‘Aughh what is that smell? Oh god it’s pee. I hope he didn’t get any on me. Nope, I’m dry. Just on the mattress.’ I spoke to myself. I then try to shimmy quietly off my urine soaked mattress, only to notice my 10 month old is awake anyway. I pick him up carefully, as to not press him against me as he is soaked in urine too. I carry him to his room quietly before his crazy baby noises wake up his big brother who is sleeping on the other, dry side of my king size bed. I had no intention of ever co-sleeping before I had kids. Then I had them and realized just how cuddly they are. Now I live with the consequences. My almost-4 year old sleeps in his own bed, but for some reason was restless last night and stumbled in the night into my room.
I lay my baby on his bedroom floor so I can wipe him down and change his everything. I quickly pop a bottle into his mouth before he can squirm to get up. Boy is he soaked; up his back and down his leg. Ugh. I change him before he manages to wiggle free.
Now, do I go about my daily exercise routine, or do I straighten my hair and try to look like I put a little effort into myself today? It’s been a couple weeks since I got my hair cut and dyed and I’ve hardly had the chance to enjoy how it looks since it’s messy waves are tossed into a ponytail everyday. I decide to straighten it. Besides, my new king size mattress is coming today. I’d like to look like a human for the delivery guy.
I finish up the last bit of my hair while my baby is crawling about, checking out everything he possibly can while he is free to roam. I keep peeking into my room to find my almost-4 year old still completely asleep on his father’s side of the bed, clueless to the fact that the other side of the mattress is soaked in pee. Since he’s sleeping, it gives me a little time to remove the rest of my red nail polish and file my nails. I’m already starting to feel like a queen today. It’s not often that I manage this much grooming at once without interruption.
As I finish up my nails, my baby is getting fussy and is beginning to yell. He’ll be waking up his brother if I don’t quiet him. Instead, I go in to wake up his brother. I cover his face in kisses and whisper ‘Good morning’ into his ear. He smiles and begins to stretch as his eyes open. ‘Good morning mommy’, he whispers back as he flops his body onto the peed part of the mattress. ‘Ohh no baby, your brother peed there!’ I let out, as I grab him from the mattress.
As my eldest child walks into his room to get dressed, I feel pleased to know I won’t have to scrub this mattress again. It has had a rough 5 years through 2 kids. It has more baking soda and vinegar in it than it does skin particles. At least it doesn’t smell like it’s had years of peeing kids on it.
I take my children downstairs, prepare a bottle and juice for them and turn on morning cartoons. It only takes me a second to decide I’m going to lug this mattress down the steps and outside since the garbage truck will be here by noon. It’s worth it rather than waiting another week.
I set about my mission, and it seems impossible. I’m sure that somewhere along the way I will fall down the steps, the mattress will break a window or we will both be lodged in position until my husband comes home from work. He sure wouldn’t be happy to know I was doing this right now. But, he, more than anyone, knows how completely stubborn I am.
Finally after removing every picture frame on the stair well, pulling and shoving in every direction, and after hitting my head off of a nail on the wall, I have it downstairs. I manage to drag it out the door as it waves heavily in each direction. After I haul it down the porch steps, I let it fall to the ground. It’ll be easier to drag it from here. So, that I do, covering it in mud, grass and sticks all along the way. Finally it is at the end of our short driveway, and I can go back inside.
Proud of my early morning accomplishment, I tear open a granola bar. I sure hope the delivery truck still comes today. After all, I have straightened my hair, applied bits of makeup and fought with this mattress to get it outside. My husband wouldn’t be too pleased of the sleeping conditions if the delivery truck doesn’t arrive. A box spring mattress to sleep on? The couch?
Oh well, it’s time to wash my urine soaked bedding and pull out my new bed pads. Hopefully this mattress will have better luck.