Why Periods SUCK!

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As women, we get a lovely once-a-month annoyance that tells us many things… one of the most important being if we’re pregnant or not. And while many of us are anxiously awaiting the arrival of this little occurrence, we also dread it… because it’s hell and it sucks. We call it our period.

First, for a few days to a week… you get the cramps. And not just a twinge here and there, but these “Oh my God I think I’m dying give me chocolate NOW” kind of cramps. Cramps where you want to curl into a ball and wait for the pain to go away… while eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.


Insert mood swings here. One minute you’re happy, the next you’re sad, the next you want to punch someone’s face in. It sucks. And it drives men crazy, and not in a cute, good way. They think you’re a psycho. Remember that time you flipped about his boxers being left on the floor of the bathroom, again? Yeah, he thought you were nuts then.


And then there’s the bloating… you know, where you look like you just ate 5 McDoubles in 5 minutes and followed it with a triple Whopper chaser with fries. Jeans don’t fit right, shirts are too snug… it sucks. There’s a reason we’ve dubbed our sweats our ‘period pants.’


Then the bleeding starts. And at first, it’s not bad… and then HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHY!?! Literally, you go from spotting to murder scene in a DAY. You go to sleep with a pantyliner, thinking you’re good, and you wake up coated in g**e. And better make sure you have period panties too… because if you risk wearing the good ones out… I promise, like some kind of horrible voodoo, they WILL get ruined. You can put on a super plus tampon and a pad, not going to matter, it will get ruined.


And speaking of pads and tampons…getting comfy? Forget about it. Not going to happen. You’re going to toss and turn and huff and puff and roll and… nothing. You’re going to be uncomfortable for the next week, sometimes more, because your lower half is going to feel heavy as hell. Especially if you have a tampon on. Once that thing gets full… or even a little bit moist, expect to feel like you’re lugging around a bowling ball with the force of your vagina alone.


Oh yeah, did I mention the food cravings? It’s like being pregnant once a month.


And many guys won’t do sex when you’re riding the crimson rainbow, so forget about that too. Better lay a towel down and take care of business by yourself.


What do you do to cope with your period? What's your worst period symptom?

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Stacey Higlett May 12th '14

To actually answer your question on the bottom, my worst period symptom would have to be the cramps I get on the first day... MY GOD it feels like Freddie Krueger is having fun in there, and the end result looks like he did too. Now I wouldn't say I get PMS, but if something pisses me off I blame it all on the PMS LOL!!

Ash9799 May 26th '14

I cope with my period the way most girls/women do, I lay on the couch bundled up in a ball eating whatever food comes to mind...lol My worst symptoms are the cramps that make your lower stomach feel like its being stabbed>>death....ugh

BenjaminsMom.13 May 27th '14

The way I cope? I lay around cramming food in my mouth of all sorts while my son is in his walkers running around tearing up jack. Then occasionally I'll just lay and cry and cry and cry for no reason. Then when my husband asks whats wrong, I start laughing and crying at the same time.

Angie45 May 30th '14

I can't cope! It's like a horror movie EVERY MONTH! I know it's coming but no matter how well I mentally prepare myself...I just can't deal...my poor husband.