Sheldon 17 kids; Clemmons, North Carolina 1549 posts
Oct 3rd '12

My name is Hannah, my husband is Robert. We have been married for 4 years and have a 4-1/2 yr old son. We had been trying for about a year and half to get pregnant. We had a miscarriage at 5 weeks October '11. We finally got pregnant in May '12 and the pregnancy was going so well. Apart from a miscarriage scare around 6 weeks, I had no morning sickness, I was eating well, exercising. I was doing everything by the book, doing just what the doctor told me to do. We went to have the anatomy scan at 21 weeks. The baby was perfect, so healthy. We were having another boy and the doctor told us he everything was growing the way it was supposed to, our boy weighed 13 ounces. He was perfect.

We went to visit family over the weekend to announce the wonderful news. I went into preterm labor, started bleeding. We rushed to the nearest hospital, they did a cervix check and the amniotic sac was coming out of the cervix. They tried leaning me as far as I could go, with my feet practically over my body, in hopes that the sac would go back in. After no success, they told my husband and I that I was going to have the baby, there was nothing they could do, and at 21 weeks he will not survive and they will not resuscitate because he was too small to survive. So at 1:35 pm on September 30, 2012 my perfect, healthy son was ripped from my body, and died at 1:50 pm, just 15 minutes later.

On Friday we found out the gender and by Sunday it was over.

lilsweetiepie Due December 6 (girl); Brooksville, Florida 3 posts
Oct 4th '12

my name is ashley im 21 yrs old. my fiances nameis john and hes 27..
3 yrs ago i got preg with my son and only made it to 24 weeks with all the stress my ex put on me. i went to my dr told him i was in pain and bleeding and he didnt even check me.. told me i had a bladder infection andsent me home. 3 hrs later i went into labor at my house and my son only lived for a little over 3 hours.. burying my son was the hardest thing ive ever had to done, and seeing as i was only 18 i didnt no what to do..
me and my fiance have been together for a yr now and im currently 31 weeks pregnant with a little girl.. i have to get progesterone shots every week because my dr dont think i can carry full term.. i ended up inthe hospital this past sunday with alot of pain and tightness in my stomach and cometo find out i was going into labor. i was 1 cm dilated.. they gave me steriod shots put me on pills to stop the contractions and gave me another shot to also help with them.. im now on complete bed rest and my drs got changed. im now seeing a few high risk drs in st petersburg, and i just found out yesterday that they found water on my little girls brain and around her heart.. so i have to go through alot of major testing and i dont no what to do im trying to stay as positive as i can but its hard when you have really no one to lean on or no one who really understands what your going through and no one to talk to... =(

MommaShan 18 kids; Pennsylvania 10 posts
Oct 15th '12

Hi my name is Shannon, im 27 and my husband is 30! We have 2 amazing little boys, Joshua 4.5 and Elijah 22months. Found out we were expecting another baby in February 2012! We were so excited but very hesitant because our little Elijah has Down Syndrome. We knew that there is a 1% chance of us having another child with DS, so we went and had all screenings and testing done that we could of possibly done. OUr 1st trimester screening came back with a greater than 1 in 2 risk of our baby to have DS. Still took all precautionary measures to ensure things were fine. My pregnancy was miserable due to extremely high levels of hormones running through my body, migraines, pains everywhere, lightheadedness, falling, you name it, it happened! But I was still very happy to get it all over with to come home with our 3rd little boy, Lukas Daniel! Ultrasounds came back fine, eveything was looking great. Septmber 21, 2012...I went to Labor and Delivery due to lack of fetal movement. Went down for an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat!!! My world crashed around me...I was alone because my sister had my boys and my hubby was working! I felt angry, upset, empty. I was prior sections due to my inablitity to progress during labor, so I assumed they were going to do c Section that day. Apparently it is unlawful to do a Section to woman with a Fetal Demise due to its risk for infection of the mother. With that said, I was in labor for 2 days, finally when I got 9cm, his head was almost there. Then all of a sudden I started to have horrible pains in my lower left part of my stomache, my Uterus had ruptured. I had to have extensive surgery for repair along with a C Section! Lukas Daniel Cole was born sleeping, September 23, 2012 weighing 5lbs 9oz and 18 inches long!!! I was able to recover from the section perfectly fine, still having complications with my uterus! Instead of coming home with my lil man, we came home with an Angel box!!! Instead of adding the final touches on his nursery, we came home and took everything down!!! So for the past 3 weeks now, Ive been in complete pain for what!?!? NOTHING! Things seem to unreal and unfair, I have no baby in my home or in my arms. My heart is missing somthing and so is my home!!! Lukas Daniel also had severe Down Syndrome, which is why he is in God's graces!!! Today was the day of my C Section, he would of been here in my arms sometime early this morning!!! But instead he is in God's arms!!!! Love you my lil Angel!!!

Garryandtara Embley Due February 11; Japan 1 posts
Oct 21st '12

Hello My name is Tara and I am the mommy of four beautiful girls, Jade Marie (10) Audree Beth (8) Skye Gabryele (6) Lilly-Anne Tree (5) and two twin angel boys named Antton David and Rayland Joseph born sleeping Sept 6, 2012 just a few days short of 20 weeks. Here is my story......

June of this year I was going in for shoulder surgery. Before this I had a negitive pregnancy test every month. I had cervical cancer removed in Dec of 2011 and the doctor told my husband and I that it was ok to try for another child, but there would be a few more risks than what I was used to. All my girls were born early 31, 32, 33, and 34 weeks. I have had one miscarriage before right before I became pregnant with Lilly-Anne. However, given the risks, after 20 weeks my OB would refer me to a perinatologist. So we kept trying. Anyways back to my surgery....I went in for my surgery, and of course they had to do a urine pregnancy test. My surgery was supposed to be at 10:00am well it was 11:30 and my nurse was just about to start my IV when another nurse came and took her out of my room. My nurse comes back with her head down in a scared little voice, "Tara, you're pregnant" my first reaction was "you're kidding me" she replied, is this a good thing? I said yes we have been trying for five months (we never had to really try with my 5 pregnancies before) she congradulated me, so did every nurse and doctor and patient on my way out of the OR.....Happy Happy. I went to my doctor and found out I was eight weeks....hurray. He discussed all the risks and prepared his schedule for an early delivery anytime after 30 weeks. He wanted to make sure he was there. Everything was going great :) strong heart beat, actually very loud I guess. Always around 140...all my girls were in the 170s so we were soooo hoping for a boy....At 14 weeks exactly, my world turned upside down.....I started bleeding A LOT. Of course it had to be at midnight, so my husband (bless his heart) woke up all four of our daughters loaded them up and we headed to the ER. He had to stay in the waiting room with our daughters, so I went in nurse tried to find they babies heart beat....she couldn't find it, but also kept asking me "are you sure you are only 14 weeks, you are showing more like 20" i told her I haven't had an ultrasound but I knew the date of my last period. She tried for 20 minutes to find a heart beat....nothing. heartbroken I lay there. The doctor said not to worry, they called for the Ultrasound tech to come in but she lived an hour it would be a little while. I laid in the cold ER with my husband peeking in on me now and then....finally she got there 2 1/2 hours later.....omg I have never felt like this in my life. We get back to the room, and she turns the screen away from me, I told her I want to see....she says I would rather wait to find a heart beat....I said no, I want to watch. She turned the screen towards me, and there was a heartbeat of 142, happy happy again, she moves the thing down and says......"you see this" of course i was like "what is that the babies butt?" she said nope....this is the second heart.....WTF???? Everyone had gave me hell from the time I told people I was pregnant that I was going to have twins. Then she says, there is no dividing line. Ok what the crap. She tells me I am having MOMO (monoamnionic twins) one placenta one sac. that means they are identical. So so so happy that now I am having two babies. The tech also did a transvaginal ultrasound to make sure my cervix was doing good and it was perfect. I went back to the er, and the doctor said that I had some cysts rupture on my cervx, nothing to worry about but to go see my OB the next day. Well I had to see my doctors partner, he had went on vacation for the week, which I like this other doctor other than she is female and is a little rough....or a lot. Now when I came in she hadn't seen the US results all she knew was I was having twins. I told her they said they were Identical...she looks up my file and she says, you have to see a perinatologist right away. These are very high risk babies and with your history, this hospital can not handle you or them. I guess when they share a sac their cords tangle among other risks. So I went to Kansas City, found out I would be inpatient at 24 weeks and they would do a c-section at 28 weeks. They were going to start me on pergesterone 17 shots after 19 weeks.
I went to my OB on Sept 5th, and the heartbeats were strong....everything was going great :) My OB didn't check my cervix though, I am very sensitive and it hurts like hell and I was seeing the PERI the next day.
The night of Sept 5 I started having horrible pains like I needed to use the bathroom, so I did. The pain went away, but came back off and on all night. By morning I was zombie tired. But still it didn't dawn on me that something was wrong. I wasn't able to time my pain so I was good, until I took a shower....I was bleeding again. I wanted to go to my peri, not the hospital near me, the one two hours away, I had an appt anyways to find out if we were having boys or girls. We left four my appt four hours before we needed to, hoping to get in early. I called ahead to let them know what was happening....well about 1 1/2 hours into our trip, my pains were seven minutes heart sank....I knew something was going on. Once we got there they took me to triage....they had me pee in a cup, and then I went to stand up....I felt pressure, I sat down.......and my water broke...all I could do was cry. They did an ultrasound, to see if there was any water left....if there was they might be able to do something, there was husband watched the whole ultrasound, they wouldn't let me see, but our twins were still alive, however they couldn't tell us if they were boys or girls. They told us, I had to deliver and babies can't survive at this stage......during them talking to me, my husband watch the monitor and the ultrasound, he watched as their hearts stopped, yet no one told me. They took me to labor and 1200. They hooked me up to everything they could...then I kept feeling like I was leaking more water, and madder than hell coz they told me I lost it all. They offered me a epidural...yes please....I want five :( They pulled my covers back, and saw it was water I was leaking, it was blood, a large amount. 2liters of blood....that would be why I felt so dizzy. Well they had to start a third IV to give me blood.....took them almost 2hours to get it going. They all felt horrible...4 doctors and 7 nurses tried. My husband said they poked me 30 times in just one hand using three holes. I don't remember everything that happened after this, I was in and out of consiousness because of the blood loss. I was given 15 shots of epinephrin to keep my heart going, it only stopped one time. At 4:50pm, I felt pressure....I had an epidural but I still felt pressure, the doctors came in and threw back the covers...I thought I was passing more blood, the doctor says "it's time, your twins are coming" Antton David was born breech...he was first and Rayland Joseph was trying to come out at the same time, but they were lifeless........all I could do was cry. They took they boys to the warmer thingy, cleaned them up, wrapped them in blankets, and said, would you like to see your babies....I said of course, are they boys or girls.........the nurse says, you have two little boys. My heart broke to pieces. They then asked us, if they have names or if we want to keep them as "Angels" My husband says yes they have names. I couldn't hold my babies, they would have let me, but they were soooo small, I didn't want to hurt them. They were in our room for over an hour. The nurses stood in front of me holding them for at least 30 minutes as I pointed out every little difference between them. Mommy can tell them apart. Antton David was 115g (a little over 4oz) and 7.5 inches long, Rayland Joseph was 120g (little over 4oz) and 7inches long. Nothing wrong with either one of them, just too early. However, their cords were sooooo tangled, the doctor said, they wouldn't have made it another two weeks. The knots were tight already.
My doctors and nurses were so wonderful that day. So caring, and understanding. They took our boys' pictures and gave us keepsake boxes, they have sent us cards every other week and someone calls once a month.

Something happened to my placenta, that had a huge bubble in it. We are still waiting for the test results to come back. Something these doctors had never seen anymore. I wasn't released from the hospital until 130am....and I had to fight to get out.....we got home around be greeted by our four daughters want to know if they were having brothers or sisters......heartbroken, we told them....

Antton and Rayland were laid to rest Sept 12, 2012 at 5pm, but will be in our hearts forever.

user banned Due May 6 (girl); Japan 11 posts
Oct 24th '12

I love that love spell that you did for me which me to get my husband back we are back together it worked that next day.... my neighbor down the street said he kept driving up and down the street. looking for me Dr Humen you are really a great spell caster i remember the day i saw your email after i have work with two different spell caster already i never believe that i was going to see result again but you assured me that you are going to prove yourself to me and you really did so is my time to prove myself to you too by telling people the good work that you have done for me thank you Dr Humen

Mummy of 3 and married 3 kids; 6 angel babies; United Kingdom 65 posts
Oct 25th '12

Hey ladies my names Amelia Sharp and i'm 17 and at the time my ex boyfriends name was Jake Carter he is 19. I am a mum of 2 My son Tom Logan and my little girl whom is an angel baby Angelina Juliet. This is my story.

Jake and I had been together for 2 years and we never used protection and after a few months i didn't have my period so i told my mum and she told me that she would get me a pregnancy test to see if i was pregnant and it came back positive i showed my mum she just sat me down and told me all the options i had and i had to choose one so i said i wanted to keep it (i don't believe in abortions) and she said okay then well i'm not going to help you as much i said okay. I wasn't scared of my mum or dad finding out but now it was the time to tell my brother and i sat down next to him and i told him i had to speak to him, he said okay then.. i told him and he went mad. Then a few months after i went to the clinic and they told me i was having twins inside i was screaming and thinking how am i going to handle 2 babies and that one was a boy (Tom) and the other was a girl (Angelina) i was happy. When i was 4 months i started to have lots of blood clots bigger than both of my hands put together and i was having a huge amount of pain in my back. So i went to the hospital to find out if they were okay. The nurse looked at my in such disbelief i didn't know what she was going to say "One second i'm going to get the doctor to look because i can only find one heart beat" *nurse goes and gets a doctor he comes in* "okay then lets see how your 2 little ones are doing" "uh-mm i'm sorry i have some bad news"
"what's the bad news Dr Anderson"
"i can only find one of the heartbeats and the other one has passed away in your womb we are so sorry" *me and Jake hugging and crying* Later on in the day they decided they were going to give me a Cesarean to get Angelina out so that Tom could get bigger and it would be safer for him. So that's what they did. She looked so peaceful. Me and Jake were allowed to hold her before they put her in her little box so we could take her home and bury her. But luckily i went through the rest of my pregnancy without any blips.

R.I.P Angelina Juliet Sharp born on the 29th of March 2012 at 15:37 xxxxx

Caidens_momma Due September 11; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Marathon, Florida 351 posts
Nov 6th '12

Here is my story,

I was 18 years old when I found out I was having a baby the father (now ex) was 21. It was a feb afternoon and my bf and couple of friends of our thought lets go paintballing. My best friend and I didnt paintball but started talking about how my breast hurt to touch and I missed my period. She told me that I was prego, so we went over to the 99 cent store to get a test and I thought it was neg, but she showed me a faint line that it was positvie. so to speed up time, the father and I decided to keep the baby and tell our parents, well they came around soon enough lets just say, and I had my first appointment set up in April with my mother.

Well finally that came around I was so happy to be able to see my little one, I wanted the father to be there but couldnt get the day off, they did the ultrasound on me, but as I was looking at the large tv I noticed something was wrong, the baby wasnt moving nor was there a heartbeat, I asked isnt there supposed to be a heartbeat, the nurse replied depends how far along are you, then she stepped out, I told my mother I know there is supposed to be one, from what I read 5 wks, and I was past that mark. Well she came back in with the doctor and they did another ultrasound on me to make sure. And that when my life went to hell........

Its been 3 years since then and the baby would be turning 3 this month or next month and I still havent been able to get past it, I can't talk to anyone about to due to reason, I just let myself have my moment and wait for them to past. I know things happen for a reason and God wasnt ready for his lil one to leave yet. I am now 21 and in the military getting life set, and hopefully within the next year or so with my now husband there will be a little one with us soon,

but not a day goes by I don't think about the one I lost and I hope to have him in my arms again soon, R.I.P.

My Miracle Babies Due January 11 (twins); Texas 1 posts
Nov 27th '12

hello my name is elizabeth i am 25 years old and i am from laredo, tx. i have two boys, arnold jr who turns 5 years in december and my little fighter ayden who is 1 month and is still in the nicu and my precious angel arhianna amberly who wouldve also been 1 month. i was diagnosed with sle/lupus nephritis in july 2010 the doctors told me that my chances of becoming pregnant were low. so i didnt think nothing of it and wasnt using contraceptives. on may 10 2012 i was scheduled for a yearly exam and the nurse asked me when my last period had been, and it had been in march. she told me to get a upt just to make sure...sure enough the nurse came back and told me it was positive. i was in shock and very excited. the dr did and u/s and i was still very early along. when i went back in two weeks for another u/s on may 24 2012 there they were...two sacs. my husband and i were thrilled. on aug 24 we went for our checkup and u/s to check for the babies sex. theyr were a boy and a girl! we were over the moon ecstatic! they had me very closely monitored especially becauuse of my kidneys and hight blood pressure. i was put on bed rest and when i was 27 weeks along on oct 13, i noticed that my arhianna wasnt moving. so on the 15th which was a monday, i went immediately to the dr's office and they immediately took me in the sono room and started checking my babies. i knew something was wrong because i could just tell by the looks of the nurses face. she told me the dr would be right in and i asked her if she could see a heartbeat but she told me nothing. the dr then came in and started to check both my babies. he first checked on ayden and he was fine, but then checked on my arhianna and took longer he was just moving the little wand and pressing on my belly until the words came out of his mouth "im sorry but your baby doesn't have a heartbeat anymore". i just broke down...i couldnt believe it! i was completely devastated! my dr was planning on leaving her inside me for a couple of more weeks so that my ayden could develop and grow more but he then looked at my labwork and told me he would hjave to deliver me that same day because my kidneys were in complete failure. my mother in law called my husband and my mother to let them know and they met me in the hospital. i arrived at around 10:45 am and delivered aydeb via csec at 12:28 pm and my angel arhianna was born still at 12:29 pm. they both weighed 1lb 9oz, ayden measured 13 in and arhianna 14 in. the dr then told me my arhianna had the cord around her neck. i got to hold my precious angel for about three hrs. she was so beautiful and looked very peaceful. we buried her a week later, it was sooo hard and devastating! i think about her and pray for her everyday. i miss her soo veruy dearly. my precious fighter ayden is still fighting everyday. his lungs are still not well developed, he wouldve been 33 weeks gestation to this day. i just pray every single day that he recovers soon and that his twin sister is watching over him from heaven. i love my miracle babies!

ArtieandherRainbow Due April 19 (girl); 16 kids; Taylor, Michigan 2 posts
Nov 29th '12

This is my first ever post on babygaga, I hope you don't mind if I jump right in.
My name is Amy, I'm 19 years old and I'm currently almost half way through my 2nd pregnancy.

It's been over a year since I had my first miscarriage with my first baby and I'm just now letting myself grieve. I never told anyone I was pregnant ( I didn't really have much time between when I found out and when I lost the LO ) not even my then SO. Because I never told anyone in my family, I haven't even admitted it to my doctor which I actually feel guilty about.

In June of 2011 I was going on vacation for a month with my long distance boyfriend so I get the Depo shot with the intention of getting an IUD when I got home.
A few weeks later I started getting really sick all the time so my SO and I decided to take a pregnancy test. He wanted to buy just 1 test but the store only had the 3 packs in stock. When we got home we took it immediately and it was negative. That was good enough for SO but something kept nagging me so when I still didn't start my period 5 days later, I took it again. I thought it said negative but when I glanced at it later on my way out the door there was a very faint line. I was stunned. I didn't tell SO because the box said something about not reading the results after 10 minutes. Instead I looked up online everything I could about pregnancy tests and decided to test again in a week I read that hormone levels double every 3 days so after 6 days I should definitely get a positive if I really was pregnant. When I took the test, this time it came back positive right away. I didn't know what to feel. I shoved the test back in the box and stashed it.

I wanted to have time to process it on my own before I told SO, and I was nervous about his reaction anyway since he was so against kids and babies, so I decided not to tell him that night. I took some time for myself and took a bath that night, and just thought about the fact that I was pregnant. I started to get really excited thinking about the fact that I was carrying a baby! I even laid my hand on my belly and sang a little lullaby. When I got up I went online and did a due date calculator based on my cycle. It put me at 6 weeks with a due date of March 6th 2012.

The very next day I woke up to really heavy bleeding. My SO was like "finally" but I was terrified. I didn't know what to do because I was out of state so I didn't know whether I should go to the ER plus I still hadn't told SO. I looked up stuff online and drank a lot of water and put my feet up. When I started having really bad cramps and the bleeding got worse I went into the bathroom to take a bath. I was in there for an hour before I passed what I believed was the baby. SO never even came to check on me. I had to wash the blood out of the tub after the water drained.

I called my mom very frantic and upset to tell her but she was at home with all my younger siblings who were all acting up and was very distracted so I said "Nevermind, just homesick" and hung up. I went home a couple of days later and didn't leave my bed for a week. Didn't change my clothes for another week after that. It was only when my mom started freaking out that I decided to act normal. I pretended I was never pregnant and tried to "move on". I thought it was my fault anyway, that I had accidentally killed my baby because I was on Depo when I got pregnant and because it was my fault I didn't deserve to grieve. I was in such denial that I was never pregnant, that I followed my niece's pregnancy (she was due 2 months before I was) without any kind of emotion one way or another.

When my SO decided to attend my brother's wedding with me this July, I decided to go on the pill. I went on the pill in April. I was very very adament about taking it as directed. I set an alarm on my phone and took it at exactly 10:30 every night. I must be very fertile because even though I never missed a single pill, I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks. I was scared at first but my doctor assured me the baby would be fine. I slowly allowed myself to become excited. When I passed 6 weeks with no sign of any trouble, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was determined to have as healthy a pregnancy as possible. I didn't want to do anything that could potentially harm my baby. I was religious with my prenatals, I was a vegetarian for 3 years but in an effort to have a balanced diet I started eating lean meats again, I even stopped taking the medication for my IBS.

At 8 weeks I had my first appointment with my OB and had an ultrasound. The very first thing she said was "strong heartbeat" which made her my hero for the day because I was terrified there would be no heartbeat or baby. Then she turned the screen and showed me my LO for the first time and I swear my whole life changed at that moment.

Unfortunately SO didn't share in my excitement. When we got home he demanded I get an abortion. I was stunned and immediately heartbroken. I couldn't believe he was asking that of me. For 3 days every time we were alone he'd try to pressure me, guilt trip me, or manipulate me into deciding to get an abortion. He even tried to bribe me saying he would marry me and we'd have a huge wedding and I could stay at home and never work if I wanted as long as I had an abortion. It was the worst 3 days of my life. He made me feel like I was the worst person in the world for wanting to carry through with my pregnancy. I remember sitting there sobbing, "I want to keep it. I want to keep it." I wouldn't let him touch me, I could barely look at him. Eventually he sighed and told me "Fine, put it up for adoption when it's born." He never once acted like it was my choice.

A week later, I woke up to a bleeding scare and rushed to the hospital at 4 a.m. It wasn't until noon that they told me my baby was fine, her heartbeat was strong, and the bleeding was from a simple UTI. During the time I was in the hospital SO was very very supportive. But when they told me I was fine, he shut down. Me, my doctor, my family could all see he was visually disappointed I wasn't miscarrying. When we left, I told him I was absolutely keeping my baby. He went back home to his state and I haven't heard from him since.

I only knew about my baby for a little while, but I loved him/ her very much and was heartbroken when he/she went to heaven. To honor my baby, I picked the names Eliza/ Aaron and that's how I refer to him/ her in my head.

My baby would be a year old a month before this LO's due date. I really hope he/ she knows how much I loved him/her.

Cami Rickea 2 kids; Rogue River, Oregon 2 posts
Dec 5th '12

My name is Cami and I live in Southern Oregon. I have a beautiful 4 year old son, Aiden who was born in December of 2008. Sadly I suffered a miscarriage at 7wks back in February of 2012 and then separated from my husband. As if that wasn't enough, I became pregnant in July and discovered it was twins, due April 18, 2012!! My boyfriend and I had only been together for a short time, and he also had a 6 year old son so we were very shocked but also VERY excited. We found out it was a boy and a girl and chose their names. Then at 19 wks and 2 days our lives were turned upside down. I went to the hospital for pain and discovered that I was in labor, dilated to 4cm and contracting fast. My amazing doctor started crying and told me there was nothing we could do...I would be delivering my babies and they were far too tiny to survive. On November 25, 2012 Lillian Rain and Liam River were born into the arms of angels. Lilly was 9oz and 9in long, absolutely perfect and so very tiny. She would've been my little stinker...she always kicked so much more than Liam and loved it when I ate sweets! Her brother came 5 minutes later weighing in at 8oz and 8 3/4 in long. He looked so much like Daddy. They both had ten tiny fingers and ten perfect toes. Their little noses were so beautiful...I don't understand why this happened...and I don't know why God needed my babies more than I did. I do know that I will see them again and I know that their life with Jesus is so much sweeter than any life I could give them on this earth...but I miss them more than I ever thought was possible. I long to hold them and kiss them and smell them one more time...and all I have is a tiny heart that holds their ashes. I still wake up every morning at 4:30am... Lilly was born at 4:29 and Liam at 4:34...some days I don't know how I'll ever be ok knowing I can't have them. All I can do is cling to my family and to my faith in Jesus so that I can see them again. It's a daily struggle...I'm just lucky that a few have chosen to walk it with me...and carry me through it on the days I can't walk.

Mama J♡ Due February 24 (boy); 3 kids; Arizona 3116 posts
Dec 6th '12

Two days ago we loss my husband's aunt to cervical cancer, I can't believe it, It was so hard to watch her take her last breath. She was full of life, loved spending time with kids. I know she's in better place, where she no longer has pain :(

Kaylee Wilson Duckett Due September 18 (twins); 68 kids; Logansport, Indiana 52 posts
Dec 29th '12

I'm Kaylee I live in northern indiana. I have 3 beautiful step kids and soon to be 2 living babies... I have 4 angel babies 3 of which i was only a 8-9 weeks into the pregnancy and lost and my 4th i was 18 weeks with I went in for my 1st ultra sound i had my husband and my mom with me at the time and the tech was doing the normal measurements and everything then she just got up and walked out of the room didnt say anything to me or my family.. about 20 mins later my ob walked in and started the ultra sound again looked at me and said the baby is dead there is no heart beat and its measuring about a week smaller then it should and walked out of the room as he stepped out with the tech he started yelling at her because he was missing his gulf game because she called him in to have him confirm there was no heart beat and he refused to do any test to figure out why i had miscarried so many times.... I was furious and devastated at the same time bc i had lost another child and didnt know why and the fact that my dr was complaining about a gulf game that he was missing.. But as of right now i am 30 weeks pregnant with my little girl and so far everything is looking good.

To everyone who has experienced a loss of a child I'm sorry that anyone would have to deal with the pain that you have went through

deletemyaccount Colorado 10 posts
Jan 4th '13

Dear members,

How are you?
My apologies for not having my pic in place - I can't figure it out..
My name is Francisca, I am 45 and I live in Aurora, Colorado - I am import from The Netherlands. Most peeps know me as midwife2thesoul and that is directly related to my natural ways of being with the dying and/or loved ones.

I have no children. And it is therefore highly important for me to explain why I am among you. But first I'd like to share that I am so very sorry for your loss(es). My entire life is dedicated to compassion. The only way for me to survive an unspeakable background, was as a tiny little girl to come up with a reason: "why am I here?"

The answer for me was: "I am here to help".
And so that's what i did, and that's what I'm still doing and will continue to do.

I have served as a volunteer in many many fields and with people from all walks of life, ages, abilities and I love it - its what I do :-) My passion i found within hospice care and serving with people facing or having faced a loss. I wrote a training - at first for hospice volunteers - about how to companion mindfully with those who are dying. However, when people wanted for me to sell those materials (book and videos) - I QUIT!

There is NO way that anything I have ever done, ever created, ever shared - is going to cost even a single penny to anyone - not happening: It would destroy everything i believe in: Compassion and Random acts of kindness.

So, I kept sharing comfort and i kept sharing videos, except not just geared towards hospice. I have created videos with music, videos about dying and a whole lot more. Some of the artists were very Gracious about me using their music and I found this site when searching for music that might be of comfort to those who sadly suffered miscarriage(s).

I create videos that are free to use for everyone and since I saw that some people mentioned songs that were special to them of which I already have a video: i figured I'd set up an account and put those videos and my other videos about the loss of a child, that I have created in the past, in an album for whomever they may speak to and two videos with songs that were mentioned on this site are in the making:

May they be of comfort...

Delilah & Angel Bailey's 33 kids; Greenfield, 1089 posts
Jan 5th '13

Adding my sweet Bailey on here... My name is Hallonia.. I am 22 and the mommy of 2 sweet angel babies and a very amazing toddler. I just recently lost my dear sweet Bailey... I was 25 weeks pregnant and as healthy as can be..She was due April 12th but sadly came into the world sleeping December 28th... We laid her to rest December 31st... Hardest thing I have ever done... Miss her so much... <3

deletemyaccount Colorado 10 posts
Jan 5th '13

Dearest Hallonia,

How nice to meet you.
I wish...i wish...I had something incredibly profound to share with you - something that would make it all alright. Sadly, i cannot.

I can however be sincere in sharing with you how sorry I am to hear that your Beloved Bailey and of course, sister to your Beautiful Princess Delilah ~ went to play with their Angel Sibling, who was probably awaiting her arrival just about as anxiously as I am sure you and your loved ones did.

Loss is a very personal journey that is not to be underestimated nor compared.

I would love to share one of my videos "A Message from heaven" I like this one for siblings as well and maybe it may be of comfort to your Lovely Delilah...
I shall put it in my album because not everything speaks to everyone in the same way; but if you like it or any other video of mine - feel free to download and share ~ and please do remember:

We may not know each other - but that doesn't mean I can't hold you in my heart regardless...may it be of comfort... Francisca, Colorado