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Gone * Magnesium C, IL, United States 8499 posts
Aug 8th '14

 

RJD5 Due December 30 (girl); 1 child; United States 2984 posts
Aug 8th '14

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Your coworker is absolutely acting inappropriately. I can't believe she is being so heartless in this situation. Unfortunately, I'm not sure is the best move here - it may come back to bite you in the butt; especially if she gets a warning or something and you're still working with her. Also, I'm not sure if they can do anything if it wasn't during work hours while on the job. But I say do what you need to.

Ms.Mrs. 2 kids; United States 4459 posts
Aug 8th '14

Ya, I wouldn't do anything retaliatory, and I've never heard of someone taking time off for a miscarriage?  Maybe you were far enough along that it required medical treatment but even so, if it is policy that you need to find someone to cover your shift, then you should have done that.  Either way, hope you feel better. 

♥ Mrs. S ♥ Due September 20; 2 kids; Venezuela 13673 posts
Aug 8th '14

Quoting Ms.Mrs.:
Ya, I wouldn't do anything retaliatory, and I've never heard of someone taking time off for a miscarriage?  Maybe you were far enough along that it required medical treatment but even so, if it is policy that you need to find someone to cover your shift, then you should have done that.  Either way, hope you feel better. 


Have you ever had a miscarriage? 
OP I'm sorry you are going through all of this. :( 

Megan❤ TTC since Jun 2013; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 1462 posts
Aug 8th '14

First, I'm so sorry for your loss hon. :( 

Second, your coworker is a d**k and had no reason to say any of those hurtful things to you. I'll say this though, I've had my share of UTIs, and I haven't had one in a long time, but they are no joke.. They are painful and made me miserable when I had them.. But there is no greater pain than losing your child regardless of how far along you were in a pregnancy or how old the child is after it's born.. The pain is different, and healing from a UTI is a walk in the park compared to losing a baby. 

And unless she said those things to you at work, there's nothing you can really do about it unfortunately. But karma will get her eventually.

Just Emily :) Due November 13; 2 kids; Aberdeen, Sd, United States 15126 posts
Aug 8th '14

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's horrible how hurtful some people can be. I agree about not saying anything though or being really careful about it if you do. I had a guy when I was pregnant with ds tells things like he had a coat hanger I could sit on and that the father (now dh) should have slipped the pill in my eggs the next morning and that he could shove me down the stairs if I want. It sucks but I wasn't going to say anything because I didn't want to make it worse. One of the other girls we worked with was offended and said something for me and he was banned from talking to me in class but we lived in the same barracks so it only made things worse outside of class. It sucks that people can be horrible and get away with it and your the bad guy if you say anything

Oh Why Not TTC since Mar 2016; 1 child; Hallandale beach, Fl, United States 8431 posts
Aug 8th '14

Quoting Ms.Mrs.:
Ya, I wouldn't do anything retaliatory, and I've never heard of someone taking time off for a miscarriage?  Maybe you were far enough along that it required medical treatment but even so, if it is policy that you need to find someone to cover your shift, then you should have done that.  Either way, hope you feel better. 


Exclamation

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 23103 posts
Aug 8th '14

I'm so sorry for you being in this situation. 

Jacob'sKeeper 2 kids; some little town, MT, United States 9806 posts
Aug 8th '14

She probably has some pretty shitty stuff going on in her life for her to be so horrible for you. It's def not right for her to be bringing you down after going through a miscarriage. I don't think there is anything you can do about her actions towards you, it would be more or less "tattling". The best thing to do is just distance yourself from her. I would probably confront her and tell her to mind her own damn business, but that always gets me in trouble lol. On another note, be very careful what you post on social networks about work. I have heard of people getting fired for saying things about their work/workers. Even if they don't name names.  

Ms.Mrs. 2 kids; United States 4459 posts
Aug 8th '14

Quoting JanuaryBabe15:

I went back to work 9hrs after I miscarried, continued to bleed for 12days (cramps/all) and I definitely didn't want to be at work especially to care for someone else (yes, sounds horrible yet I was a caregiver for the elderly) I only went in bc I felt bad to call off such late notice. I did end up calling my employer at work in tears and took the night off yet worked my normal morning shift. After my 2nd miscarriage, beginning the miscarriage at my clients home that's when I quit my job.. It was too much. I definitely had the emotional support I needed from my family ect. Yet I didn't take time off before bc our family needed the extra income I was bringing in. Truly hope you brush off her words, hope you get to feeling better this wkend. So sorry for your loss. 


Did your husband get time off to grieve? 

Ms.Mrs. 2 kids; United States 4459 posts
Aug 8th '14

Quoting ♥ Mrs. S ♥:

Have you ever had a miscarriage? 
OP I'm sorry you are going through all of this. :( 


Nope.  But I've had babies and other then the emergency c section, I never missed a day of class with my regular birth. 

♡☆º×ß¡±©µ×º☆♡ 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Centralia, Wa, United States 49854 posts
Aug 8th '14

Quoting Ms.Mrs.:
Ya, I wouldn't do anything retaliatory, and I've never heard of someone taking time off for a miscarriage?  Maybe you were far enough along that it required medical treatment but even so, if it is policy that you need to find someone to cover your shift, then you should have done that.  Either way, hope you feel better. 


This ...I'm sorry you're going through this but at the same time if you don't want statements made towards you you shouldn't make passive aggressive statements towards others no matter what the situation

mɑκαnɑni ~, OO, United States 76260 posts
Aug 8th '14

Quoting [Pinky & the [B] rain.:
I called my OB this morning around 9am but never heard back so I called them at 11am and doctor still hadn't left me a message. I was suppose to let my supervisor know before noon if I was coming in tonight or not. Well I didn't hear anything back till 2:15pm and they said I can return back on Monday. I let my supervisor know and she was pissed because it was "last minute" and she didn't say anything else.

So I text my coworker to let her know what was going on and she replied back saying some hurtful things. Like its bull crap I'm not able to return to work so I can do all the grunk work for her (lifting, showers, passing meds. etc) and I had Monday-today to recover even thought I'm still bleeding heavily & cramping/using a heating pad and Tylenol to reduce pain but not 100% relief. She tells me I'm responsible for finding someone to cover for me and that I should just get over it..of course I'm to nice NOT to flip on her..

I put something on Facebook because I'm frustrated with her at this point. I don't indulge names but said I can't wrap my head around someone telling me I should be over my miscarriage and it was pretty much summed up to that. She replies back saying I had all week to recover..ladedade and I shouldn't be out running around..I went and picked up my pay check went to the doctors office for another ultrasound and came home..she also says she hopes I lose my job.

Seriously thinking about turning this b***h in for inappropriate conduct with coworkers or something. She posted something about how she has a bad UTI and is on 3 different types of medication for it and people get days off from work for bleeding or a pulled muscle. :\ I don't know what I ever did to her but I saved all the text messages she sent me while harashing me to bring to my supervisor. What is wrong with the world? (Do not quote)


Sorry.
She hasn't done anything that would get her in trouble. Delete her from Facebook. 

Magnesium C, IL, United States 8499 posts
Aug 8th '14

Quoting ☆º×ß¡±©µ×º☆:

This ...I'm sorry you're going through this but at the same time if you don't want statements made towards you you shouldn't make passive aggressive statements towards others no matter what the situation


I hadn't even said a word to her she's the one who lashed out on me for no reason. I didn't request time off its policy: work Monday-Thursday and the following Monday-Thursday you're off. This was my off week and considerably difficult miscarriage for SO and I so I'm not physically or emotionally ready to return to work yet. Plus my doctor hasn't released me and won't till Monday.

♡☆º×ß¡±©µ×º☆♡ 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Centralia, Wa, United States 49854 posts
Aug 8th '14

Quoting [Pinky & the [B] rain.:

I hadn't even said a word to her she's the one who lashed out on me for no reason. I didn't request time off its policy: work Monday-Thursday and the following Monday-Thursday you're off. This was my off week and considerably difficult miscarriage for SO and I so I'm not physically or emotionally ready to return to work yet. Plus my doctor hasn't released me and won't till Monday.


Didn't you say you posted something on fb and she responded?