Quoting BakerBabe (;:" Lol yeah. Cause it's that easy. To just move out. Bahahahaha with a minimum wage job & my in laws ... [snip!] ... happen overnight. I still have to change my name & shit so we can even get our joint bank account and all that fun stuff."
No shit, shit ain't cheap, that's why they want their money.
You don't HAVE to change your name to have a joint bank account, SO and I have one and we aren't even married.
Like another mama suggested, get a small loan, pay them back & start saving to move out.
They're clearly doing you a favor letting you stay there, instead of actually kick your ass to the curb. It's obvious they don't owe you anything.
Quoting lamr - 02-08-13-21:" Pay them their money back. If its between paying them back, and gas money to see your friends, they should get their money, IMO."
The problem here is, it's not between friends & paying them back.
We CAN do both. We have been. They just assume that we should be giving them the whole check instead of just a certain amount & that even then we shouldn't be spending the gas money to see anyone. Uhm no. If they're going to do that shit, then of course I'm gunna wanna gtfo. I'm not going to sit around at the house 100% of the time, it's just not going to happen.
Quoting BakerBabe (;:" The problem here is, it's not between friends & paying them back. We CAN do both. We have been. ... [snip!] ... then of course I'm gunna wanna gtfo. I'm not going to sit around at the house 100% of the time, it's just not going to happen."
Ok, so if they don't come to YOU as an adult to work something out, why don't you (or your husband, since he's the one that owes them) go to them to try and work something out?
Clearly you owe them thousands of dollars if they want his whole check.
My SO's parents owe me about a grand and you bet your ass I want them to pay me back, but I know they literally can't, and SO doesnt want them to just pay me and risk losing their house I would be happy if they'd give me fuckin $20 a week but I know it won't happen.
Quoting Super Mommy!:" You owe them money, that should be your first priority. You sound childish."
Lmfao, is anyone paying attention? We were paying them back every week... They've just decided that now they should get the whole damn check. & We shouldn't visit our friends & shit with what we have left AFTER they take the whole damn check.
Quoting BakerBabe (;:" Lmfao, is anyone paying attention? We were paying them back every week... They've just decided that ... [snip!] ... whole damn check. & We shouldn't visit our friends & shit with what we have left AFTER they take the whole damn check."
Why can't your friends come visit you?
Quoting Redneck Mamma:" I asked that same thing and got ignored. If they were really her friends they could come hang out with her instead of her always driving to see them. "
meh, she just wants to b***h.
I'm her sister and know her in-law's they are that crazy. His whole freaking check is a bit much considering they didn't borrow that much from them. It's not that they weren't paying them back, it's as soon as he got a job they started taking the whole check without even giving them a chance to make a payment plan and such.
And no-one here can say they would be okay with having to tell someone all their expenses and show them receipts and stuff. Screw that, I've lived with my MIL and currently live with my parents and I pay them both rent. We give them the rent in seperate checks because we still have stuff to pay. Yes we pay my parents for rent and utilities but we also have bills of our own and pay for our own food and other necessities. You don't see me going to them and showing them receipts of what I buy, they don't care. As long as we are paying them a bit of money each check and not blowing a whole check on fast food then it shouldn't matter. Also as adults they've earned the right to go where they want when they want, yes they live in their house but they shouldn't be told oh you can't go this place or that place.
And yes, the simple thing is move out..but it's not that easy.
Quoting [JiLLiAN]:" This all sounds good. It depends on a lot of factors, how much do you owe? How often are you paying ... [snip!] ... If she's acting that nuts, there's probably been issues in the past, or what you're paying them clearly isn't working out."
We pay them every week. & no, they've really always been kindof nuts about it. & it's a lot, because it's basically just payments on his truck from back when he was unemployed. We paid as much as we possibly could. It's not a set amount it was just what we could which has been about 150-200. & then we use whats left of his check for gas to get him to work & MY check to go & see our friends and even that is a once a week thing. They still see it as just a we shouldn't go out at all kindof a thing. But when they drive me crazy like this, we just want to get out as much as possible just to avoid the constant banter, where ya goin, what are you doing? Gahhh.
(My mother in law has always been a little crazy. DH had to sleep on the couch when I moved in because we weren't married yet & we weren't even allowed to change in the same room, or be in the same room with the door closed... They never have trusted us for some unknown friggin reason.)
Quoting Naturally Alternative:" Yeah it sounds like there is either more to the story or they really are bat shit crazy and you want ... [snip!] ... crazy and you want as far away from them as possible... and once you pay them off, I'd never borrow money from them again..."
We're not going to... because this is utter bullshit. Back then it was a necessary evil. Because DH had to have his truck to get back and forth to work.
Quoting Redneck Mamma:" Why would they be taking more than what is owed?"
Because they are crazy? Hell if I know but I know they don't owe him enough to take every single bit of his check every week. I know they couldn't have borrowed that much because his parents aren't exactly rich so they couldn't have borrowed that much from them. He makes $300-400 a check, I'm guessing.
Quoting BakerBabe (;:" We pay them every week. & no, they've really always been kindof nuts about it. & it's a lot, ... [snip!] ... in the same room, or be in the same room with the door closed... They never have trusted us for some unknown friggin reason.)"
Not believing in sex before marriage isn't crazy, and you should be happy they let you move in there at all. That would be the day I let my MARRIED child and his WIFE live in my home. If they fell on hard times, and needed to stay for a bit, fine. But knowing they can't get their own place in the first place, and wanting to get married and expect to live here? No way.
Can you get a loan to pay them back? Then you can work out a payment plan with a bank.
Quoting [JiLLiAN]:" No shit, shit ain't cheap, that's why they want their money. You don't HAVE to change your name to ... [snip!] ... you a favor letting you stay there, instead of actually kick your ass to the curb. It's obvious they don't owe you anything. "
Lol no, I don't have to change my name to get a joint bank account. However I will be changing my name when I get my marriage license back, so it would be stupid as shit to get a bank account with my maiden name, have a card that says my maiden name, & then have to get it changed when I get my name changed in a damn week. roflmao
I'm late in commenting on this, but parents will treat their kids like kids as long as they live with them. They will try to control every move their child makes. Move out if you don't like it. Perhaps invest in a finance class so that you can learn what is really important to spend your money on. Even people who work at Tbell can afford one bedroom apartments around here. I know different areas cost different, but regardless. You two should figure something out, or it will never get better.
Quoting Redneck Mamma:" Is there low income housing where you live? I know its not idea but its better than living there if ... [snip!] ... have to extra for it and the internet is kind of a necessity since we do all our bill pay online but its not but 60 a month. "
We're looking into it... We're looking into roomates, hell ANYTHING at this point. We're thinking maybe around tax return time when we have something substantial, ya know?
Quoting melindapple:" I'm late in commenting on this, but parents will treat their kids like kids as long as they live with ... [snip!] ... here. I know different areas cost different, but regardless. You two should figure something out, or it will never get better."
And she doesn't have kids, so she could find another job, even if it's another minimum wage job. or serving/bartending..
when you're married, his debt becomes your debt, do all you can to pay it back.