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What NOT to say to grieving people Zoom Zoom Zoom! {MBRD} Due April 30 (boy); 18 kids; 1 angel baby; Bridgeport, California 27411 posts
Jun 23rd '10

There are a lot of things that people say to someone who is grieving a loss. They are often trying to be kind, but there really is no excuse for harming someone because of not thinking things through. So I'm compiling a list here of things that people say or have said in the midst of grieving, and why it is hurtful.
I understand that not all of these things will be hurtful to all people who are the recipiant of them, but they could be.



I intend to inject as much humor as possible here, as there is still humor in death. Laughter is good medicine.



Feel free to post additions, but please stay respectful of people's loss. Irreverence and SELF-depreciation are fine, but disrespect of each other not so much.
Also, remember that anger is an easy emotion, and a cover for a lot of other more complicated emotions. Those grief stricken are often touchy as hell. Most people intend only well, but it doesn

Katie's Bees Virginia 15428 posts
Jun 23rd '10

I didn't bother reading anything after I got to "there is still humor in death". Talk about what not to say to people who are grieving.

☆OGTattedmama07☆ Due July 23; 3 kids; Ghetto, Ca, United States 37047 posts
Jun 23rd '10

So what should we say?


I think people just want to try and help or lend their condolensces.

Zoom Zoom Zoom! {MBRD} Due April 30 (boy); 18 kids; 1 angel baby; Bridgeport, California 27411 posts
Jun 23rd '10
Quoting Amanda & Princess:
Jessica♥Capri ; 1 child; Trussville, Alabama 7154 posts
Jun 23rd '10

# at least you wont have to worry about him/her anymore.

Melinda. 1 child; Deltona, Florida 31041 posts
Jun 23rd '10

I'm sorry :(




I've always hated "only the good die young".

bumblebee + 3 Due July 24; 3 kids; Byron Bay, Australia 1449 posts
Jun 23rd '10

Aww... you can always have another baby later on.. That won really pisses me off.

Zoom Zoom Zoom! {MBRD} Due April 30 (boy); 18 kids; 1 angel baby; Bridgeport, California 27411 posts
Jun 23rd '10
Quoting Jessica♥Capri(MFH):
Zoom Zoom Zoom! {MBRD} Due April 30 (boy); 18 kids; 1 angel baby; Bridgeport, California 27411 posts
Jun 23rd '10
Quoting Melinda.:
Melinda. 1 child; Deltona, Florida 31041 posts
Jun 23rd '10
Quoting KMorris96:
Zoom Zoom Zoom! {MBRD} Due April 30 (boy); 18 kids; 1 angel baby; Bridgeport, California 27411 posts
Jun 23rd '10
Quoting Ur Local Frnt Desk Clrk:
Liz193 17 kids; British Columbia 1120 posts
Jun 23rd '10

or "you've had him/been with him for a long time"
Yeah exactly, which makes it WORSE not better. . I woulda liked him around for a lot longer too. It doesnt make it easier if people have been together for a long time, its harder! you share eerything in your lives together, you have a routine and then its all gone. you lose the future too.

Maxim's Momma Due January 16; 1 child; Fort Collins, Colorado 9947 posts
Jun 23rd '10

"It will be ok"



No, it won't. It's never going to be OKAY. That is the most irritating.

Rette Mich 1 child; Texas 27612 posts
Jun 23rd '10

I think people just dont know what to say. And when they grasp at things it comes out all wrong. Dont hold it against them, they are probably hurting *nothting like you but still* too and are all mixed up.

PotatoHead 1 child; Wisconsin 11230 posts
Jun 23rd '10

I love #12 because it's so true. Offering a vague form of support is nice, but actively doing something makes a little corner of life easier for that person.