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Sassyscorpio Due November 4; Minnesota 145 posts
May 1st '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting I Stab People:</b>" there is still absolutely no reason why he couldnt live with you. theres no excuse. i dont buy the whole ... [snip!] ... thing, you had time to meet someone else and get pregnant, but you didnt have time to raise your son? im sorry but just no."</blockquote>




This!!!!! :)

☮Hippie Jesus☮ 2 kids; West Virginia 10560 posts
May 1st '13
Quoting I Stab People:" there is still absolutely no reason why he couldnt live with you. theres no excuse. i dont buy the whole ... [snip!] ... thing, you had time to meet someone else and get pregnant, but you didnt have time to raise your son? im sorry but just no."


He has been with my since early in SO and mine's relationship... and was with me at the time I got pregnant as well. I am not saying that he started staying with me again last night.

Thr3e Little Birds 35 kids; Marysville, Washington 2720 posts
May 1st '13
Quoting .Colleen.:" I know this is not the type of response you are looking for but you sound terribly ungrateful and condescending ... [snip!] ... and picking apart and being nasty about every habit that does not agree with your 'so called' parenting is really disgusting"

I have to agree with this. I honestly don't get how you were able to meet someone new and get pregnant with their child, but you couldn't raise your own? O.o. Give the kid a little grace, his whole world was just turned upside down. I have been in his shoes and it is very confusing.

user banned Due September 27 (girl); 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
May 1st '13

How long have you had him back for?
It will just take some time for him to adjust, you will both get there.

Thr3e Little Birds 35 kids; Marysville, Washington 2720 posts
May 1st '13
Quoting Supafly★:" If you were taking care of him during the day, how did he get used to napping with a sippy and watching ... [snip!] ... glad you're finally taking responsibility but stop making excuses and take it slow. He is much more vulnerable than you are. "

:!:



☮Hippie Jesus☮ 2 kids; West Virginia 10560 posts
May 1st '13

Thanks everyone. Nowhere did I say that we just began making this transition last night. It has been awhile in the making and the slow progress was just discouraging for me. I certainly didn't run off with a boyfriend and get pregnant while my son was in my mom's care. He's here now and has been here. What mainly got me thinking about posting this was sitting here thinking about his bedtime situation still being difficult. I'm not sure what to do. I thought I could get some advice. The sippy cup issue is actually coming along better and the cartoons could be much worse, I suppose.



I'm about 7 months pregnant. Kaden had been staying with me for probably about 3 1/2 months before that... So whatever the math is. We haven't just started this process last night and I didn't even realize how big the sippy problem was until too late, but I'm glad we're getting that straightened out first.



I love my son and miss every second that I ever missed with him. It was definitely my fault, I know. I'm still trying to make it right and thought I could get some good advice at least about bedtime. Thanks anyway.

☮Hippie Jesus☮ 2 kids; West Virginia 10560 posts
May 1st '13
Quoting .Colleen.:" noone said that you did, idk why you feel the need to keep pointing this out. I hope you are up to the task when #2 comes, because it is a whole different ballpark from part time parenting of 1."


Actually, it was said that I "ran off and got knocked up". That's not even a fair accusation to make. Clearly I've not been a great mother the entire time, but I definitely didn't ditch my son to go run around with a man. What I am guilty of is letting my mom and them keep him in hopes that I could help his father... or fix things with him... make it work, blah blah. A huge waste of time and that was the mistake of the century. And of course I'm up to it. No one is punching holes in the walls of my house and threatening to kill themselves every other day now. SO takes care of my son like his own and this is the way the household should have been when I was married. I was just too dumb to get out of it for awhile and that was my own fault.

user banned California 36390 posts
May 1st '13
Quoting Supafly★:" We gave you advice. Stop being selfish and put his needs before yours. He was uprooted from what seems ... [snip!] ... That's the part everyone has a problem with. That makes you seem like you're not really mother material, to put it nicely. "


To be fair, it's probably easier on her LO to transition away from his grandparents slowly.

Thr3e Little Birds 35 kids; Marysville, Washington 2720 posts
May 1st '13
Quoting Supafly★:" We gave you advice. Stop being selfish and put his needs before yours. He was uprooted from what seems ... [snip!] ... That's the part everyone has a problem with. That makes you seem like you're not really mother material, to put it nicely. "

Yes. This is what I had a problem with. We are supposed to love our children unconditionally, not only when they are being good. What a horrible message you are sending to your son. "Oh you are annoying me with your habbits. Off to grannys you go." :roll:

MamaCass{+JOE} Due April 13; TTC since May 2015; 3 kids; 2 angel babies; Pennsylvania 42368 posts
May 1st '13

As for the TV thing....Just turn it off! You want him to play outside and be a kid, then turn the TV off and take him to the park. I guarantee he won't be crying about the TV if he's outside playing.



As for the bed thing...you just have to be persistent. Set a bedtime routine and put him to sleep in his bed. Every time he gets out of bed, you return him to bed. You firmly, yet gently explain to him that everybody sleeps in their bed.



Same with the sippy cup - just don't give it to him. Let him have a drink before he goes to bed, and then have him tell his sippy cup night night. It might take a few nights for him to adjust, but he will eventually.

user banned Due September 27 (girl); 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
May 1st '13
Quoting Thr3e Little Birds:" Yes. This is what I had a problem with. We are supposed to love our children unconditionally, not only ... [snip!] ... What a horrible message you are sending to your son. "Oh you are annoying me with your habbits. Off to grannys you go." :roll:"


And not everyone is capable of that. Not everyone is meant to be a mother. Congratulations that you fit into the high percentage of women who have those capabilities. But shame on you for talking down on someone who may not be able to live up to societies expectations of 'mom'.
People need to have some f**king compassion, give the judgemental shit a break.

user banned California 36390 posts
May 1st '13
Quoting Supafly★:" This is true. I didn't think of that. But neither did she - she's more concerned about "not dealing ... [snip!] ... about "not dealing with his habits" more than getting him used to her. From what it sounds like in that paragraph I quoted. "


Honestly, I feel for the OP. If it wasn't for my in-laws, I don't know what I would do. They help with LO all the time because my MIL is an AMAZING woman, mother, person, grandmother and I am just not. I can't always handle being a parent and DH is gone a lot for work. I am very grateful for the people in my life who help me.

Sofie+#2 2 kids; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7799 posts
May 1st '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber-lily:</b>" And not everyone is capable of that. Not everyone is meant to be a mother. Congratulations that you ... [snip!] ... to live up to societies expectations of 'mom'. People need to have some f**king compassion, give the judgemental shit a break."</blockquote>




But she's having another child..

user banned Due September 27 (girl); 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
May 1st '13
Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber-lily:</b>" And not everyone is capable of that. Not ... [snip!] ... to have some f**king compassion, give the judgemental shit a break."</blockquote> But she's having another child.."


So what? Some people need help with raising kids, and obviously she didn't have that from her ex husband. Reaching out for help is not wrong.

Thr3e Little Birds 35 kids; Marysville, Washington 2720 posts
May 1st '13
Quoting Kimber-lily:" And not everyone is capable of that. Not everyone is meant to be a mother. Congratulations that you ... [snip!] ... to live up to societies expectations of 'mom'. People need to have some f**king compassion, give the judgemental shit a break."

Meh. I am judgmental about this because I was raised by someone who did the same thing to me. I have been to years of counciling to deal with all of the emotional trauma it caused. Sometimes someone needs someone to point out something as serious as this so that they can nip it in the butt before it is too late. Honestly because I have been through it, I can say that I feel it is a form of abuse. I do not think that OP is to that point, or doing it intentionally, but it still will wear emotionally on the baby. I would speak up if I felt a child was being abused or neglected, why not speak up if I feel a child is being traumatized emotionally?