Reply
Baby #2 and Cheating Dr. Angelface 2 kids; California 8236 posts
Apr 6th '13

Lately I've been having little bouts of panic when I think about the new baby girl and how loving her will change (will it?) my relationship with my 4 year old daughter.
I know this is irrational and i know it runs deeper but yet I still have these fears.



I feel almost the way I would feel if I was cheating on my husband, if that makes any sense. Like loving the new daughter as much as I love her is a betrayal of my love for her. (I KNOW it isn't in my rational brain)



Tell me how this transpired for you? Did you have these fears? I imagine if I was having a boy I wouldn't feel as guilty.

NICKEL☮POLIS 2 kids; Ontario 6268 posts
Apr 6th '13
Quoting Dr. Angelface:" Lately I've been having little bouts of panic when I think about the new baby girl and how loving her ... [snip!] ... Tell me how this transpired for you? Did you have these fears? I imagine if I was having a boy I wouldn't feel as guilty."


I have those fears.. part of the reason I hope this one is a boy. I'm sure they're unfounded though and you won't love your daughter any less. It will take some time for everyone to adjust but it will be okay. :)

Tara plus 3! Due October 10 (girl); 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Missouri 2773 posts
Apr 6th '13

I worried the same with my second. I didn't even care much for the pregnancy bc of it. I didn't want my son to have less attention or feel I didn't love him as much anymore. Now he's 3 and my daughter is 10 months and they absolutely love eachother. I promise it will be okay.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
Apr 6th '13

I felt that same way when I had my daughter, and my first baby was a boy. It made no difference, I just felt like there was no way I could possibly love them both as much I loved my first born. Like if I fully loved dd then I couldn't have enough love to share with my ds. Silly. Like i only hav a finite amount of love to give my chuldren and making him share it was going to be a betrayal.
Honestly once she arrived I realized that its a different but equal love with each child bcasue thy are all individuals so your relationship with them reflects that. I don't feel that same way about each of my babies but I don't love anyone more than another. It's just different.

Me+ (3) 3 kids; Lima, OH, United States 2355 posts
Apr 6th '13

I also felt like this when I was pregnant with my daughter.
My oldest, 3 years old, is a boy.
My daughter is now 2 months old (on the 14th, at least)
but it isn't any different.. though, I had thought it would be.
Once baby is here, everything will be fine.

Dr. Angelface 2 kids; California 8236 posts
Apr 6th '13

I'm so happy to hear i'm not CRAZY for having these thoughts!!

ρiηkie ρie 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Kentucky 21902 posts
Apr 6th '13

I worried I wouldn't be able to love LO as much and I was also terrified that DD was going to hate me for having another baby too. But once I saw LO for the first time it was like my love doubled and all the fears I had just disappeared. DD still loves me too. Haha.

Mama to J ♥ 1 child; Atlanta, GA, United States 2039 posts
Apr 7th '13

I only have one daughter...but I fear this too (If I have a 2nd baby)! In my brain it feels like she is MY WORLD....so how could 2 kids be my world? ha. It feels like if she is my #1 princess...etc....then I cant very well tell the new baby that she is my #1 princess. lol. It just feels weird for me....