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Am I wrong? Williams and Owen's Mommy 2 kids; Augusta, Georgia 203 posts
Apr 23rd

My ex and I live in two different states and have two children together(7 and 4) and every other month we are supposed to meet halfway, about 4-5 hour car ride for both of us. Just over a year ago we met at the designated place and time, me with my Grandmother and my ex with his 8yr old child. Before this neither me nor my ex had ever shown up for these exchanges by ourselves, kind of an unspoken thing. Now when he showed up with only the 8yr old with him was during a sever storm. I made the decision to take the kids back home with me mostly because of the weather and my ex being the only adult riding with three children under 10. 



Several months later my ex took me back to court and i was made aware that it does not say we have to have another adult with us for exchanges and that i was in the wrong for taking the kids home although the judge did say he strongly suggested that my ex travel that distance with another adult. 
 
Fast forward to this month when we again exchanged the kids, my ex shows up with his 15 yr old niece as the other "adult" with three small children in the car. We argued and i told him that i felt he had just brought another child with him and how was that supposed to help in an emergency. We argued for about ten minutes about it while the children played and then he and the children left for home.
Am I wrong to be upset by this and feel like may be he is just setting me up? Please no negative comments
Cali_dreamer United States 56 posts
Apr 23rd

Why does he need another adult to be with him to take his kids? 

♥Jessie♥ TTC since Sep 2017; 4 kids; 2 angel babies; Idaho 13781 posts
Apr 23rd

If I am being honest I think you are being silly and have been in the wrong this whole time. He doesn't need another adult and is nothing to fight about. In the case of an emergency a 15 year old is definitely capable of caring for young children while he does what he has to do. He could have came alone though and there is nothing you could have done. I think the 'another adult' thing you have in your head is silly. I have traveled long distances with small children and just me. No problems.

Addi&Aria'smama 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Florissant, Missouri 8261 posts
Apr 23rd

I think the whole other adult thing is silly and to fight about it is ridiculous.  Yes it would be nice but nothing is stopping your kids or the other child from calling 911 if something happened. Also the 15 year old is more than capable of taking care of the kids. I have gone on long drives alone with my children. I usually prefer to have another person there but it isn't a requirement. I just get bored when alone and hate driving long distances. 

✴ Mamacita Miami, FL, United States 4041 posts
Apr 23rd

Yes, your being ridiculous. Im pretty sure that grown man is capable of driving a few hours alone. 

DaniellaEllaElla Due August 5 (boy); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Greenville, NC, United States 15131 posts
Apr 23rd

It's not in the papers that he HAS to have another adult with him. It was silly for you to have left the first time without exchanging the kids, and after having it brought up in court and the order not amending to include that stipulation, it's silly to start an argument about it. 

marmarissa Due November 28 (girl); 1 child; 2 angel babies; Ottawa, ON, Canada 7865 posts
Apr 23rd

Quoting DaniellaEllaElla:
It's not in the papers that he HAS to have another adult with him. It was silly for you to have left the first time without exchanging the kids, and after having it brought up in court and the order not amending to include that stipulation, it's silly to start an argument about it. 



Exclamation 

tinana+3 3 kids; Orlando, FL, Virgin Islands 46798 posts
status Apr 23rd

Quoting ♥Jessie♥:
If I am being honest I think you are being silly and have been in the wrong this whole time. He doesn't need another adult and is nothing to fight about. In the case of an emergency a 15 year old is definitely capable of caring for young children while he does what he has to do. He could have came alone though and there is nothing you could have done. I think the 'another adult' thing you have in your head is silly. I have traveled long distances with small children and just me. No problems.



Exclamation this, definitely. 

Williams and Owen's Mommy 2 kids; Augusta, Georgia 203 posts
Apr 23rd

ok so apparently i am wrong.    

DaniellaEllaElla Due August 5 (boy); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Greenville, NC, United States 15131 posts
Apr 23rd

I don't really know what you were trying to accomplish in starting an arguement. 

✴ Mamacita Miami, FL, United States 4041 posts
Apr 23rd

Quoting DaniellaEllaElla:
I don't really know what you were trying to accomplish in starting an arguement. 


Right? Im pretty sure last time he checked he was grown and didnt need permission to travel alone. 

Williams and Owen's Mommy 2 kids; Augusta, Georgia 203 posts
Apr 23rd

the argument started when i stated i didn't like the idea of him traveling with a 15 yr old. and the three children. i guess i just wanted him to see my point. which now im seeing i may not have a legitimate one. Yes he is supposedly a grown man but he works nights and we choose the next day for visitation. He gets his work schedule a year in advance and gets to choose when we meet to exchange the children. He has driven his car into a ditch twice on the way home from his work which is only a 45min drive. So it makes me a little worried for him to drive 4 hours to meet and then 4 hours back. But maybe i have been thinking about it wrong and need to relax and back off a bit 

lamb_nodules 2 kids; United Kingdom 3702 posts
Apr 23rd

Quoting Williams and Owen's Mommy:
ok so apparently i am wrong.    


Seems that way. 

A.V.N. 2 kids; 4172 posts
Apr 23rd

Quoting Williams and Owen's Mommy:
the argument started when i stated i didn't like the idea of him traveling with a 15 yr old. and the three children. i guess i just wanted him to see my point. which now im seeing i may not have a legitimate one. Yes he is supposedly a grown man but he works nights and we choose the next day for visitation. He gets his work schedule a year in advance and gets to choose when we meet to exchange the children. He has driven his car into a ditch twice on the way home from his work which is only a 45min drive. So it makes me a little worried for him to drive 4 hours to meet and then 4 hours back. But maybe i have been thinking about it wrong and need to relax and back off a bit 


Can you change the exchange day so that it's not after a work night ? I can see why you'd be concerned about him driving that distance on no sleep.  Is this something you two can work out?

DaniellaEllaElla Due August 5 (boy); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Greenville, NC, United States 15131 posts
Apr 23rd

Quoting Williams and Owen's Mommy:
the argument started when i stated i didn't like the idea of him traveling with a 15 yr old. and the three children. i guess i just wanted him to see my point. which now im seeing i may not have a legitimate one. Yes he is supposedly a grown man but he works nights and we choose the next day for visitation. He gets his work schedule a year in advance and gets to choose when we meet to exchange the children. He has driven his car into a ditch twice on the way home from his work which is only a 45min drive. So it makes me a little worried for him to drive 4 hours to meet and then 4 hours back. But maybe i have been thinking about it wrong and need to relax and back off a bit 


And if you brought it up in court and the judge didn't see fit to make another adult mandatory, then yes, you have to drop it.