For those Expecting Moms with Military Spouses

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It can be hard when your spouse is in the military. Trust me I know because I got pregnant and right before my husband was sent away on training and was to be deployed a couple of months after that. One thing that civilians think is just that we miss being with our husbands while they are away, but it’s much more than that. We also worry about keeping the house clean, feeling alone even though we may be surrounded by people, feeling unsafe many nights, spending nights alone in our big empty beds just lying there thinking of our hubbies.

There are so many factors that come into play when our husbands are gone for weeks or even months at a time. They may be training a few miles away to a few thousand plus miles away. Aside from all of those basic feelings; just think about being pregnant on top of all of those feelings! We get emotional as it is and it just adds to the stress when our men are gone.

I remember going to many OB appointments alone and briefly (if I was lucky) being able to call my hubby and tell him how the baby and I were both doing. I was one of the lucky ones who gets to have my husband around before the birth of our first child. I am now 39 weeks pregnant and ready to pop at any moment and he is right by my side if I need anything, but I can’t help but feel sad that not every military spouse out there gets to enjoy such an amazing moment whether it’s their first child or 4th for that matter.

I also (even though it sounds silly) feel really alone at dinner time because I would be just cooking for myself. I love being able to make a nice dinner for my husband. It makes me feel accomplished and I try to show him how much I appreciate all that he does for our little family. Besides, don’t they say the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?

Nowadays for me the main entertainment I get is being able to go grocery shopping late at night. It helps me clear my head and besides…who doesn’t love seeing empty aisles at Walmart? On the complete opposite side it’s really weird getting use to my husband being home when he has been gone for even a month. I get use to cleaning up after just myself and staying up late at night watching Army Wives on Netflix.

Once the hubby gets home it’s about cleaning up after him, going to bed when he does, and making sure he is relaxed. I wouldn’t trade the way my life is for anything in this world because it truly is rewarding in its own way. It’s facts like these that truly makes a woman like myself grateful that I have the support I do at this important time in my life.

I am not sure what I will do when my husband goes on deployment after our son is born. I don’t want him to miss out on anything and I would feel bad if the time came where my husband was deployed and my son asked if he was ok. Of course in a situation like that you have to reassure a child that daddy is coming home; however what do you tell them if daddy doesn’t come home at all. The thought of him dying out there gets to me all the time. Even when my husband is safe and sound at home I keep thinking about his next deployment and if I will see his smiling face ever again.

It’s a scary reality what these men and women go and do just to protect civilians like myself. Kudos to those women out there toughing out pregnancy and birth as well as raising their children without their spouses sleeping at home every night…we all know our military loved ones are fighting for us every single day.

I thank you all for that every time I lay my head on my pillow and realize its pure luck that my baby’s father is still lying next to me.

-Jenn Jenkins

My hubby and I                                          
My hubby and I
 That's me :)

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ChrissyCola Apr 11th '14

I'm an army spouse, feel free to add me!

MarisolArmijo Apr 15th '14

I'm an army spouse as well

-Charlotte Pithers Apr 16th '14

I'm about to experience what you are experiencing because my partner is about to go into the infantry and we are expecting our first child, and reading you're article has made me realise what it's going to be like which is a heads up for me :) & I'm rather scared to be honest about missing him and him not being around to help me as much, but then again I suppose when you do see your husband you cherish the time you have? Is there any advice you can give to me with how to cope with missing him and etc?

Sabrina Marie Wilmot Apr 16th '14

I am also an Army spouse and feel free to add me. We are on our 4th baby!

Rocelyn Apr 18th '14

Im an army wife as well and were on our 1st pregnancy together as well we miscarried our first two pregnancy so on top of him going on mission and field promts im worried when he's not home at night to hold me when my fears come about so I totally agree that we have a great more stress when our spouse's are away even if it's only for 12 hrs.

Ashley Frappier Jul 15th '14

I'm an army spouse too. And currently pregnant with my first baby. My hubby is away on training for an entire month and will be missing the appointment to hear our baby's heartbeat. :( I just keep hoping and praying he won't be deploying in November, since I'm due in February. It's hard enough not having him here, and the thought of him missing our baby's birth breaks my heart.

Jennjenkins26 Mar 1st '15

Hey guys,

Sorry for the delay. I was unable to see the comments that were left here on my blog. It has been awhile since I wrote this. Well I had my son April 16th 2014. I am still a military wife, but my husband is no longer active duty. It was better for us to move home and ETS into the National Guard. He is around a lot more, but he leaves for training a lot still. He isnt in the field anymore or on long training other than 2 weeks away out of the year and some 3 day weekends. We did find out that we were expecting again when our son was 4 months old! We were in shock, but we are still very happy. We found out about 2 months ago that we are having a girl and I am due in June. I do hope that my initial post was able to help some of you understand what its like a little bit to be a military wife with children. There is so much more that I hadnt added because its too much! I just hope that you dont only view it as negative. Yes, it is a hard place to be, but the rewards are very much worth it. I have decided yet, but once my daughter is born and I have lost all of this baby weight I too may join the military. I like the lifestyle. It would break my heart to leave my babies during training/deployments. I just know that it is what is best for our family specifically. I do hope that you all are able to see this response, but if not know that we are all a big military family and you are never alone.