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I just snapped FashionJunky 1 child; 1 angel baby; New Jersey 868 posts
5 days ago

I told SO to leave! I am just so frustrated that I couldn't be around him anymore. I'm constantly taking care of our 3 month old. SO is just there and says "tell me what you want me to do."...ok cool..after the first month I feel like he should have it down pack. He doesn't. Or doesn't want to. How am I still telling u that the trash goes out Monday's & Thursday's? That I need you to help make bottles when I'm putting the baby to sleep? He never gets up in the middle of the night unless I kick him or something. And then he's barely paying attention feeding our son so I'm up anyways. I'm exhausted cause I'm always doing everything! And tonight I just lost it after I was putting the baby to sleep and he made himself a plate of dinner & started to eat it. What?!? There was so much stuff to do. Make a bottle, take the trash out, do some dishes...anything but eat right next to me when I'm starving!! Ugghhhh!!! So I screamed and said get out!

& my birthday is tomorrow. Great. Just great. 

End rant 

fluffyruffruff 4 kids; United States 3925 posts
5 days ago

Is he just a pos? Are you depressed? I dont understand...

FashionJunky 1 child; 1 angel baby; New Jersey 868 posts
5 days ago

Quoting fluffyruffruff:
Is he just a pos? Are you depressed? I dont understand...


I'm just fed up and pissed. He isn't a pos just clueless and I feel like he shouldn't be by now. 

fluffyruffruff 4 kids; United States 3925 posts
5 days ago

Quoting FashionJunky:

I'm just fed up and pissed. He isn't a pos just clueless and I feel like he shouldn't be by now. 


Not trying to excuse the behavior, but men are dense and pretty clueless unless we tell them specifically what we expect from them... Like children. Its frustrating, but why do you think the stereotypical "honey-do list" is a thing? Men need us to tell them what we need... Theyre horrible at empathy... For the most part.

Obviously there are some menout there who are different. But as a whole, men suck at thinking about people other than themselves.

FashionJunky 1 child; 1 angel baby; New Jersey 868 posts
5 days ago

Quoting fluffyruffruff:

Not trying to excuse the behavior, but men are dense and pretty clueless unless we tell them specifically what we expect from them... Like children. Its frustrating, but why do you think the stereotypical "honey-do list" is a thing? Men need us to tell them what we need... Theyre horrible at empathy... For the most part.

Obviously there are some menout there who are different. But as a whole, men suck at thinking about people other than themselves.


I see that. I know that but yet it still gets me some nights. I just get so tired of repeating myself. 

Mαяcєℓιηє 2 kids; 1 angel baby; I don't want to rule the Nightosphere, WV, United States 9599 posts
5 days ago

Quoting fluffyruffruff:

Not trying to excuse the behavior, but men are dense and pretty clueless unless we tell them specifically what we expect from them... Like children. Its frustrating, but why do you think the stereotypical "honey-do list" is a thing? Men need us to tell them what we need... Theyre horrible at empathy... For the most part.

Obviously there are some menout there who are different. But as a whole, men suck at thinking about people other than themselves.


Yep. I agree with this. Took the words right out of my mouth..

NikkiLeAnne 3 kids; Illinois 3267 posts
5 days ago

I completely understand the frustration. With our first together, I told my fiancé to get out too. I took it back immediately. We are now on baby number two together and he's still clueless so I give up. He's a wonderful father though, so I give him that.

✩ ℒioȵεsȿ Due April 8 (boy); 96485 posts
5 days ago

Most men are clueless to all things baby, especially when you just expect them to know what to do. Mothering doesn't come naturally to them, especially when the babies are so young. Once you cool off I would just start spoon feeding him everything you need him to do. 

bia. 3 kids; ., ., Portugal 101241 posts
5 days ago

It's been 3 months, not 3 days...he should know at least some things...I don't blame you for being annoyed. Unknown

Drew90 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Hodgdon, ME, United States 6633 posts
5 days ago

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but this really sounds like a huge overreaction to me.... 
Sit down and make a list of "chores"  including baby responsibilities and divide it up.  


And when he does get up at night, don't get up with him and make him feel like he's doing everything wrong. Jesus... 

lamb_nodules 2 kids; United Kingdom 3323 posts
status 4 days ago

Quoting Drew90:
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but this really sounds like a huge overreaction to me.... 
Sit down and make a list of "chores"  including baby responsibilities and divide it up.  


And when he does get up at night, don't get up with him and make him feel like he's doing everything wrong. Jesus... 


I agree with this. Sorry, OP.  Embarassed Sounds like you're both having some difficulty getting into the rhythm with the newborn, and you might be emotional, which is understandable. But sounds like he wants to help and he'll do what needs doing, he's just not doing it the way you'd want him to. So, he forgot the rubbish day. Really not the end of the world. Also, I know this is your first (and his!), but you don't have to be noon-alert to feed a baby in the middle of the night. I fed mine barely awake half the time. Give him some credit and a break. 

FashionJunky 1 child; 1 angel baby; New Jersey 868 posts
4 days ago

Thanks ladies. I'm taking everyone's advice and just trying to breathe and relax. I know he can't read my mind but I was just hoping he kept up with me. I see now that it isn't that easy for dads. 

S&R Besotted 2 kids; United States 4981 posts
4 days ago

Quoting FashionJunky:
Thanks ladies. I'm taking everyone's advice and just trying to breathe and relax. I know he can't read my mind but I was just hoping he kept up with me. I see now that it isn't that easy for dads. 


Well, not all dads. 

Some eventually get it. Like, SO when we had our daughter. She was our first. THe first 6 months were very hard on our relationship. We didnt COMMUNICATE. You need to do that. I know your tired of repeating yourself but keeping open communication will help with these blow up moments and your feeling like he isnt doing anything. SO needed me to tell him a lot what to do. After countless talks and listening to his point of view he gets it wayyy more than he did at first. But hey...He is your first...Its a learning curve for both of you on your own, but also TOGETHER as a couple. Its not easy and I know your frustrated but he clearly was willing to help when he said, just tell me what you want me to do. There are a lot of men who wouldnt give a f**k. Why wouldnt he eat when he was hungry? I mean, maybe he wanted to eat really quick before he did stuff. And you shouldnt be starving. I know a baby is hard work but you have to take care of yourself. You've got to find time to eat, and it helps to have power bars or something on hand in times where it seems impossible. That was the hardest for me, making myself eat. 

Now SO and I are on our second and sometimes i still ask him to do some stuff, because he isnt a mind reader. Other times dude just does it on his own. Hes always been hands on but keeping open communication has really helped out a ton. We discuss the problems before they get out of hand. :D GOodluck hun *hugs*