This is horrible. I wouldn't stand for that and I'd be gone. If he doesn't see how that could possibly be hurtful than he is blinded by his own shiny pedestal he's built for himself. You deserve above and beyond this man. Contrary to your husband's belief, it looks like you are the one who settled. Not him.
Wooooooow from everything that has been stated.... it really seems like you need to get your shit in order and leave. It is not okay what he is doing and how he is treating you. He is placing you way below him and it is not okay. He is degrading you. It is sickening and I really fear that the more he does this the more you are going to feel stuck.... please leave before you feel you have nowhere to go or are so emotionally abused you feel like you have no one left in this world. You are better than this, you are better than HIM. **hugs**