Cast Your Vote:
- Tell me -- Votes: 34
- Don't tell me -- Votes: 40
- Other -- Votes: 0
If your husband/SO cheated on you years ago, before marriage, before kids, near the start of the relationship, would you want to know NOW, assuming it's been 5+ years since it happened?
Some clarifications, things are GREAT now. You are happy. It's never happened again. He regrets it, he'd never do it again, you are both in an almost perfect relationship now and have been for years since. There were no pregnancies, STD's, or long lasting consequences and the person he cheated with is not at all a part of your lives now nor is that any real chance they would be again (lets say they live somewhere totally different).
So, in other words, it can't came back and bite you in the ass now, and you are both very happy NOW. Would you want him to come clean NOW and risk ruining everything you have, or do you feel that since it's in the past so long ago, it doesn't really matter? I know that ideally it would have come out when it happened, but lets just assume it never did, lol.
If you want to add, if you DID want him to tell you, could you forgive him for it?
I'm a more forgiving person than most I've noticed, but I'd probably let it go.
UNLESS we had been together for a year or more and he did it. If we had just started our relationship or only a few months in and it wasn't that serious yet, I'd just drop it and not think about it.
Don't tell me, ignorance is bliss in a situation like that. It happened years ago, he won't do it again, and there's no way of me finding out...Take it to the grave.
I mean, I found out DH was going on dates while we were dating, it was a long distance and online relationship, but those dates never went anywhere. It hurts to think about, but I know he wouldn't do it now.
So I dunno.
No. I think it would be selfish of him to tell me.
I would want to know. Simply because I think full honesty is required i relationships and everything eventually comes out in time. My husband and I have shared all our deepest darkest secrets from the past. I would of course forgive him.
I don't know. I cheated on my husband before we were married with my ex. I was torn between them both. I do not feel he needs to know at all. It wouldn't change a thing and honestly I think he'd resent me. We've been together twelve years now, so I'm just leaving it dormant.
Quoting Jennybananna:" I would want to know. Simply because I think full honesty is required i relationships and everything ... [snip!] ... comes out in time. My husband and I have shared all our deepest darkest secrets from the past. I would of course forgive him. "
I have been in this situation kinda and yes I forgave him but it was VERY hard.
I would not want to know especially if it was before we were an item.
I believe my SO cheated when we first got together. I got over it though because he's changed throughout the years and I know he really loves me now. Back then, he barely knew me. If he admitted to it today, I don't think I'd be mad...just disappointed that he lied about it for so long. But even then, I'd rather him admit it than continue lying.
I don't think I would want to know, given all of those circumstances. And I'm not sure why he would really want to tell me at that point either.
<blockquote><b>Quoting BOB MARLEY
Quoting ☮Hippie Jesus☮:" I don't think I would want to know, given all of those circumstances. And I'm not sure why he would really want to tell me at that point either."
I don't think in this case he "wants" to tell you. It's more about do you think he SHOULD. Would you want him to? I doubt he'd want to by that point, haha
I would NOT want to know. I was actually in a similar situation. DH and I had been together about 2 1/2 years at that point and he told me that he cheated when we had been together for a few months, and it was once and it never happened again after that. I wish he hadn't told me.