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Found out the Gender.. my third Girl... I’m broken hearted. Leesi Due August 17; 2 kids; 3 angel babies; United States 269 posts
Mar 11th

I found out today that I’m having another girl. I know I should be grateful she’s healthy it’s a blessing, bla bla bla. I’m tired of hearing the cliches.  I’m raising this baby alone, everyone says I can try again for another boy.. to what be a single mom of four ? Or have four girls?? I feel terrible I feel this upset. But I lost two sons, all I ever wanted was a son... I resent her father and I had all these names and dreams of a son.. I sucked ot up cus I just knew it was a boy... but like when she said girl at ultrasound I just .. I asked her to just stop. I didn’t wanna see anymore I cried and everyone says I’m ungrateful.. I guess I am? I don’t wanna pick out names . I haven’t felt any attachment and now I really don’t. This is my last baby... and this pregnancy isn’t how I expected it to go.. and now I’ll never have a son... I feel so sad and heartbroken. Mind you I found all this out today .. on my birthday ... this time last year I also lost my mom... all I wanna do is cry to her... what if I don’t love my baby??? What if I don’t grow a bond?  

Lyla & Maxwell's Mommy 3 kids; 2 angel babies; Wisconsin 1576 posts
Mar 12th

I’ve never had gender disappointment but it does seem your feelings are extreme.  I honestly would talk to my ob about it, if I were you.  In truth every baby is a blessing regardless of gender and it made me sad to even read your post :(

Leesi Due August 17; 2 kids; 3 angel babies; United States 269 posts
Mar 12th

Quoting Lyla & Maxwell's Mommy:
I’ve never had gender disappointment but it does seem your feelings are extreme.  I honestly would talk to my ob about it, if I were you.  In truth every baby is a blessing regardless of gender and it made me sad to even read your post :(


I’m going to, cause my aunt had mentioned maybe it’s depression? I just.. I feel awful about it and even worse for feeling this way if that makes sense? Like I feel like a terrible person.. I just I don’t want another girl

lamb_nodules 2 kids; United Kingdom 3728 posts
Mar 12th

I’ve never had gender disappointment, but I’d think you’d be aware - despite feeling it’s a boy - that it could be either gender. And, if your situation was so awful to begin with, I’d have made my decision based on my circumstance, not some hope for one gender or another. Pinning your happiness with this baby solely on that is outrageous. I’d be speaking to a therapist about your general well-being. 

Ohana❤ 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Nvr, NL, United States 1892 posts
Mar 12th


I had gender disappointment with my dd2...and little bit with dd3. My heart was always set on a boy. With dd2 I cried and cried. I did get over it quickly tho. With dd3 I didn't have time to really care about her gender for the simple fact we were going through health scares with my dh, so at that time I was just thankful she was healthy. After dd2 and dd3 were born their gender's did not affect my bond or my love for them. 

Now my dds are 7, 5, and 2 years old I just couldn't imagine my life any other way. I always wanted a son but didn't realize how badly I NEEDED my 3 girls. They have softened my heart and have changed me in so many good ways.

i hope you can move past these feelings and realize that she is just as special as if she were a boy. I'm sorry about the loss of your mom. That has to be hard. I agree with PP, I'd seek a therapist or something. 

Cake and Cats 1 child; Virginia 964 posts
Mar 12th

Being that you know the feeling of the loss of a child I'm sure you're not being ungrateful in the least. Seems like you have some pregnancy hormones and a lot going on right now. Talking to someone will help. 

Don't put too much thought in what others have to say about how YOU are feeling.

The Original Bob 4 kids; 4 angel babies; <3, CA, United States 37941 posts
Mar 13th

I had gender disappointment with my last DD, it took me awhile to get over it, even after she was born. I really wanted another boy and I knew she was gonna be my last, also at the time I didn't want another baby since my DD2 was around 3 months when I found out I was pregnant again and the pregnancy with DD3 was so painful, that didn't help my gender disappointment at all. I never developed a bond to her while I was pregnant and once she was born it took awhile. She'll be almost 3 in August and her and DD2 are the best of friends. She's the sweetest most cuddly baby with the prettiest smile and I couldn't imagine my life without her. You'll adjust, it just takes some time. 

bia. ., ., Portugal 102474 posts
Mar 14th

I'm sorry, I'm glad she's healthy though, feel better!

Leesi Due August 17; 2 kids; 3 angel babies; United States 269 posts
Apr 13th

Quoting Cake and Cats:
Being that you know the feeling of the loss of a child I'm sure you're not being ungrateful in the least. Seems like you have some pregnancy hormones and a lot going on right now. Talking to someone will help. 

Don't put too much thought in what others have to say about how YOU are feeling.


I actually spoke with a therapist and once the baby’s born I’m suppose to be getting on a mood stabilizer and a anti depressant. I appreciate your words. I’ve yet to grow a bond with her, it’s just going by soooo quick . I’m hoping the bond comes at birth though. I am grateful she’s healthy though. 

Leesi Due August 17; 2 kids; 3 angel babies; United States 269 posts
Apr 13th

Quoting Ohana❤:

I had gender disappointment with my dd2...and little bit with dd3. My heart was always set on a boy. With dd2 I cried and cried. I did get over it quickly tho. With dd3 I didn't have time to really care about her gender for the simple fact we were going through health scares with my dh, so at that time I was just thankful she was healthy. After dd2 and dd3 were born their gender's did not affect my bond or my love for them. 

Now my dds are 7, 5, and 2 years old I just couldn't imagine my life any other way. I always wanted a son but didn't realize how badly I NEEDED my 3 girls. They have softened my heart and have changed me in so many good ways.

i hope you can move past these feelings and realize that she is just as special as if she were a boy. I'm sorry about the loss of your mom. That has to be hard. I agree with PP, I'd seek a therapist or something. 


I have been seeking therapy, my therapist assured me my feelings are my feelings and well I can’t control them.. if we could no one would feel depressed lol. It’s relieving to hear about your experience, cus you actually experienced the same thing as me lol! Thank you for your condolences, and it gives me hope! I’ve yet to develop a bond with her, but from other mamas answers on this post I do see some people experience gender disappointment so I’m not alone, and they did develop a bond at birth or shortly after so it gives me plenty hope. 

Leesi Due August 17; 2 kids; 3 angel babies; United States 269 posts
Apr 13th

Quoting The Original Bob:
I had gender disappointment with my last DD, it took me awhile to get over it, even after she was born. I really wanted another boy and I knew she was gonna be my last, also at the time I didn't want another baby since my DD2 was around 3 months when I found out I was pregnant again and the pregnancy with DD3 was so painful, that didn't help my gender disappointment at all. I never developed a bond to her while I was pregnant and once she was born it took awhile. She'll be almost 3 in August and her and DD2 are the best of friends. She's the sweetest most cuddly baby with the prettiest smile and I couldn't imagine my life without her. You'll adjust, it just takes some time. 


Thank you, for sharing that. Gives me hope.. congratulations on your three princesses. Im glad you developed a bond eventually, I’m hoping for the same turn out. Glad to know I’m not alone in sharing the heartbreak over not having a son. I think it’s cus I raised my nephew and his mom up and moved across country when he was 6 and now I see him once a year IF that. And I think that’s why I long for a son so bad.