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Do you think it's wrong? Transgender question. HighHeels Due May 12; 2 kids; Boston, Massachusetts 23443 posts
May 2nd '13

Do you think it's wrong that a transgender won't tell the person that they've been seeing,but no sex,that they're transgender? Yes/no,why? I mean,I understand that if they wait till they trust the other person to tell him/her,but keeping it from them??

Brittany Riot 2 kids; Campbellsville, Kentucky 2089 posts
May 2nd '13

I'd be up front about it, that way you don't develop a relationship first, and take a chance on the other person being a douche and leaving. Also, you want to be completely honest from the beginning, that way the person cares about YOU, not what they think you are.

susanesque 2 kids; Georgia 8430 posts
May 2nd '13

Yes. If you're going to get into a relationship you should be up front about that sort of thing, IMO.

homes cool Due July 25; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 63165 posts
May 2nd '13
Quoting ⚓ Sarah ⚓:" Yes, I see it as lying. Which is wrong"

Ditto.

TheyCallMeMOMMY♥ 3 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 6825 posts
May 2nd '13

Definatly, its a lie. And no one should ever have to ask if your a male/female so they cant be like "well you didnt ask"

Princess Celestia +1 TTC since Nov 2014; 1 child; Tallahassee, Florida 3681 posts
May 2nd '13

Yep.



I wouldn't care about being with a transgender (MTF or FTM), but if they didn't even bother to tell me in the beginning and I took their pants off to get a surprise, I'd be furious.

I'm His Amy He's My Rory 2 kids; Caldwell, Idaho 49366 posts
May 2nd '13

Yeah that's pretty crappy. I mean especially if the anatomy is part of the transgender identification, if that makes sense. I mean I can't think of many guys that would fall for a girl, then be okay if they found out months down the road she has a p***s, or vice versa. If there's feelings there it needs to be discussed to make sure all parties are okay with it.

Naturally Alternative 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Lafayette, Louisiana 6978 posts
May 2nd '13

I suppose I'm weird but... do you tell people EVERYTHING at first? Everyone has "secrets"... they shouldn't have to tell EVERYONE right off the bat if they don't want to.



I guess it depends on if you mean pre- or post OP... I can see the issue of pre, but not post.

jsi_ Virginia Beach, Virginia 2845 posts
May 2nd '13

Some people don't want to date trans, or maybe just dont believe in it or accept it....so waiting kind of makes it worse. If I were trans I'd rather say it now than later and endup hurting myself and that person if it turns out bad.

HighHeels Due May 12; 2 kids; Boston, Massachusetts 23443 posts
May 2nd '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Naturally Alternative~27w:</b>" I suppose I'm weird but... do you tell people EVERYTHING at first? Everyone has "secrets"... they shouldn't ... [snip!] ... the bat if they don't want to. I guess it depends on if you mean pre- or post OP... I can see the issue of pre, but not post."</blockquote>




Before they have surgery. Not everything,but common general things,like if you have kids,married but separated,things like that that they would eventually find out. Other than that,I understand if they don't want to mention more personal stuff.

Sugarhiccup LLC ; 5 kids; Lahaina, Hawaii 2845 posts
May 2nd '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting TheyCallMeMOMMY♥:</b>" Definatly, its a lie. And no one should ever have to ask if your a male/female so they cant be like "well you didnt ask""</blockquote>




:!:

Rob's Living Dead Girl Royersford, Pennsylvania 4307 posts
May 2nd '13
Quoting Mrs.R =):" Do you think it's wrong that a transgender won't tell the person that they've been seeing,but no sex,that ... [snip!] ... Yes/no,why? I mean,I understand that if they wait till they trust the other person to tell him/her,but keeping it from them??"


I understand waiting to see if the person's trustworthy as well, or if they're ready to reveal it to their partner.
But planning to not tell them or not having considered telling them well into the relationship is, I feel, a bad move and unfair.

⚓Misty⚓ 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7276 posts
May 3rd '13

I think it depends, if it's casual dating or a first date i wouldn't say anything, but after 3 or 4 dates i would bring it up. but there would have to be no sexual contact beforehand

nothingness Arizona 3578 posts
May 3rd '13

Extremely wrong, people who are heterosexual obviously date the opposite sex, so if you're just posing as the opposite sex they need to know. Before any dating. Something like that could cause serious damage to a person from just feeling betrayed to ruining a reputation under other circumstances. I wouldn't want to go out with someone thinking one thing and they are another.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
May 3rd '13

Well, this is one of those things that's really hard to talk about. I don't think it's wrong to keep it to yourself until you feel comfortable. Specially if they are not having sex yet. However, I feel like if you keep dating a certain person for more than a month, making shit serious & you don't tell them then yes, it's wrong. If you're going to start a serious relationship with someone then you should be honest with them.