just a thought notafullbagofsugar Due February 29 (twins); 4 kids; 2 angel babies; stoke, uk, United Kingdom 5370 posts
Mar 22nd '13

i know this is harsh to say but i think the saying is true when they say if you dont love them now you must never have loved them at all because looking back i can never once justify staying in my situation because i loved him, it was always because of fear of the unknown, i was scared of the struggle of being a single parent but since it has just been me and my babies life has been a lot easier, they now have a routine, all bills are paid on time, never find myself stressing if i will have enough money, the house is always a lot cleaner and tidier, granted it will never be a show home but its an improvement, in general i am a lot happier, mine and my childrens lifes have improved so much and definitely heading in the right direction, all they need now is their dad not some memory of him, i just wish he hadnt turned his back on them, i am over my "need" for him because if i am honest thats all i THOUGHT he was, i thought i needed him, but clearly i dont, i am a lot stronger and happier with out him but his kids arent they will always need and want him and i will keep pursuing the matter until they do get to see him

Faye's Mama 1 child; Springfield, MO, United States 4569 posts
Mar 22nd '13

Holy run on sentence O_O

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
Mar 22nd '13

Ehh. I disagree. There was a time where I was really considering leaving DH because I thought I no longer loved him. Yet I knew I once loved him so much, which was why I decided to talk to him instead of just getting up and leaving. It went on for like two, three months and FINALLY after working on our issues. The love slowly returned. Till this day I can't explain what made me feel like this. Yet I believe that you can love someone, and for whatever reason the love can fade away or become stronger.

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
Mar 22nd '13

That was such a ramble i didn't follow half of it.

But no, i don't agree. I don't love my bd #1 anymore, but i was mad about him for three years. Love can change, grow, or die. That doesn't invalidate previous feelings

Totally in love with her 2 kids; Houston, Texas 543 posts
Apr 24th '13

I too disagree. My husband and I separated in October of last year and after a year of trying to fix our relationship and dealing with things that I shouldn't have had to deal with to try and get that love back I finally said enough is enough. I currently do not love him any longer, and haven't for a long time. That being said, I did love him in the beginning of our relationship and marriage *almost 10 years all together*. I was very much in love with that man, but as we grew older and matured we grew into different people with different quirks and personalities than we originally had and there are things about him that I will never understand and never again put up with *and I'm sure he would say the same for me.* But we are still parents and can still communicate with regards to our children and get along really well and agree about a lot of things regarding them. We have a lot of issues between the two of us on a relationship level, or the lack there of, but we put that aside when in front of the girls and act like adults. We are "friends" who tolerate one another and I will "love" him as the father of my children and I will respect him as a person and a friend but never again will I be IN LOVE with him.