My good friends are in the process of adopting his 7 yr old son! They found out he was taken into state custody due to child abuse. He was conceived during an affair but my friend is more than happy to include him in their family. The dad moved like 5 states away but he always paid child support and kept in contact by phonecalls. He just never really got to visit because they lived so far away.
They have completed their home study and should get to bring E home this month!!
He would never just pay child support. He would want to be in the child's life as soon as he found out. And if he didn't want to father his child we wouldn't be together. Like someone else said, I don't go for deadbeats.
But as far as the "hypothetical" question.
If the home was unsafe we would try our hardest to get custody.
If the state was going to take the child from the mother we would welcome the child with open arms into our family. There is no way either of us would let his child go to foster care instead of with us.
Quoting Wiggity Wack:" Yeah, but I would expect him to care enough to at least try to get to know the kid. The kid didn't ask to be born. The kid was brought here through the carelessness parents. "
Anyways, I assume it might be a little bit of a life shock to find out you have a child out of nowhere, because someone is trying to get you to take it in and become a parent over night.
Most people have a 9 month warming up period.