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Am I over-reacting? MAAAMMEEE!!! TTC since Mar 2016; 1 child; Hobe Sound, FL, United States 841 posts
Jul 8th '13

So I've been talking to a guy for a little over a month now. He does not have children. My 23 month old threw dog food everywhere and I took a picture instead of punishing her. He said I needed to yell at her or spank her so she knows she did something wrong. YES, he has a point...but why is he giving me parenting advice? And basically telling me he thinks I am doing it wrong. I feel like she's still too young for spankings. I don't why it offended me, it just did. He wasn't being malicious, but I feel like a faint line was crossed. Am I over-reacting?

Faye's Mama 1 child; Springfield, MO, United States 4569 posts
Jul 8th '13

No, IMO.
I'd tell him to shut the f**k up and not worry since its not his kid to worry about.

GavinsMomJohnnysWife 2 kids; Texas 2789 posts
Jul 8th '13

He's not her dad, he isn't even a parent. Tell him to take his parenting advice and shove it. That would piss me off. Yelling at your child no, spanking no, telling them no no and both of you picking it up YES.

MAAAMMEEE!!! TTC since Mar 2016; 1 child; Hobe Sound, FL, United States 841 posts
Jul 8th '13

That's what I was thinking! I don't think he knows me well enough to really say anything!

Booger & Bubba's Mommy 18 kids; Illinois 8136 posts
Jul 8th '13

No, it would probably be a deal breaker for me. Having been together for a month & thinking he can tell me how to raise my child?? Hell NO.

MAAAMMEEE!!! TTC since Mar 2016; 1 child; Hobe Sound, FL, United States 841 posts
Jul 8th '13
Quoting Booger & Bubba's Mommy:" No, it would probably be a deal breaker for me. Having been together for a month & thinking he can tell me how to raise my child?? Hell NO."


That's the crazy thing! We aren't even "together," just still in the "talking" phase :\ ...I really like him, but this threw me a bit. He probably doesn't even realize how offensive he came across considering the fact he doesn't have any kids.

user banned 2 kids; New York 34017 posts
Jul 8th '13
Quoting MAAAMMEEE!!!:" That's what I was thinking! I don't think he knows me well enough to really say anything!"



then he shouldn't even be around your daughter.

justanotherchicken Alabama 2402 posts
Jul 8th '13

I would nicely set the boundaries but overstepping a second time would probably do it for me...

user banned Due January 20; 33 kids; North Carolina 14662 posts
Jul 8th '13

Slightly, because I think you should have done something letting her know that was wrong. So some kind of 'punishment'
But, without kids, it's not his place nor his 'right' to dispense parenting advice.

MAAAMMEEE!!! TTC since Mar 2016; 1 child; Hobe Sound, FL, United States 841 posts
Jul 8th '13
Quoting JiLLiAN.:" then he shouldn't even be around your daughter."


Oh no, he's never met her. We were chatting online when this happened. I think sometimes things can come across harsher through messaging, but I don't know.

user banned 2 kids; New York 34017 posts
Jul 8th '13
Quoting MAAAMMEEE!!!:" Oh no, he's never met her. We were chatting online when this happened. I think sometimes things can come across harsher through messaging, but I don't know."



Oh. Well, maybe he didn't mean it in a harsh way, but yeah, you definitely should just explain to her it was no good, but spankings? no way. I'd give him another chance but that's it.

Boobo&bugs 2 kids; Simpsonville, South Carolina 8124 posts
Jul 8th '13

I'd be upset. I would probably not be interested in dating him anymore. But it could just be that he doesn't get it because he doesn't have kids.

lovemylittleladies 2 kids; Michigan 1272 posts
Jul 8th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting GavinsMomJohnnysWife:</b>" He's not her dad, he isn't even a parent. Tell him to take his parenting advice and shove it. That would ... [snip!] ... shove it. That would piss me off. Yelling at your child no, spanking no, telling them no no and both of you picking it up YES."</blockquote>




All of this!

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
Jul 8th '13

I don't think you're overreacting at all. I actually think I would lose all interest in him over it. Offering parenting advice when you 1. Barely know the person, 2. Don't know the child, and 3. Are not a parent yourself is completely unreasonable. What a tool.

Jessica Marie* 1 child; Illinois 208 posts
Jul 10th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting MAAAMMEEE!!!:</b>" That's the crazy thing! We aren't even "together," just still in the "talking" phase :\ ...I really ... [snip!] ... threw me a bit. He probably doesn't even realize how offensive he came across considering the fact he doesn't have any kids."</blockquote>



If the person I was talking to did that I would tell him offended me in a slight way. I'm glad that the guy I'm talking to knows it isn't his place to say anything about that yet, especially since he hasn't met my son yet.



But if you're still interested in the guy and think it can go somewhere....I'd talk to him how it threw you off a bit and see what happens. If he's an ass about it is ditch him...if he is understanding and apologizes then I'd see where things go!