<blockquote><b>Quoting 11 weeks with #3!:</b>" isnt that what Kim Kardashian says? lol"</blockquote>
Lil Wayne, lmao! It's really true though....
Quoting pilot Jess:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" I'm trying. It's just stupid that I can't ... [snip!] ... find yourself thinking about how wonderful it would be to be with him, imagine your husband being there hearing your thoughts."
you're right. It would really hurt me & I've thought about it & I know it would really hurt him. Being with LO really helps my thoughts. She has a happy home & I wouldn't put my selfish wants before her. I love my dh & I want to stop caring about X. I want to love dh like that, I really do.
Also, I'm not trying to pick on you, but you say that you really aren't that immature, but this notion is by definition immature. Toying with peoples lives even in a hypothetical state says a lot about your relationship. Do young marriages work out? Sure they can, if you grow together. there is a lot of growing that you will do in the next decade, and if you aren't on the same page as your husband 100%, it probably won't work.
You don't have to act on anything for damage to be done to a relationship.
I wish you the best and hope you get out of this rut which has nothing good in store.
I've been going through this for years now. My husband is an incredible hard worker & father. My x and I were together for 4 and1/2 years we were pregnant at one point and unfortunately it ended in miscarriage. Til this day I still think about him from time to time. He was my best friend, I sometimes just miss our conversations. However I would never jeopardize my relationship now . We have two kids and have been married since 09'. Honestly I think we are stuck with the illusion of how happy we were than but no relationship will ever be the same. If it ain't broke don't fix it. I'm not going to sit here and tell you not to go back to your x but do what you feel is right for yourself. Also would you bring your child around a pothead? Or could you trust someone other than your SO around your child? I ask myself these things all the time. we live in a jacked up world these days and you can't trust anyone.
You're still very young and have only been with these two men so it's no wonder you feel this way. However, you made a very "grownup" decision at a young age and need to stick with it, especially now that you have a family together. You made vows and the whole nine yards... Stick to them.
If you are having these feelings and they won't go away then you need to vent to someone. Perhaps consider seeing a therapist or even confiding in your husband. Whatever you do, don't hang out with that ex. It would be a real shitter if you left your family to be with this guy and he just continued being a piece of crap and went on to leave you (and I can almost guarantee that's what would happen as relationships born in this way almost always end in the same way).
I was in that exact same situation. I actually went to counseling over it. I finally just stopped contact with him completely. Sometimes it's still hard bc I see his fb an what not and I got super jealous recently when I saw on fb he was dating a mutual friend. I felt betrayed by the friend bc she knew how much he meant to me. It is hard. But you have to just ignore it and not let yourself sit and think about him