Thanks for your help Ladies. (:
I don't think it's a horrible idea. I think it's a very kind thing to do... but it won't mend her relationship, and it certainly won't fill the void.
Quoting CNC♡:" ***PLEASE DON'T QUOTE, I WILL BE DELETING SHORTLY!*** My friend's baby passed away this spring. It's ... [snip!] ... anything it can make things worse. What should I tell her, do you think she is moving to fast & still needs time to grieve?"
She shouldn't adopt if her relationship isn't stable as well as not healing after her loss. You can only give her your opinion but she still will (of course) do what she wants.
Tell her exactly what you told us here. You don't sound like a b***h at all.
Quoting Squeaky McGee:" I don't think it's a horrible idea. I think it's a very kind thing to do... but it won't mend her relationship, and it certainly won't fill the void."
I feel bad for thinking it but I think there would be a better family out there for the baby. She is an emotional wreck, I imagine I'd be the same way losing my child after carrying her for 9 months, without warning! But I think she needs time to heal before she jumps into this.
So approach parenthood cautiously. You need not fear it as a loss of freedom. In the b*****e to a child you will find a freedom you never imagined. But neither should you seek parenthood as a way to fill and emptiness in your life. A child will hold a mirror to your life, and you will find your emptiness visited in some unimagined form upon the child itself.
Parenthood, above all else in life, requires wholeness. It is the placing of your entire life, with all its skills, all its beliefs, all its weaknesses, and all its strengths, before a child whose very being is shaped by each moment in your presence. If you have tended that presence well, and brough it to a form with which you are at peace, you can enter into parenthood with confidence and joy. If not, you should wait.
A child, whether of your blood or someone else's, whether healthy or ill, whether beautiful or mishapen, is one of life's greatest miracles. It opens your world into a new sunlight and is a gift greater than a dream. Be sure you are ready to receive it and honor it before you bring it into your life.""