Lately I've been having little bouts of panic when I think about the new baby girl and how loving her will change (will it?) my relationship with my 4 year old daughter.
I know this is irrational and i know it runs deeper but yet I still have these fears.
I feel almost the way I would feel if I was cheating on my husband, if that makes any sense. Like loving the new daughter as much as I love her is a betrayal of my love for her. (I KNOW it isn't in my rational brain)
Tell me how this transpired for you? Did you have these fears? I imagine if I was having a boy I wouldn't feel as guilty.
Quoting Dr. Angelface:" Lately I've been having little bouts of panic when I think about the new baby girl and how loving her ... [snip!] ... Tell me how this transpired for you? Did you have these fears? I imagine if I was having a boy I wouldn't feel as guilty."
I have those fears.. part of the reason I hope this one is a boy. I'm sure they're unfounded though and you won't love your daughter any less. It will take some time for everyone to adjust but it will be okay. :)
I worried the same with my second. I didn't even care much for the pregnancy bc of it. I didn't want my son to have less attention or feel I didn't love him as much anymore. Now he's 3 and my daughter is 10 months and they absolutely love eachother. I promise it will be okay.
I felt that same way when I had my daughter, and my first baby was a boy. It made no difference, I just felt like there was no way I could possibly love them both as much I loved my first born. Like if I fully loved dd then I couldn't have enough love to share with my ds. Silly. Like i only hav a finite amount of love to give my chuldren and making him share it was going to be a betrayal.
Honestly once she arrived I realized that its a different but equal love with each child bcasue thy are all individuals so your relationship with them reflects that. I don't feel that same way about each of my babies but I don't love anyone more than another. It's just different.
I also felt like this when I was pregnant with my daughter.
My oldest, 3 years old, is a boy.
My daughter is now 2 months old (on the 14th, at least)
but it isn't any different.. though, I had thought it would be.
Once baby is here, everything will be fine.
I'm so happy to hear i'm not CRAZY for having these thoughts!!
I worried I wouldn't be able to love LO as much and I was also terrified that DD was going to hate me for having another baby too. But once I saw LO for the first time it was like my love doubled and all the fears I had just disappeared. DD still loves me too. Haha.
I only have one daughter...but I fear this too (If I have a 2nd baby)! In my brain it feels like she is MY WORLD....so how could 2 kids be my world? ha. It feels like if she is my #1 princess...etc....then I cant very well tell the new baby that she is my #1 princess. lol. It just feels weird for me....