from this angle its logical. Through out the entire conversation everything was about how it was unfair to him and how it would cost him so much money. Never once did he say that if put in that situation he would at the very least try to raise his child or that he would do what was in his child's best interest.

Cheesehead. Due April 11 (girl); 2 kids; Illinois 1672 posts
Jun 20th '12
Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:" Thats what I tried to explain to him and he responded that he knows he couldnt handle a disabled child ... [snip!] ... handle is 4 perfectly normal children then clearly he shouldnt have them either. He didnt have shit to say to that one though."


I'm glad I'm not his kid, having to fear being disabled because my parents would just throw me out.