living with in-laws *vent* JJLMom 1 child; McKean, Pennsylvania 33 posts
Apr 25th '13

I love my in-laws. They are really great. However, I have this fear that my son will attach himself to one of them and prefer them over me. I feel so selfish. My son is 3 months old now, and i feel like our bond is pretty good. He's ebf, and we co-sleep. I have not left him yet but feel like i'm going to be a worried mess when i do. I hate feeling this way and would love to just trust that everything will be okay, but my mind won't let me.

I feel like. This all started when we first came home. I was already feeling useless, because we were having so many breastfeeding issues. I was tired and frustrated, and my MIL and FIL kept taking my child when he would cry, which made me feel even more inadequate. I had a breakdown one night and blurted out, "i wish everyone would just let me do it!" They were very understanding and backed way off, but i think it started this fear of people taking my son from me. Again, i really love them and feel like it's stupid of me to feel this way, but i do. It feels like an everyday struggle. I wish i could afford my own place.
Anyone else ever feel this way

user banned 2 kids; Bellingham, Washington 1616 posts
Apr 25th '13

Your son will attach to other people. Its normal for them to attach to another person that is around a lot. But YOU will always be momma. He will always love you more than anyone else. (except daddy maybe if he turns into a little daddy's boy lol).

A is Me 1 child; South Carolina 3782 posts
Apr 25th '13

I think you're just feeling insecure as a first time mom. I live with my parents, so I get it. But, the more people that your son has to love and trust, the better. :) You will always be his mama and no one will fill those shoes. I very rarely leave my son but when I do, I like knowing that he is with my parents who he knows very well and is comfortable with. And as DS got older, I really started being thankful to have someone to keep him busy for a few minutes, even if it is just long enough for me to eat lol.

Just Emily :) 3 kids; Aberdeen, Sd, United States 15303 posts
Apr 25th '13

I understand. We live with my parents right now. Ds didn't know them until about a month ago. He's all about his grandpa. Ives the only person ds wants. It sucks.

eKnuckles Due February 13; Florida 3476 posts
Apr 25th '13

I've been in your EXACT position. First of all i'd say at a young age don't let anyone take your child for a long time.
But other than that just know your child will have relationships wih other people, its normal, and is not threatening your relationship. Its been a long hard road for me to understAnd this, but it's true.

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
Apr 25th '13

be careful about the baby blues. i had such anxiety over every thing. it doesnt help that my inlaws are completely unsupportive. if yours are great and backed away when you told them to let them have baby for a little bit and take a hot bath and relax for 30 minutes

JJLMom 1 child; McKean, Pennsylvania 33 posts
Apr 25th '13

I guess i feel okay with him being attached to someone else. I'm just afraid of the day that i get rejected in preference of someone else. I feel stupid/crazy/irrational feeling that way. He does love his daddy, but i'm okay with that.

Thanks for reassurance. My mom walked out on me when i was 2. I could never do that to my son. So, yes, i will always be momma and here for him no matter what. I guess that's all i can do.