Learning lessons.

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Living in todays society, we are all exposed to things that weren't acceptable or even thought of 40 or 50 years ago. We live now, in a world, where you should accept the things that are different. I honestly never gave it much thought until the other day.


My son, who is 5, was with me in the mall. We were shopping and just spending the day together. A gay couple walked by hand-in-hand. Carson gave them a look, and then looked at me in confusion. I didn't really know how to respond. He didn't say anything so I didn't mention it. 

We spent the next hour or so walking around, built a bear, bought some clothes and then went to the food court to eat. Sometimes I forget just how 5 year olds absorb things. They see things, or hear them and then talk about them later. This was one of those events. Sitting in the food court Carson was a bit more quiet then normal. Well, lets be honest, he's never quiet. I asked him what was wrong. He looked at me, more puzzled and confused then I had ever seen him. Then says, "Mommy, those two men were holding hands, and I don't know why." I was shocked. I didn't think I would ever have this conversation with my son. He's so young and impressionable, I felt I had to tread lightly. I didn't want to affect him in any negative way but I felt the need to explain to him what it was that he saw.


He comments on old people, and different races sometimes but that is just him seeing given differences in people. He knows everyone is different yet still human.I raised him not to judge people. I looked at him, and wanted to just drop the conversation for a few years, but he has every right to know whatever he wants. I told him, "All kinds of people fall in love. Many people can't help who they fall in love with. The world is an enormous place full of people who see things completely differently then us. That doesn't make them any less human. Those men, probably loved each other." Now in my mind this made sense. I didn't think he would really process it. He didn't comment on the topic after that, so I left it alone, and we finished lunch and headed home. 

Yesterday we were sitting on our porch at our apartment, and he saw two men holding hands walking through the parking lot. I looked at him to see what his reaction would be this time. He stands up, and yells across the parking lot, "Hi guys! I'm happy you're in love." In utter shock at what he just said, and pure happiness I smiled at him. He looked at me and said, "Mommy, they love each other like you and Dustin and my daddy and Marilee(His dads fiancé')" I nodded speechlessly. 

I can honestly say I am happy we had our little chat in the mall. I want my son to be able to know all about life and it's differences. I want him to know it's okay to be different. He doesn't have to be, but he shouldn't hate or judge people that are. Often as a parent, or at least for me, I wonder if I am doing everything I can to help him grow, and be the best man he can. In that moment I knew, I had not only taught him something I thought was good for him to know, but something that some people even older than me don't realize.

Everyone is different. I am a twin, and even my sister and I are different. No one person has the same thoughts, views or ways of doing things. We all live life day-to-day. We all struggle, get sick, and bleed the same. Why should we treat anyone different for the way they live or who they love. It may be a touchy subject to some, but I am glad and so proud that my son is accepting of everyone. At least for now. He may change his views later in life, or he may not. Either way, I am proud to be his mother. I am proud that he accepts everyone for who they are and not what they do.

That's just my view, and I may get some negative feedback for it, but honestly, I don't care. It was a great experience for me and I just thought I'd share. 

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1 Comment
hk09 May 4th '14

I'm so glad to hear parents teaching love and acceptance instead of hate, thank you! :)