I'm such a complete idiot! I believed him again stupid stupid me! It's no ones fault but my own why would I think twins would change anything. He doesn't want to change he just told me what I wanted to hear. He doesn't want to be here he doesn't want any of these responsibilities he wants to be a drunk and play dad once maybe twice a month. I told him that tonight too as we'll as then he only has to pretend to quit drinking once or twice a month too. I didn't say it rude like either I told him that that was how I felt so he hung up on me and avoided any calls or texts. I wish this would be easier I'm gonna let him keep the house I won't be able to afford it with three kids. I'm sorry I'm babbling I just really needed to get this out. I hate myself for loving him so much. Stupid stupid stupid
I'm sorry love. Don't be mad at yourself, no one is perfect an you had no way of knowing it was all an act. Take it as a lesson well learned.
Time to pull up my big girl panties and get back at it. It's gonna be a long road but I know deep down inside I'm a strong woman. I might have to give up a lot but my children are worth every sacrifice ill have to make.