Grandparent rant ~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
Apr 6th '13

DS is 4 1/2 months old & ever since he was born DH's father has had some snarky a*****e remark about the way I do things or what we aren't doing, etc. Its started with breastfeeding because DS is EBF. The comment was: Looks like your gonna start doing half formula soon so everyone else gets to feed him too right?

The next one was about his carseat. DS was barely 22inches tall & he kept saying 'Hes too bunched up in that carseat, move the straps up.'
f**k no! Its my kid & the carseat holds babies up until 29 inches height wise so the highest setting is NOT ok.

Then its 'Why don't you let him have Coke?' This man actually had the balls to give him coke at one point(around 2 1/2 months).... I flipped shit when I found out

Now its 'Why aren't you giving him regular food? Why aren't you letting him try things? Why aren't you trying to get him to stand up?'

How about NO! Why can't he read a damn baby book or something?! He always acts like I'm full of shit no matter what I say. I'm close to blowing a gasket. Leave my parenting skills alone because I have had to repair some of your 'parenting' failures with my husband and quit calling my son zekester, zekie, z, & fat man. His name is EZEKIEL or ZEKE.

What can I do? I'm losing my mind....

user banned 2 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 19220 posts
Apr 6th '13

not much. got to ride it out with the rest of us.

You can try talking to him, just you and him. But he probably wont take to some kid a fraction of his age telling him whats right or wrong.

Try to keep the visits down lol

Smash Fins ; 2 kids; Denver, Colorado 1479 posts
Apr 6th '13

That's very VERY annoying... But there's not much you can do with out causing tension in the family.

nendhsiwjru 6 kids; Denver, Co, United States 37137 posts
Apr 6th '13

Has your husband or have you said anything to him? I know my husband would flip out if my parenting choices were being criticized or undermined by my inlaws (whether it was his mom or step dad) that's just BS

BlackVelvet 1 child; 1 angel baby; Aurora, Illinois 4767 posts
Apr 6th '13

Im sure they mean well. But they have to understand your his Mother and they should respect your wishes when it comes to your child.

Perhaps start limiting your visits and if they ask why explain it and tell them that when they respect you then you'll start bringing your LO over.

Im no help here. My LO only grandparents live 1000 miles away. SOs parents died many years ago

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
Apr 6th '13

Do you live with him. If yes, then there's really nothing you can do but suck it up. If not, I'd stop all communication with him.

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
Apr 6th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien:</b>" Has your husband or have you said anything to him? I know my husband would flip out if my parenting choices ... [snip!] ... if my parenting choices were being criticized or undermined by my inlaws (whether it was his mom or step dad) that's just BS"</blockquote>

My husband has corrected him a few times & also explained that I have done recent research but since his father has had children he thinks things from 21 years ago still apply to the present ways. My husband has a hard time standing up to him because he wants his father to understand & accept him but it doesn't work that way since his father favors his sister because she's biologically his. He adopted DH because his mother had a deadbeat BD

saageex3 2 kids; New York 6699 posts
Apr 6th '13

My MIL can become very overbearing and sometimes i want to just swing at her lol but she means well. She's the opposite as where she's always thinking things aren't safe. She hates that I have DD in Jordan's because she likes stride rites although DD has a pair and I do put her in them from time to time. She gets mad that I will put DD in open toes sandals in the summer because she thinks she'll break her toes. She still feeds DD baby food when she's over there because she doesn't think she is ready for " real food" even though I've been feeding DD table food since 12 months and she has 7 teeth. I just stare at her when she makes comments or let SO deal with it.

Some of the things he does and says are cray though. I would never give DD soda and she's 19 months so I couldn't imagine at 2. I won't even give her juice!
As for the carseats, they may not fully understand since when they had kids carseats weren't necessary or illegal not to have. MIL always puts DD in with lose straps and the chest piece to her belly and I just fix it and say to DD " there, now you're nice and tight" and MIL caught on.

You should honestly just TALK, talk being the keyboard lol not yell, to him about how you feel and why you do the things you do

J+B=Z&L ♡ 2 kids; Pensacola, Florida 5968 posts
Apr 6th '13

Your son's got a pretty rad name...just saying.

Anywho there's not too much you can do short of limiting communication with him or just biting your tongue and dealing with it.

Onalee's Mummy Due August 26 (boy); 1 child; Newcastle, Australia 5355 posts
Apr 6th '13

My MIL and I have issues concerning the same things sometimes. She thinks because she has been a mother longer she can tell me what to do. I have no trouble reminding her that I'm the parent and she is the grandparent so she gets no say about these things. It does blow up when I say it but she loves my daughter and has to get over it so she continues to see her. I don't hold a grudge and my daughter has never witnessed these confrontations.

There's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. Just remain calm when you do so and try not to take comments personally. You're the one holding all of the cards

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
Apr 6th '13

We do NOT live with that man. I would DIE LOL. We both have talked to him a bit in person whenever each situation comes around but he acts like we are stupid because he's been a parent longer. Like no matter what he's right, we're wrong & we're doing things wrong. I haven't even tried talking to him about not vaccinating DS because if he throws back a snarky remark I'll yank my hair out. I do things right & I know this. I just hate having someone make me feel like I don't have my sons best interests at heart

Wolfskrieger 17 kids; Morgan Hill, California 1569 posts
Apr 6th '13

Sounds like my moms boyfriend... Except he doesn't feed him things with out me knowing about it. I just kind of nod my head and pretend to listen.