I trust my SO with his female friends (one of which is even an ex) and he trusts me with my male friends (one of whom he knows I had a crush on before we got together). I don't think that I could deal with being in a relationship with someone that I couldn't trust to make good judgement about who they hang out with.
I guess I never thought it was a big deal. SO always got along with everyone in High School. Every once and a while he will have a conversation with someone I didn't know he was friends with and I just say "I didn't know you talked to her!"
He even talks to people that he has slept with before (He was quite the man wh**e back in the day.) I guess that bothers me a little bit but I don't want to be the insecure person I used to be. He comes home to me at night and that is what matters.
I don't know how I accept it, I just do. We have had quite a few conversations. I still talk to people that I have slept with in the past, but I could never in a million years cheat on SO. I would like to think he feels the same way.
Wow, I have a couple of male BFFs, one of whom I used to hang out with every day for about 10 years before he moved away a year and a half ago.
I would never in a million years cheat on my husband, but if he had ever tried to limit my friendships, I couldn't have married him.
I met my SO through my (female) best friend who I'd known since middle school. She was by BF's best friend from college.
I have absolutely no qualms about them talking, texting, hanging out... nothin'.
IMO, if there is no trust... it's going to negatively impact the relationship. And if there's a reason to mistrust........ that's a whole different story.
Quoting Loka Lokita:" I have been cheated on before. I think that's the issue. It's almost like SO is too good to be true sometimes. ... [snip!] ... to hurt this relationship. Maybe I should just surprise him and let him do what he wants and keep my insecurities quiet."
SO did cheat on me and I hadn't been cheated on in the past.
It is no excuse but it happened when we had only been together for a month and things weren't as serious. SO had only had a couple serious relationships but each lasted less than a year. It has been about a year and a few months since I found out and we stuck through it and he knows that if it happens again he will be breaking my heart, his own and DD's. I NEVER thought that I would stick with someone through them cheating on me and there are days that I still think about it and get the sudden urge to punch him in the face ( :lol: )
We talked through it and worked it out together though and decided to stick through it. It worked for us.