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Cast Your Vote:

    • Yes -- Votes: 26
    • No -- Votes: 28
    • Only during the first 3 months -- Votes: 2
Good Queen Bess Due December 27; 2 kids; Ontario 49564 posts
Sep 22nd '13
Quoting NatalieBethCole:" Thank you everyone but if you paid attention it looks like I need to remind you: My first 4 kids have ... [snip!] ... for men in my kids' lives. We are a christian family. Please give a vote and a quick reason why YOU voted that. Thank you."


Actually, you didn't mention anything about your first 4 having all the same father, and you didn't mention the fact that he passed away.



I'm just pointing out that less than 8 weeks ago, you were with one guy, it's a little soon to bring another guy into your children's lives.



There isn't anything wrong with dating while pregnant, but you were just in a relationship that really hurt you.

-BLT- Due May 20; 1 child; St Louis, Missouri 2572 posts
Sep 22nd '13

To me, it seems like your thought process is a little skewed. How many kids? You're in your 5th pregnancy with how many dads? You decided during your 4th pregnancy that you would just keep having kids until you're at least 30 because you like being pregnant? How are you supporting these kids? I have no problem with people having lots of kids if they can support them. As others have said, I would worry about bringing another man into your kids' lives and the affect it is having on them. I'm not crazy about the idea of you just deciding how long you're going to have kids when you're not even in a stable and committed relationship. I don't even think it's wrong to date while pregnant, but you're only 8 weeks. That means you thought everything was okay 6 weeks ago when you were getting pregnant. Seems a little rushed to me.

NatalieBethCole Due May 2; 4 kids; Cedar Rapids, 6 posts
Sep 22nd '13

I have been with 2 people in 11 years everyone. I just feel I need to point that out. I have 4 kids- ages: 10, 6,5,8 months and I am 8 weeks along.

We are talking about "should I START dating this guy that is interested in me?" He would make the third person in 11 years and again he is a close friend too. I haven't even kissed this guy. I am asking for advice.

Thanks for your reasons but please keep in mind I DO think of my children first. I am 28 years old, widowed, and I have my children's welfare at heart before anything else.

Good Queen Bess Due December 27; 2 kids; Ontario 49564 posts
Sep 22nd '13
Quoting NatalieBethCole:" I have been with 2 people in 11 years everyone. I just feel I need to point that out. I have 4 kids- ... [snip!] ... I DO think of my children first. I am 28 years old, widowed, and I have my children's welfare at heart before anything else."


No, I wouldn't in this case.

NavyBrat Due March 12 (boy); 1 child; Buna, Texas 151 posts
Sep 22nd '13

I am so sorry for your lose, even if it was a while back. I have lost friends and family over seas as well. Apparently you are self suffecient if you have only had one relationship since your SO's death. I agree about the revolving door thing, my sister is that way and has had her girls call so many different guys dad it's insane. But you don't have to involve them in your kids lives until you feel more comfortable. I think you should date if you want to. There is a time to move on and at least you aren't listening to this ones excuses for cheating because he is your child's father. Just keep your kids first and remember they know when you are happy so sometimes you have to do things for you too. Just be careful and continue loving your babies. Give the guy a chance.

-BLT- Due May 20; 1 child; St Louis, Missouri 2572 posts
Sep 22nd '13
Quoting NatalieBethCole:" I have been with 2 people in 11 years everyone. I just feel I need to point that out. I have 4 kids- ... [snip!] ... I DO think of my children first. I am 28 years old, widowed, and I have my children's welfare at heart before anything else."


Gotcha. I understand your reasoning about not being with a ton of guys, etc., but look at your kids ages. You're with your husband and get pregnant with #4 who is 8 months old. You've been with the last guy for 7 months and are pregnant again and now he's gone. Now guy #3. Did you start seeing guy #2 when your baby was only a month old? And your husband had recently passed?

NatalieBethCole Due May 2; 4 kids; Cedar Rapids, 6 posts
Sep 22nd '13

Clarifying yet again: I was widowed. My husband passed on. He fathered 4 kids with me. He died while I was pregnant with my last child. That child is 8 months old. Does that explain enough or must I describe in gory detail how my wonderful husband- a loving father- was killed? Some of you must know some pretty wild women, I am not one of them. The child I am NEWLY pregnant with has a different father. Was my life supposed to end with my husband's death? This is a personal, painful matter and I didn't ask your opinion on 'how many fathers...' I asked for opinions on dating while pregnant. I have not even STARTED dating. I just want an opinion. Yes or No. Thanks.

Baby Brain 1 child; 1 angel baby; Alberta 517 posts
Sep 22nd '13

I think no. If you and this man actually have feelings for each other. Making a pact that staying on a friends level at least until after the pregnany would be smart. Give yourselves time to get to know one another, on a purely innocent level. And give your kids time to understand your last boyfriend is no longer in the picture. Your kids and baby come first.
In my opinion, getting into a new relationship after only six weeks (without a pregnancy) is far to fast. Sorry to hear about their daddy.. :(

Good Queen Bess Due December 27; 2 kids; Ontario 49564 posts
Sep 22nd '13
Quoting NatalieBethCole:" Clarifying yet again: I was widowed. My husband passed on. He fathered 4 kids with me. He died while ... [snip!] ... I asked for opinions on dating while pregnant. I have not even STARTED dating. I just want an opinion. Yes or No. Thanks."


We get it, your husband passed away. Give your children some room to grieve before you bring ANOTHER guy into their lives.



Within the last 2 years, they lost a father, gained a new sibling, gained their mom's new boyfriend, lost mom's new boyfriend and are about to have another guy AND another baby into their lives? Put yourself in their place for a moment....

NatalieBethCole Due May 2; 4 kids; Cedar Rapids, 6 posts
Sep 22nd '13

Exactly my thoughts too so far. You see; I've been telling the man who is interested in me that I feel it is all too fast for me. I was widowed at 6 weeks pregnant last time so it took a year for me to even have coffee with this ones father. It helped we had been friends for many years.

I keep telling him perhaps when I have this child we can talk more about a date. I have all of my attention on my kids right now though and that is where I want it. I still don't feel I made a mistake, I feel he did. This baby will have a sister and brothers and a mother that love him or her very much and right now we don't need a 'stand in'. I am financially, physically, mentally and emotionally stable.

Lagertha TTC since Jan 2016; 2 kids; Brisbane, Australia 3276 posts
Sep 22nd '13

I think it's perfectly fine. Having children, and especially being pregnant now, will weed out a lot of the idiots who are just wanting short term flings. I'd be very wary though, of those who are just using you. I think as long as you take it slow, and be very careful, you'll be fine!

Snotface 1 child; Storybrooke, ME, United States 34017 posts
Sep 22nd '13

TL;DR yet but going off of topic alone, I personally wouldn't. I would focus on my pregnancy and baby. I don't have anything against women who do date while pregnant if it's gone about the right way.

Kaylees mommy 50 kids; North Dakota 323 posts
Sep 22nd '13
Quoting NatalieBethCole:" After a few years of just concentrating on parenting and having the most rewarding and comfortable life ... [snip!] ... I feel gullable but am happy for the experience so I know what to avoid in the future. Anyways I got the best part of him ;)"


I see no problem with dating while pregnant but in your case I wouldn't you have gone through so much recently. I would let your heart heal from all the pain and grief that you have recently gone through focus on your kids, pregnancy and yourself. Allow your heart to heal and enjoy those babies of yours! I wish you all the best with whatever you decide and I'm so sorry for your loss.

JamieLynn Beyer Due December 22 (boy); La Junta, Colorado 83 posts
Sep 22nd '13
Quoting NavyBrat:" I am so sorry for your lose, even if it was a while back. I have lost friends and family over seas as ... [snip!] ... happy so sometimes you have to do things for you too. Just be careful and continue loving your babies. Give the guy a chance."


I like this perspective on the situation. No reason to hurt and not move on yourself, but consider holding out for him to be involved in the kids lives. A father figure is important, but more important is a father figure that will stick around and set a good example. I wish you luck and I'm sorry for your circumstances as of late.

hnwilliams2 Due December 21 (girl); New Market, 8 posts
Sep 22nd '13

I'm 19 y/o and pregnant with my first child. Her father cheated on me multiple times and when I was 14 weeks pregnant I got with a guy I knew in high school. He has been there since that moment with her and I'm glad I chose to date.